This is less of a review, more of a first impression as I have read 20+ chapters while writing it. So my opinion might be incomplete. I apologize if something like that happens and would like others to correct me. I would like to start by thanking the author for his hard work and for such an amazing story. It has been quite a long time since I have read a web/light novel with a grounded and realistic MC as well as a well-built world setting. The story started with brief background information on how it all started and necessary information about different levels. It was a nice touch and magnificently done. I liked the temperament of MC. He is intelligent yet has the thought process of 13 years old. He is responsible but doesn't give the feeling of an old man in a young boy's body. His reaction to gaining his sight back, his way to deal with money, or his reaction to his current situation is all realistic, at least as realistic as it can be in a fantasy world. He is not like a typical LN/WN MC who thinks "I am gonna murder this guy's three-generation because he disrespected me by making fun of me" not is he a pushover. He handled his situation like a mature person with a hint of teenage flair (talking about that Middle-finger scene). Overall he is a pretty likable character. The magic system seems pretty simple and easy to follow. I don't have to check again and again which level is after what. The world setting is good so far, not too confusing. The pacing of the story is good so far. It is not going too slow or too fast. But I think there is some space to improve regarding these topics. So far I have talked about the good things of the story. Now let's talk about the things that can be improved. First thing, Proofreading. The story is mostly well written. But there are quite a few mistakes in grammar and sentence making that could have been avoided with a more round of checking. The number and frequency are not that high but still, it hinders the immersion. Next, supporting character development. If first 22 chapter is any indication, I think the author should spend a bit more time developing supporting/minor characters. We have only 1 noticeable supporting character till chapter 23 and it's Greg. He is hinted to be a main supporting cast and good friend of MC. But do we know anything about him other than he is rich and talented? We don't know anything about Greg as a person or feel connected to him. If it is solved in the latter part of the story then it's ok. However, I think it should have been much sooner. The world-building and background description are also much to be desired. For example, it helps the readers to visualize if you give a brief description of the Room MC is living in or the market and its shops when he went out shopping. Maybe a bit more description about people and environment when he went out for the first time after his sight was back. this would have helped us feel connected to the MC more. This part is some selfish request as a reader. Please keep the MC realistic and relatable like this. Don't make him like a thousand other MC whose improvement doesn't follow any logic or common sense. I am still miffed about that 120 points in the practical exam. MC has been blind and malnourished throughout his all life. Moreover, He doesn't exercise or haven't practiced the practical part at all. Suddenly 5 days after getting his sight back, He is using martial arts routine accurately and smoothly. And in these 5 days, he had to gather mana for the exam, learn how to read and write, prepare for the theoretical part of the exam and go out sightseeing. It is almost physically impossible for him to do this properly, no matter how easy the routine was. The craziest part is he got more points than Greg who is practicing longer than MC, has better development, and seems like a genius in martial arts. Please don't do things like this. Don't throw logic out of the window to bring sudden growth to MC or sudden character development. Please introduce a romantic interest but not a harem please. we have more than enough harem plot on this site. what we are lacking is a meaningful, non-harem romance. Please fill that void.
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Thanks for your great and long review :D. I agree with your points and the main problem that occurred to me while writing was, that I began to release my chapters in the naive thinking that this novel will end as a flop xD. Never would I have imagined that I grow to such an extent and because of that some small plotholes (Like 120 points in his practical exam). With this I wanted the readers to notice how compatible his mana eyes with their ability to see the mana flow are with martial art techniques. Furthermore, he only repeated one sequence of a [Spoiler] tierless technique and I thought training it perfectly within a few day might demonstrate his superiority in a disguised way. About proofreading, I already edited everything that seemed off, but I was most likely too impatient because I had already around 80 chapters uploaded to that time. Fixing everything completely will take some time and school is much more important than writing right now because I´m about to finish school in the next few months. I want that my novel is still filled with some plot holes and grammar errors that might hinder a smooth reading process, but I only started writing novels slightly more than 2 months ago in a foreign language :D. Thank you once again for your long and helpful review :3
Thank you for taking your time to read my review and sharing your view about it. It means a lot to me. You have valid points and it's very understandable that you will have some issues/plotholes considering this is your first work. You never learn if you don't make mistakes ;). It's more amazing that you are doing it besides your studies and in a foreign language too. Good luck with your studies and exam. Regarding proofreading, how about using your readers? Webnovel has this amazing feature where you can comment directly on a paragraph. if someone notices editing/spelling mistakes, they can always point that out. It will be much easier for you to go through 10 comments instead of combing through 10 chapters. Also, it increases the engagement of your story. Food for your thought. In the meantime, thank you for your amazing work, and keep it up. I will be cheering you on. Thank you for your reply and best of luck with your studies.
