webnovel
ElectricDragonKing
ElectricDragonKingLv56yr
2019-02-15 02:12

Writing quality: rip tenses. Some verbs are not conjugated properly. Choice of words seems stiff at times. However, the novel is more than readable Stability of updating: I have no complaints on this. The author updates frequently and seems to have the will to complete his/her novel. Story development: I like how the story is panning out in the beginning. He was forced to remove his pieces because the betrayal he experienced changed something on it and on the process of fixing this, he met new people that will help him get in terms of the things done to him. However on the latest chapters, IMO the author shouldn’t just willy nilly add characters just to be a harem member for the main character. Especially in the latest one(c27ish), the mc had an amnesia for using his power in order to survive and the author added another women instantly. I wouldn’t mind a large harem(im not into them but you do you author) but introduce them gradually and with proper background info. Adding to this, I really don’t like NTR even if the soft kind(there are NO sexual relations between old harem and new asshole boyfriends(c27)) but that’s the premise and that won’t change. However, the mc should still be a bit paranoid, even though he can “trust” the new harem now, so it will be realistic. You don’t just get over multiple cheating for a few months. Character design: This is only for the new ones. As I said before, don’t just add characters for his harem. It isn’t that fun to read people meeting and falling in love in 1 chapter. I don’t feel “involved” in their romance iykwim. Like the twin dragons, their meeting is really arbitrary and I feel like they’re not developed as characters because they don’t have a decent background. World background: I mean this novel is inspired by HSDxD so I don’t think it’s relevant to include this rating. Conclusion: I’m enjoying your novel author, however there are some issues that would make this even better if fixed IMO. I hope you take some of these ideas to heart for the improvement of your novel and thank you for writing this.

Liked by 17 people

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Replies8
FinzRaizer
FinzRaizerLv11

Well actually in Evenicle, that just that easy to get the main harem member while not main female got raped .... just try check original Eroge XD though i'm not sure why, maybe almost girl in that world rarely see honest guy and lack romantic knowledge ? Though manga and pron still exist

Leixein
LeixeinAuthor

Im thankful for your review and yeah on the twin dragon its kinda arbitrary but i want to skip their development a little bit by using the dragon attracted to the strong and pure plot armor. I was rushing it on that part but most of the girls on evenicle rarely have good guy as their partner. So i exploit that fact a bit, its gonna probably have lack developments on some part but hey i have done my best. This is my 1st novel in my entire life after all so once again thank you for the review. U have put some thoughts on ur review so i reply in kind. Cheers 👍

Martial_daoist
Martial_daoistLv15

Its good

SlothElephant2k18
SlothElephant2k18Lv13

Yeah right...

SlothElephant2k18
SlothElephant2k18Lv13

Where can you download it?

FinzRaizer:Well actually in Evenicle, that just that easy to get the main harem member while not main female got raped .... just try check original Eroge XD though i'm not sure why, maybe almost girl in that world rarely see honest guy and lack romantic knowledge ? Though manga and pron still exist
FinzRaizer
FinzRaizerLv11

Sukebei nyaa si ( Torrent Download) or you can paid at Steam

SlothElephant2k18:Where can you download it?
Mandiiyy
MandiiyyLv13

Can anyone suggest me similar dxd fanfic where he was betrayed by the girls

Decimation
DecimationLv5

thank you

Leixein:Im thankful for your review and yeah on the twin dragon its kinda arbitrary but i want to skip their development a little bit by using the dragon attracted to the strong and pure plot armor. I was rushing it on that part but most of the girls on evenicle rarely have good guy as their partner. So i exploit that fact a bit, its gonna probably have lack developments on some part but hey i have done my best. This is my 1st novel in my entire life after all so once again thank you for the review. U have put some thoughts on ur review so i reply in kind. Cheers 👍
Other Reviews
AsianLadyBoy
AsianLadyBoyLv13

I love this fanfic. For those of you guys that are hesitating because it has NTR in the description, don't. Like the author said the girls don't f*** the other guys, so it's not that bad. Think of this fanfic as an alternate reality/alternate universe. In the original they lived happily ever after, and in this one they just didn't. If you don't want to hate the original girls, then you should probably not read it because you will. The MC will rebuild his Harem with different women from different worlds. As he trains to get stronger and stronger. The only thing I don't like about the novel. Is when he goes to different worlds, it just takes too got dam long. I understand that the author is trying to build relationships with the future harem members. And like the author said, hes trying not to make it look like the MC is a Pokemon Master. That's just throwing poke balls at the women in capturing them. It's just that he's in a different world chapter after chapter after chapter. Overtime it just doesn't feel like a DxD fanfic anymore. As soon as he starts traveling to different worlds, he goes to one world after another and never really goes back. The author was doing a good job at throwing in dialogue of the DxD world. Like updating us on what was going on with in the DxD world with the MC's disappearance. But so far it seems like he's just hasn't done it since the past couple chapters, and it has sort of lost the DxD fanfic Vibe for me. For me personally I would love less erotic chapters like describing how they're having *** for a whole two chapters. And have less chapters of each World he's traveling to. And throw in more information on whats going on in the DxD world. Another thing is that I don't like that the other DxD characters know about what happened and they hate what the girls did to the MC. But they don't want to punish the girls because they don't want them to suffer, punish them a little bit. Like make the angle a fallen angle. That would have been great. But not much punishment has happened, which is BS in my book. But other than that I love it.

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