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DaoistyQNGiX
DaoistyQNGiXLv142yr
2022-07-06 03:40

Story was okay until it became absolute garbage once the MC meets the strawhats. Everything was so forced and now his “future” plans are extremely idiotic lol Do not waste your time on this fic.

Liked by 115 people

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Replies29
DaoistyQNGiX
DaoistyQNGiXLv14

Just skip the first 12 chapters because they are pointless lol story is trash but if you want to still read it then don’t until the strawhats meet Enel.

leo26
leo26Lv12

I heavily disagree with this review, The interaction with the strawhats did seem a little forced but were still within the realm of possibility, it did not ruin anything as stated by your review, His plans for the future also makes perfect sense He wants to temporarily join the marines for armament haki and the six power and there is nothing wrong with it, Honestly your review is completely misleading.

DaoistyQNGiX
DaoistyQNGiXLv14

He wanted to join CP0 not the navy and the point of haki is by fighting and he already knows the basics by the show/manga so what is the point of joining any organization? There isn’t any. He has a better chance so just go out in the world and find people to fight because he can always escape. And the fact that he wanted to join CP0 was idiotic and just made no sense. And he just started to make plans after so all that time…. Story becake awful then lol maybe if I restarted the fic at the strawhat meeting then sure I might like it but the entire 12 chapters before it were pointless and made the MC look like a complete moron. You don’t need a teacher for haki.

leo26:I heavily disagree with this review, The interaction with the strawhats did seem a little forced but were still within the realm of possibility, it did not ruin anything as stated by your review, His plans for the future also makes perfect sense He wants to temporarily join the marines for armament haki and the six power and there is nothing wrong with it, Honestly your review is completely misleading.
leo26
leo26Lv12

Ah yes you don't need a teacher for haki because every1 automatically knows how to use haki, it's not like zoro and luffy needed some1 else help to get it.

DaoistyQNGiX:He wanted to join CP0 not the navy and the point of haki is by fighting and he already knows the basics by the show/manga so what is the point of joining any organization? There isn’t any. He has a better chance so just go out in the world and find people to fight because he can always escape. And the fact that he wanted to join CP0 was idiotic and just made no sense. And he just started to make plans after so all that time…. Story becake awful then lol maybe if I restarted the fic at the strawhat meeting then sure I might like it but the entire 12 chapters before it were pointless and made the MC look like a complete moron. You don’t need a teacher for haki.
Jorlat123
Jorlat123Lv14

Dude..you are right. Haki is a free thing..who needs a teacher? Almost everyone in One Piece knows it. Haha

leo26:Ah yes you don't need a teacher for haki because every1 automatically knows how to use haki, it's not like zoro and luffy needed some1 else help to get it.
JojoVanish
JojoVanishLv1

Of course, if friend, everyone in One Piece knows how to use the haki.

DaoistyQNGiX:He wanted to join CP0 not the navy and the point of haki is by fighting and he already knows the basics by the show/manga so what is the point of joining any organization? There isn’t any. He has a better chance so just go out in the world and find people to fight because he can always escape. And the fact that he wanted to join CP0 was idiotic and just made no sense. And he just started to make plans after so all that time…. Story becake awful then lol maybe if I restarted the fic at the strawhat meeting then sure I might like it but the entire 12 chapters before it were pointless and made the MC look like a complete moron. You don’t need a teacher for haki.
Asir_Sandman
Asir_SandmanLv4

Knows Haki, BUT doesn't have it

Jorlat123:Dude..you are right. Haki is a free thing..who needs a teacher? Almost everyone in One Piece knows it. Haha
TheNight_Wyvern
TheNight_WyvernLv2

Yes yes so much that Luffy needed a teacher honestly what you said is really stupid

Jorlat123:Dude..you are right. Haki is a free thing..who needs a teacher? Almost everyone in One Piece knows it. Haha
Jorlat123
Jorlat123Lv14

LOL. Someone doesn't get the sarcasm huh. SMH

TheNight_Wyvern:Yes yes so much that Luffy needed a teacher honestly what you said is really stupid
LordRhyolith
LordRhyolithLv12

I don't think having of the manga or anime will give you an advantage at haki. It's the same as having knowledge about karate and so on, you won't become a master by just having seen it. Joining the CP0 makes sense since they should have competent teachers regarding haki and that other stuff.

DaoistyQNGiX:He wanted to join CP0 not the navy and the point of haki is by fighting and he already knows the basics by the show/manga so what is the point of joining any organization? There isn’t any. He has a better chance so just go out in the world and find people to fight because he can always escape. And the fact that he wanted to join CP0 was idiotic and just made no sense. And he just started to make plans after so all that time…. Story becake awful then lol maybe if I restarted the fic at the strawhat meeting then sure I might like it but the entire 12 chapters before it were pointless and made the MC look like a complete moron. You don’t need a teacher for haki.
Adrian_Quisari
Adrian_QuisariLv1

Te das cuenta que los usuarios de haki son personas con talento en el, y que no todos lo pueden usar, aparte que cada personaje tuvo algun tipo de maestro desde instructores en la marina a piratas enseñando a novatos. Creo que la excepción es Doflamingo usando el haki del Rey y talvez Kaido por ser de una raza diferente :v