HideousGrain:Thanks for your great and long review :D. I agree with your points and the main problem that occurred to me while writing was, that I began to release my chapters in the naive thinking that this novel will end as a flop xD. Never would I have imagined that I grow to such an extent and because of that some small plotholes (Like 120 points in his practical exam). With this I wanted the readers to notice how compatible his mana eyes with their ability to see the mana flow are with martial art techniques. Furthermore, he only repeated one sequence of a [Spoiler] tierless technique and I thought training it perfectly within a few day might demonstrate his superiority in a disguised way. About proofreading, I already edited everything that seemed off, but I was most likely too impatient because I had already around 80 chapters uploaded to that time. Fixing everything completely will take some time and school is much more important than writing right now because I´m about to finish school in the next few months. I want that my novel is still filled with some plot holes and grammar errors that might hinder a smooth reading process, but I only started writing novels slightly more than 2 months ago in a foreign language :D. Thank you once again for your long and helpful review :3
I´m already trying to use the comments to edit everything, but with the flood of comments, I receive daily some helpful remarks might have been washed away. Normally I read through all comments, but in the last few days, I have to skip through them, because answering all of them consumes too much time. Once I finish school, I´ll probably edit everything more throughout. Thanks for your cheering :D Reviews and comments like yours motivate me :3
MadHatter0_o:Thank you for taking your time to read my review and sharing your view about it. It means a lot to me. You have valid points and it's very understandable that you will have some issues/plotholes considering this is your first work. You never learn if you don't make mistakes ;). It's more amazing that you are doing it besides your studies and in a foreign language too. Good luck with your studies and exam. Regarding proofreading, how about using your readers? Webnovel has this amazing feature where you can comment directly on a paragraph. if someone notices editing/spelling mistakes, they can always point that out. It will be much easier for you to go through 10 comments instead of combing through 10 chapters. Also, it increases the engagement of your story. Food for your thought. In the meantime, thank you for your amazing work, and keep it up. I will be cheering you on. Thank you for your reply and best of luck with your studies.
thoroughly*(Stupid me) x)
HideousGrain:I´m already trying to use the comments to edit everything, but with the flood of comments, I receive daily some helpful remarks might have been washed away. Normally I read through all comments, but in the last few days, I have to skip through them, because answering all of them consumes too much time. Once I finish school, I´ll probably edit everything more throughout. Thanks for your cheering :D Reviews and comments like yours motivate me :3
Your review, you are trying to make the book you want, if you want it to be without harem, you will create your own book, if you want without the MC to be the op, you will create your own novel, stop trying to impose your ideas on other books
Thank you for at least going through the whole review. Now politeness aside, your short comment has so many wrong things that it's nothing but a pointless tantrum. 1. I said it's less review more first impression. Still, I tried to be as detailed as possible and as technical as a proper review where I talked about existing problems or things that can be improved. Almost The entire review was full of that. Only the last paragraph had my preferences in it. 2. "This is my first novel, please bear that in mind. I appreciate all kinds of sincere advice and comments." This is the author's comment in the last line of the synopsis. As a first-time author, he needs feedback as well as an idea of what his audience want. I can't say anything for a larger demographic. I can only speak for myself. So, I made my likes and dislikes. Following it is the author's personal choice. I am not holding a gun to his head. I just followed his request. 3. Your comment about writing my own book is nothing short of stupid. If you want a phone, you don't make it. You buy it. And you know what they do when you buy it? Ask for a review of the product AND ask you what you are looking for in the next product or what you are missing in the current product. Literature is itself a kind of product and readers are customers. There is no fault in asking for what I want. It's within my right as a reader as the author has his right to ignore it. It is not imposing. 4. Lastly, considering the author has replied to my review, that means he has read my review and if he thought I was imposing he has plenty of chance to state that. I think you are trying to impose YOUR ideals on others here, not me. I wouldn't have bothered to reply and start a petty argument but I thought I would answer properly once so people like you don't start spouting baseless blame-game.
Dash_zoinm:Your review, you are trying to make the book you want, if you want it to be without harem, you will create your own book, if you want without the MC to be the op, you will create your own novel, stop trying to impose your ideas on other books
I have honestly never seen such bad grammar in just a few sentences. Also (from what i can tell) the reviewer was just saying his opinion. He said he would be selfish after giving his review. And with your grammar I am seriously doubting how much of the review you could actually read. How is it that an Author writing in his secong language is better than you. And if this is your second language then I pity whoevers paying for your lessons.
Dash_zoinm:Your review, you are trying to make the book you want, if you want it to be without harem, you will create your own book, if you want without the MC to be the op, you will create your own novel, stop trying to impose your ideas on other books
Personally idm him being able to replicate techniques and all in nonsensically small amounts of time, I get that he can see the mana flow and all so it is easy for him, however showing that his battle sense is lacking and reducing him to basically artillery would have been more realistic.
