webnovel
NxtDoorDuDE
NxtDoorDuDELv53yr
2022-02-11 20:47

what should I say... Starting of story was good but gone down to drain later. I mean a planet level inflated to universe level. And it's inflated very fast in fight with marines was alright as you put in supposed to be but then, well I nothing else to say as writer's imagination. Your writing quality was better than me so 5-star so for speed of updating. Character design was good but not on full potential. Story development was good until just before end. I am not criticizing you but in good stories we don't inflat story like this. There is many stories where introduce bigger world then he was writing but that thing take process not like here where we just dump info at once. For future, please introduce bigger world step by step, like planet to solar system to star system to galaxy...

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Master4thWall
Master4thWallAuthor

Interesting statement, but I disagree because of the context here. Your statement would have been perfect, if this was an original novel. But this is a Fan Fiction, to its core. I can't, step by step, move away from the One Piece world and slowly increase the power level, as at that point nothing of 'One Piece' would remain. That's just another novel of its own, right?

NxtDoorDuDE
NxtDoorDuDELv5

Yes, I totally agree with this is a fanfic. Pace was good then face of story changed like flick of coin. It fanfic so author can do whatever he wants. It just my opinion that this flick just brock the rhythm.

Master4thWall:Interesting statement, but I disagree because of the context here. Your statement would have been perfect, if this was an original novel. But this is a Fan Fiction, to its core. I can't, step by step, move away from the One Piece world and slowly increase the power level, as at that point nothing of 'One Piece' would remain. That's just another novel of its own, right?
Other Reviews
Klazy_Labbit
Klazy_LabbitLv5

Author totally didn't force me....... That aside, the book which currently has 21 chapters is coming along well. One piece fics are quite common but ones with mc of different race is not. Joker started it with his mc as a fishmen and wall here started as a skypiean. Writing Quality- Now the writing quality is pretty decent by webnovel standards and other than minor errors, it is pretty good but can be improved. Word count of each chapter is decent with each being 1500+. Stability- I give this five stars as long as author follows schedule they set whatever it may be but wall even offers bonus chapters which is always welcome. Story Development- Story development as of now is slow paced. Mc doesn't grow op quickly and slowly amasses power. While there are timeskips,they are small ones. We slowly explore the world through mc and see him progress which is refreshing when many compared power fantasy fics here. Character Design- The protagonist, Amon is an interesting character. He is a manipulative guy who is power hungry but he is not the cold type. He acts only when something benefits him but also enjoys what he is doing. His interactions with other characters are done well and overall he is an intriguing character. Coming to the side characters, I feel this is where the story takes a hit. The characters appear fine when they interact with mc but appear kinda stiff when on their own. I feel characters can be fleshed out a bit more and since the story is slow paced, there is plenty of room for improvement. World Background- I wouldn't bother much about world background for fanfics but wall has good knowledge of the source and lore. He explains things well and has done a good job exploring the skypieans and the shandia tribe. Overall a pretty decent fic which has gotten off to a good start and has the potential to be better.

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