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ColdFenix
ColdFenixLv610mth
2024-04-02 08:20

It starts pretty good and fast paced, although the MC's rapid progress doesn't have a great explanation and feels unjustified. But the big problem comes the moment he starts at Hogwarts. The story just slows down to a crawl with unnecessary excruciatingly detailed explanations of every little thing the MC does. 50 chapters of nothing interesting happening and little to no progress in the story becomes normal. The MC also seems to also loose his motivations to become stronger like protecting his family or changing the wizard world to stop discrimination and he basically becomes a normal slightly more talented student who doesn't train much and barely has any progress in his abilities. If you want to read a slice of life novel without much action in the HP world you might still like this one but if you expect anything to happen you will probably be dissapointed.

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TheKindlyGentleman
TheKindlyGentlemanLv6

Even Ignoring the fact that you can't train occlumecy without the assistance of a legilimens, that you can't successfully train controlled Magic until the age of 11, that occlumecy and legilimency take years to train to novice mastery, let alone the full mastery required to augment ones memories, that training one martial art to full mastery requires at least half a decade of dedicated work, let alone 4-8 martial arts with only semi-dedication, that you can't learn magical spells based upon what you've learned from movies and books from another life taught with the use of a wand in mind, wandlessly. Ignoring all of that, creating a character that is so Overpowered before Canon even starts, such that at his current rate of progression he will never be in danger at any point in the story, makes for a horribly boring and bland tale indeed. This is complete wish fulfillment, it is not at all realistic even for fantasy fiction. what's more the grammar while decent enough to read is still below average and often repetitive. all in all I recommend the author is clear and concise with whatever point they may be trying to get across, that they describe the environment around the character more often and in more detail, that they stop giving written diatribes of what the character plans to do and more of what they are currently doing, that they make the character face danger and adversity more often and that the character is given more of a personality, with faults and quirks and that the character is not so strong so fast, AT MOST they should be at the level of a third year at the end of the first year.

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