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William_LitschLv113yr
2021-05-13 20:09

The story jumps and skips around randomly. In the middle of things it always, ALWAYS, jumps away so that nothing ever feels satisfying. This is exactly the worst way to write a book. The MC, meanwhile, is a total beta. He's the kind of guy that would watch his girlfriend get f*cked because somebody asked him politely. He's led around by the nose by the author. The greatest proof that he's just a follower is that he is constantly getting bullied by the author to go here or do that without any rhyme or reason, and he does it even though his own character should have chosen something else. That's the problem. Never once does this character make a judgement that he would have made on his own and stuck with it. He's just the authors puppet.

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Replies8
DukeDrollLv1

Geez, your review just shows how dumb you are tbh. The story jumps for a reason idiot. And what do you mean satisfying? Its a method to create some tension for what's next to come alright. Not every MC was born with a golden spoon and is in his edgy teenage phase where he kills every other person he sees in sight and catches females like pokemon. Character development is something that exists for a reason unless you want a story that gets repetative.

Shadow_ImmortalsLv1

The story is really good it's just that you are too much of an idiot to see that

F_E_X_ALv11

"Story is too hard to understand help……" "Weak-to-strong doesn't happen within the 1st chapter, HELP……" "MC can't become saitama and one tapped every conflict(?!!) 1 Star..."

TanialLv13

man i totally agree

DaoistArboreLv14

Artificial tension is exactly that, artificial. Don’t give someone a pizza and then tell them they have to run through a maze to eat it…that’s just boring

DukeDroll:Geez, your review just shows how dumb you are tbh. The story jumps for a reason idiot. And what do you mean satisfying? Its a method to create some tension for what's next to come alright. Not every MC was born with a golden spoon and is in his edgy teenage phase where he kills every other person he sees in sight and catches females like pokemon. Character development is something that exists for a reason unless you want a story that gets repetative.
DaoistArboreLv14

Who even brought up that dumpster fire of a story one punch man? There’s more options between drama than just using game of thrones or one punch man as the only two choices

F_E_X_A:"Story is too hard to understand help……" "Weak-to-strong doesn't happen within the 1st chapter, HELP……" "MC can't become saitama and one tapped every conflict(?!!) 1 Star..."
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TepiotaLv4

Your comment is dumb on so many levels. Are you a new reader?

DukeDroll:Geez, your review just shows how dumb you are tbh. The story jumps for a reason idiot. And what do you mean satisfying? Its a method to create some tension for what's next to come alright. Not every MC was born with a golden spoon and is in his edgy teenage phase where he kills every other person he sees in sight and catches females like pokemon. Character development is something that exists for a reason unless you want a story that gets repetative.
KnytbladeLv14

Your comment shows exactly how dumb you are. There are methods to create tension in the story without making dumb decisions. Character development is when a character develops organically to his surroundings and situations as per the development of the story. Whimsically changing the character without rhyme or reason and making uncharacteristic decisions is just haphazard work, which is exactly what is happening here. The only thing that's consistent about the MC is how inconsistent, he is.

DukeDroll:Geez, your review just shows how dumb you are tbh. The story jumps for a reason idiot. And what do you mean satisfying? Its a method to create some tension for what's next to come alright. Not every MC was born with a golden spoon and is in his edgy teenage phase where he kills every other person he sees in sight and catches females like pokemon. Character development is something that exists for a reason unless you want a story that gets repetative.
Other Reviews
TheScaredOneLv14
MellowGuyAuthor

The author is reviewing himself, I know it's biased but one review wouldn't hurt. Plus, I'm here to give you an extra overview of the novel. English is not my first language, and I would like to apologize for any mistakes you might see. I have been writing this for almost a month, and there (currently) 47 chapters, so you can see the stability of the updates. I try to update once a day and would update more if this novel gets the top rankings (hopefully, fingers crossed). I spent most of my time on the character design and giving them depth, while also minding the originality of my novel. I don't know if I'm going the right path, but I wish you enjoy this journey no matter what. As a summary of the world, it's an age of modern magic. There are dungeons but there also magic gunmen, flying ships, and other feats of magic technology. The world is filled with dungeons and hidden dangers, and the purpose of them would be explained later down the line. The unique thing about my novel is legacies. They are contracts that transcend time and space between two people, one alive and one dead. The dead ones of the past leave a part of their will (soul) and powers in return of asking for something. The protagonist isn't the only one who have this, many do. Our protagonist, however, has a young legacy that let's him increase his strength (stats). I wrote this novel after reading many of this genre, hoping to make one that doesn't lack what others lacked, hoping for a new fun novel to emerge into the world. I'm still a newbie author, and I wish for everyone's guidance. Let's have fun together!

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