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Entrail_JI
Entrail_JIAuthor3yr
2021-07-04 17:35

Since most authors vote 5 stars for their novel, I shall follow their example and do the same. - Not looking for an excuse to rate my story 5 stars....definitely not. Jokes aside, I would really appreciate it if you could leave behind constructive criticism regarding my novel such as, - Whether my grammar needs improvement - Each chapter is too long - Structure is a mess Anything that makes me strive to become a better author is desirable, as I am looking to continuously improve myself and the story as I write

Liked by 579 people

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Replies85
TofSpades
TofSpadesLv3

Great job with this one. Certi book.

Crystal_Foxington
Crystal_FoxingtonLv14

I'm a bit confuse d now in the description it said he became a mob as in animal or monster or somthing thag would be in a forest or dungeon but instead in the story he isnt a mob that's a bit confusing

Entrail_JI
Entrail_JIAuthor

I see where you're coming from, but mob doesn't necessarily mean nonhuman. It means 'extra' 'side-character' I understand why it may seem confusing since a lot of novels here use mob with regard with how you described it

Crystal_Foxington:I'm a bit confuse d now in the description it said he became a mob as in animal or monster or somthing thag would be in a forest or dungeon but instead in the story he isnt a mob that's a bit confusing
white_hell
white_hellLv4

Actually, I hope the mc don't intentionally get close to the female character. I know his action makes them feel like he is trying to hit on them.( it's normal to take that conclusion if anybody experience it first hand, but as a reader from the third poin of view, I don't know if I want to laugh or feel annoyed). is it his strategy to make them stay far away from him by making them feel annoyed or to get close to them for future event development? Nonetheless, deep in my heart, I feel it will be weirder if he try to stay far away, but everytime he comes, disaster is about to happen. Maybe their impression about him will be "the disaster bringer". lol But I believe the author can make a good romance. so, just do your thing, I trust you! please don't feel pressure. I still like the plot of the story. ❤

Entrail_JI
Entrail_JIAuthor

MC isn't intentionally trying to get close to female characters. Melissa exception, cause he needed potions. The romance will be slow, and I will try my best to make it as natural and fluent as possible. Meaning that there won't be any damsel in distress type of scenarios. I will try to make it as natural as possible.

white_hell:Actually, I hope the mc don't intentionally get close to the female character. I know his action makes them feel like he is trying to hit on them.( it's normal to take that conclusion if anybody experience it first hand, but as a reader from the third poin of view, I don't know if I want to laugh or feel annoyed). is it his strategy to make them stay far away from him by making them feel annoyed or to get close to them for future event development? Nonetheless, deep in my heart, I feel it will be weirder if he try to stay far away, but everytime he comes, disaster is about to happen. Maybe their impression about him will be "the disaster bringer". lol But I believe the author can make a good romance. so, just do your thing, I trust you! please don't feel pressure. I still like the plot of the story. ❤
white_hell
white_hellLv4

Thanks for explaining! I’m sorry for the misunderstanding that I have. Nonetheless, after reading your reply, I feel more rest assure. Please keep up the good work! I’m very thankful for your dedication in satisfying my curiosity and desire. [img=update] [img=recommend]

Entrail_JI:MC isn't intentionally trying to get close to female characters. Melissa exception, cause he needed potions. The romance will be slow, and I will try my best to make it as natural and fluent as possible. Meaning that there won't be any damsel in distress type of scenarios. I will try to make it as natural as possible.
DaoistuDuLYB
DaoistuDuLYBLv1

korusaee
korusaeeLv1

The story is brilliantly written, and the grammar is also almost perfect, though I did notice a few places where you used 'than' instead of 'then', not nitpicking, just informing since you asked.

korusaee
korusaeeLv1

Also I wished to ask you, what happened to the Parker family ?

Entrail_JI
Entrail_JIAuthor

They have not been forgotten They will come back soon in a pretty big arc

korusaee:Also I wished to ask you, what happened to the Parker family ?
Karthik_suresh
Karthik_sureshLv11

Can’t wait

Entrail_JI:They have not been forgotten They will come back soon in a pretty big arc
JimmyBlah
JimmyBlahLv14

Due to the fact that you draw inspiration from TNE I’ve got high hopes

Silent_Akudama
Silent_AkudamaLv12

I will give this novel 5 stars review! compared to other novels in this website this novel is on whole new level very fun and interesting to read, while early chapter were filled with info dumps it was still interesting to read and info dumps didn't make the story boring, while the first few chapter needs to be edited or even re-rewritten in my opinion they were not bad just inconsistencies and errors were glaring but as the story progressed it was irrelevant, from story telling, character interactions, world building, and fighting scenes it was all very interesting looking forward to the story progression thank you author!

Asura707
Asura707Lv12

When you say the romance will be slow does that mean it will start from around the 400s to 500s or it won't really happen until the end of the novel?

Entrail_JI:MC isn't intentionally trying to get close to female characters. Melissa exception, cause he needed potions. The romance will be slow, and I will try my best to make it as natural and fluent as possible. Meaning that there won't be any damsel in distress type of scenarios. I will try to make it as natural as possible.
Cultreevation
CultreevationLv10

Well most authors don't vote twice for their own story....

Entrail_JI
Entrail_JIAuthor

That's because most other authors don't create a whole section dedicated to answering the reader's questions.

Cultreevation:Well most authors don't vote twice for their own story....
Cultreevation
CultreevationLv10

Absolutely true xD. Most just translate some stuff and post that. Ah well and at some point drop it, because otherwise it would be boring.

Entrail_JI:That's because most other authors don't create a whole section dedicated to answering the reader's questions.
KAstral
KAstralLv12

.

Cerealord
CerealordLv1

I have zero complaints about your story though I doubt I am a qualified enough person to judge it in the first place.

burndabus
burndabusLv2

ok so probably going against public opinion with this one but... please... DONT make it a harem, I would rather have the mc not even have a love interest, assuming the end is an expected (going back into the real world and fixing the novel cuz he wouldn't even stay with her) it would be kinda ironic Aswell as in the 1st chapter its mentioned that writing "fan service" was uncomfortable for ren. I get people are horn-e and will ask for it but pleassssssse dont make it a romance novel in disguise, people can read in the genre if they want (im just super biased against harems because it ruins stories to much, its 'possible' to have a good one but reallllly hard, you're the author tho so do what you want, your successful with it so you probably know more than me) that aside I REALLY like how the power scaling and how takes a lot of effort to move up even one grade, although Ren knows the secrets it's not like a cheat in most novels, a lot of effort to continue and that's a really good part done well.

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