HideousGrain:Thanks for your great and long review :D. I agree with your points and the main problem that occurred to me while writing was, that I began to release my chapters in the naive thinking that this novel will end as a flop xD. Never would I have imagined that I grow to such an extent and because of that some small plotholes (Like 120 points in his practical exam). With this I wanted the readers to notice how compatible his mana eyes with their ability to see the mana flow are with martial art techniques. Furthermore, he only repeated one sequence of a [Spoiler] tierless technique and I thought training it perfectly within a few day might demonstrate his superiority in a disguised way. About proofreading, I already edited everything that seemed off, but I was most likely too impatient because I had already around 80 chapters uploaded to that time. Fixing everything completely will take some time and school is much more important than writing right now because I´m about to finish school in the next few months. I want that my novel is still filled with some plot holes and grammar errors that might hinder a smooth reading process, but I only started writing novels slightly more than 2 months ago in a foreign language :D. Thank you once again for your long and helpful review :3
Well said
MadHatter0_o:Thank you for at least going through the whole review. Now politeness aside, your short comment has so many wrong things that it's nothing but a pointless tantrum. 1. I said it's less review more first impression. Still, I tried to be as detailed as possible and as technical as a proper review where I talked about existing problems or things that can be improved. Almost The entire review was full of that. Only the last paragraph had my preferences in it. 2. "This is my first novel, please bear that in mind. I appreciate all kinds of sincere advice and comments." This is the author's comment in the last line of the synopsis. As a first-time author, he needs feedback as well as an idea of what his audience want. I can't say anything for a larger demographic. I can only speak for myself. So, I made my likes and dislikes. Following it is the author's personal choice. I am not holding a gun to his head. I just followed his request. 3. Your comment about writing my own book is nothing short of stupid. If you want a phone, you don't make it. You buy it. And you know what they do when you buy it? Ask for a review of the product AND ask you what you are looking for in the next product or what you are missing in the current product. Literature is itself a kind of product and readers are customers. There is no fault in asking for what I want. It's within my right as a reader as the author has his right to ignore it. It is not imposing. 4. Lastly, considering the author has replied to my review, that means he has read my review and if he thought I was imposing he has plenty of chance to state that. I think you are trying to impose YOUR ideals on others here, not me. I wouldn't have bothered to reply and start a petty argument but I thought I would answer properly once so people like you don't start spouting baseless blame-game.
hi author just wanna ask, will there be any romance or harem in story?
HideousGrain:thoroughly*(Stupid me) x)
I read this review and gave it a shot, I made it to chapter 19 before I could not go on. This review was miss leading, in my opinion. The MC started as a mature, smart 13 years old kid, all was good. By chapter 19 he was the average stupid MC that makes stupid decisions and lacks proper thought process, compared to his previous intelligence and far worse than a mature child. Spent 10 years cultivating his eyes so he can see to the exclusion of EVERYTHING else, other than studying he didn't have friends, he didnt eat properly (and he has more than enough money), he didn't live in a proper apartment (100 credits a month, he later moved to a new place that cost 2500 a month), he didn't have fun, he didnt have hobbies, he simply did not do anything else, He spent all his free time on his eyes that he did not cultivate his core so he was far behind all others in his age group (like being blind was not enough of a weakness) and when he can finally see and cultivate? 2 hours he spent to go up one level than didn't bother again for days (or so it seems, maybe its done in the "background" but again going from level 1 to 2 took two hours so going days without further increase is unlikely) And unfortunately there are more examples.
I read this review, I instantly read the book cause it's bound to have been great if someone could write such a long review about this book.
Looks like a paid review. I can smell it.
LOL. I wish it was paid. would have made some money in this hard time. get your nose checked by ENT specialist. your smell sense is all wrong. No paid reviewer would ever give 3.5 star to a review and no author with a working brain would pay for a review like mine. you are trying to read a review by smelling, that's the problem. next time try eyes and brain. 😉
OnePun:Looks like a paid review. I can smell it.
not necessarily. I wrote this much because I can't seem to shorten things. as for whether it is a good book or not, depends on your taste. give it a try and see whether you like it or not. personally I enjoyed it myself. you might have the same experience as me or might not.
Alferian:I read this review, I instantly read the book cause it's bound to have been great if someone could write such a long review about this book.
Are you sure on your point about the story's grammar? Just the synopsis alone is a cesspool of grammatical errors.
I didn't take synopsis into consideration when writing the review. Also I didn't say there aren't Grammar mistakes. the reason I didn't make a big thing out of it is that author is not a native English speaker and this is his first novel. taken that into account the spelling grammar mistakes aren't that many and it gradually improves. I have to clarify that my expectation bar isn't set that high after reading some really bad writing. compared to those this is kinda Shakespeare's work.
AppleyGod:Are you sure on your point about the story's grammar? Just the synopsis alone is a cesspool of grammatical errors.
hhh
to write this long review with such detail. (auth with fake id is sure working hard.
Can you give me an insight into mc's character? is he smart, cold, doesn't trust anyone, and a good planner, or is he just a little smart kid who has a problem with feelings, trusts everyone, and is cute with everyone?
OnePun:to write this long review with such detail. (auth with fake id is sure working hard.
