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GoddessEmpressBirdLv127mth
2024-06-29 08:13

love most of it so far I don't like how author is trying to maybe setup a Harem. PLZ NO HAREM PLZ NO HAREM PLZ NO HAREM PLZ NO HAREM PLZ NO HAREM PLZ NO HAREM PLZ NO HAREM PLZ NO HAREM PLZ NO HAREM PLZ NO HAREM PLZ NO HAREM PLZ NO HAREM

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TheKindlyGentlemanLv6

Even Ignoring the fact that you can't train occlumecy without the assistance of a legilimens, that you can't successfully train controlled Magic until the age of 11, that occlumecy and legilimency take years to train to novice mastery, let alone the full mastery required to augment ones memories, that training one martial art to full mastery requires at least half a decade of dedicated work, let alone 4-8 martial arts with only semi-dedication, that you can't learn magical spells based upon what you've learned from movies and books from another life taught with the use of a wand in mind, wandlessly. Ignoring all of that, creating a character that is so Overpowered before Canon even starts, such that at his current rate of progression he will never be in danger at any point in the story, makes for a horribly boring and bland tale indeed. This is complete wish fulfillment, it is not at all realistic even for fantasy fiction. what's more the grammar while decent enough to read is still below average and often repetitive. all in all I recommend the author is clear and concise with whatever point they may be trying to get across, that they describe the environment around the character more often and in more detail, that they stop giving written diatribes of what the character plans to do and more of what they are currently doing, that they make the character face danger and adversity more often and that the character is given more of a personality, with faults and quirks and that the character is not so strong so fast, AT MOST they should be at the level of a third year at the end of the first year.

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