DaoistyQNGiX:He wanted to join CP0 not the navy and the point of haki is by fighting and he already knows the basics by the show/manga so what is the point of joining any organization? There isn’t any. He has a better chance so just go out in the world and find people to fight because he can always escape. And the fact that he wanted to join CP0 was idiotic and just made no sense. And he just started to make plans after so all that time…. Story becake awful then lol maybe if I restarted the fic at the strawhat meeting then sure I might like it but the entire 12 chapters before it were pointless and made the MC look like a complete moron. You don’t need a teacher for haki.
JKingSniper
JKingSniperLv6

...wow that logic means I can learn how to make spacecraft by just watching sci-fi stuff

DaoistyQNGiX:He wanted to join CP0 not the navy and the point of haki is by fighting and he already knows the basics by the show/manga so what is the point of joining any organization? There isn’t any. He has a better chance so just go out in the world and find people to fight because he can always escape. And the fact that he wanted to join CP0 was idiotic and just made no sense. And he just started to make plans after so all that time…. Story becake awful then lol maybe if I restarted the fic at the strawhat meeting then sure I might like it but the entire 12 chapters before it were pointless and made the MC look like a complete moron. You don’t need a teacher for haki.
Bob_Uchiha_XD
Bob_Uchiha_XDLv4

Chapter 14

Rovontheus
RovontheusLv4

Everyone can learn haki if they keep on fighting haki users by breaking their limits. Having basic haki dosnt mean your stronger than those without it, some people physical strength are stronger so they can fight basic haki users and learn it by themself. Rayleigh only made Luffy learn haki faster by telling him about haki while luffy had to do all the work and he only taught him mostly about observation haki by blindfold hitting him and armanent haki was learn all by himself cause it cant be taught only the knowledge of armanent haki existence helped him learn faster which was getting beaten physically in alot of life and death battle which is why Rayleigh only watched over Luffy for a year. Before Luffy training (timeskip 2 years) Rayleigh scanned the island saying theres more than 500 monsters whom luffy cant beat (in cannon) that explain it clearly that he wanted Luffy to have Life and death battle and that it cant be taught directly only observation haki can be taught which im sure sky people excel at it cus even a kid can use mantra/haki in cannon

leo26:Ah yes you don't need a teacher for haki because every1 automatically knows how to use haki, it's not like zoro and luffy needed some1 else help to get it.
ShamelessGengar
ShamelessGengarLv1

Could you elaborate on what happens, please?

Rhandson
RhandsonLv1

no theres praticaly no details that is not writen in the manga or anime, be it one piece hunterxhunter or cultivation novels theres no details that you need a teacher for is all simply stuff with nothing further behind it, and if you forgot he already knows up to date content of luffy vs kaido 1000+ chapter

leo26:Ah yes you don't need a teacher for haki because every1 automatically knows how to use haki, it's not like zoro and luffy needed some1 else help to get it.
Rhandson
RhandsonLv1

no most people in one piece world never heard of it only some knows and less can use

JojoVanish:Of course, if friend, everyone in One Piece knows how to use the haki.
GrimReeFer
GrimReeFerLv1

You would only need a teacher if you don't know about it, Luffy had zero info on haki, so of course rayleigh had to teach him, anyone that has watch the anime or read the manger knows the basics and can go from there, or did you think the first person to use haki had a teacher? Use you're brains lol.

Jojo26032908
Jojo26032908Lv1

Point, rokushiki and haki are very simple in concept, they just require insane amount of training to learn.

GrimReeFer:You would only need a teacher if you don't know about it, Luffy had zero info on haki, so of course rayleigh had to teach him, anyone that has watch the anime or read the manger knows the basics and can go from there, or did you think the first person to use haki had a teacher? Use you're brains lol.
RulerOfTheMoleRats
RulerOfTheMoleRatsLv1

idk, man. Seemed pretty tone deaf and unclear to me. Expecially the last sentence.

Jorlat123:LOL. Someone doesn't get the sarcasm huh. SMH
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MLakuru
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It's amazing how fanfiction authors can still screw up a story even though they have a complete world and character list that they can copy and take inspiration from the original. You literally have a huge world that you can use for your story but you shrunk it down and half assed it because either you're lazy or you really don't care or try writing a serious story. Lets also not forget how bad of a character you made Enel turn out to be and how overpowered he is. You made any and all forms of conflict obsolete simply because Enel can probably just beat and kill everyone in the story. The characters have had hardly any interactions between each other and there is not depth to any character so far and if there is you did a poor job at it. Simply put, the characters are boring, hollow dolls that I don't care to remember about. The plot is pretty much nonexistent. I truly don't know what or if there are any kind of story being told here. Some nobody gets reborn as Enel. We don't get any sort of development for him so we can't like or care for the character. Not just him(but mostly him) we don't have any plot or story or any details for anything thats going on. You just created some characters and threw them into a poorly made one piece world. I dont know what the goal and motivations of the character are. Whether he has dreams, likes, dislikes, you know core things that make people feel alive? tldr- Nobody gets reborn as Enel in one piece then proceeds to train... and find even better ways to train... Thats it. No one expects fanfiction to be good and your story can be added to the pile of mediocre fics that prove even more that fanfiction authors dont know what they are doing and clearly need to respect the world more. At least your story doesnt have the typical harem, where every girl falls for mc... or it? Wouldnt suprise me if you start thinking with your lower half and turn this into another pokemon collector.

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