webnovel
JONRED
JONREDLv36yr
2019-01-14 14:55

So good start little dark made me want to read more so i can find the redemption/evolution of the MC thinking to myself the author has it all planned out....such foolish thoughts.The MC not only does not get any good justice but he is a cuck so beware of neotare elements.The story goes from dark to wanna be comedy its painfull but what is more painfull is that the author has not single thing planned out and keeps adding **** as the story goes on.So to recap story slow and dragged,MC has no memories from his life but is also a reincarneted person from earth(our earth not this world)who also has no memories from earth as well...has some power sealed thats not usefull and somehow gets another power that makes his seal not matter at all(i hope it makes sense cause trust me in the story it doesnt).And the world(oh man)is unknown just some info drops about its history about the races and the story takes place in a prison cave thats like big(convinient to the author who doesnt know how big even himself)where vampires somehow are slaves and have seals that prevent the use of THE WAY( i **** you not that was the term he uses lmfao)and somehow there are guards but it doesnt even feel like a prison.So i hope i saved you guys some time well spent.

Liked by 41 people

LIKE
Replies24
Anone
AnoneAuthor

Okay seriously. Could you at least give me a benefit of the doubt, and read further. Jesus! You've made me seem like a complete fool. But I'll give an explanation to you, like I've given to everyone else who has doubted. You're not wrong, at the earlier points of the novel, my pacing, world building, and character development was trashy. But by then I was a new writer and practically had no idea what I was doing. But I had people who helped me, they saw the potential in my novel, and gave me advice. They helped me better, they helped make my story better. If you're complaining about the first 50 or so chapters, then yes I agree with, it sucks. But I did better, learnt from my mistakes, and tried to save the novel, I'm happy to say I succeeded. So please give both me and my novel a chance to prove that we're not as useless as we think we are. Keep on reading please, you won't regret it. And if you do get to a point where you change your mind, please give a better review. Either way thanks for reading 😁😁😁

Bartzabel
BartzabelLv11

Yeah... Gus is pretty deminic, and after the breaking of the 4th wall, there aren't very many jokes, and it get nore towards the aspect of killing everyone who stands in your way and ruking literally millions of vampires.

Anone:Okay seriously. Could you at least give me a benefit of the doubt, and read further. Jesus! You've made me seem like a complete fool. But I'll give an explanation to you, like I've given to everyone else who has doubted. You're not wrong, at the earlier points of the novel, my pacing, world building, and character development was trashy. But by then I was a new writer and practically had no idea what I was doing. But I had people who helped me, they saw the potential in my novel, and gave me advice. They helped me better, they helped make my story better. If you're complaining about the first 50 or so chapters, then yes I agree with, it sucks. But I did better, learnt from my mistakes, and tried to save the novel, I'm happy to say I succeeded. So please give both me and my novel a chance to prove that we're not as useless as we think we are. Keep on reading please, you won't regret it. And if you do get to a point where you change your mind, please give a better review. Either way thanks for reading 😁😁😁
veinglory
veingloryLv4

A review doesn’t matter much to me one way or they other — but an author having a tantrum about a review puts me off

Space_Fox
Space_FoxLv13

I'm a simple man~ I see "netorare", I quit

SleepyReading
SleepyReadingLv3

That’s so stupid... “yeah you’re right the first 50 chapter sucks, but hey I got better so how about you read some more after that cuz I improved a bit! xD” Seriously? You expect people to read over 50 chapters before it’s not ****? Then you complain that people aren’t giving you enough chances?

GardenDevil
GardenDevilLv6

i haven't read this novel yet but seeing the reviews are making me doubt if i should read it. Also, the first 50 chapters are what catches your readers interest not something you compel them to read. From a readers perspective, if the quality of first 50 chapters are low how can we expect the succeding chapters to have better quality if the first 50 chapters quality are already low? No matter how much you improved in the succeding chapters, it wont do you any good if your readers stop reading in the first 50 chapters. i suggest you edit or rewrite it to fix the errors, plot holes or any you deem an error. please pardon me if my words offended or hurt your feelings i am simply expressing my opinion. english is not my native language

Anone:Okay seriously. Could you at least give me a benefit of the doubt, and read further. Jesus! You've made me seem like a complete fool. But I'll give an explanation to you, like I've given to everyone else who has doubted. You're not wrong, at the earlier points of the novel, my pacing, world building, and character development was trashy. But by then I was a new writer and practically had no idea what I was doing. But I had people who helped me, they saw the potential in my novel, and gave me advice. They helped me better, they helped make my story better. If you're complaining about the first 50 or so chapters, then yes I agree with, it sucks. But I did better, learnt from my mistakes, and tried to save the novel, I'm happy to say I succeeded. So please give both me and my novel a chance to prove that we're not as useless as we think we are. Keep on reading please, you won't regret it. And if you do get to a point where you change your mind, please give a better review. Either way thanks for reading 😁😁😁
Anone
AnoneAuthor

Sorry, didn't mean to come off that way, it's just that words hurt.

veinglory:A review doesn’t matter much to me one way or they other — but an author having a tantrum about a review puts me off
Anone
AnoneAuthor

To be honest, 50 chapters is just an estimate. I didn't suck for that long, I would have rewritten the novel by then.

SleepyReading:That’s so stupid... “yeah you’re right the first 50 chapter sucks, but hey I got better so how about you read some more after that cuz I improved a bit! xD” Seriously? You expect people to read over 50 chapters before it’s not ****? Then you complain that people aren’t giving you enough chances?
Anone
AnoneAuthor

I understand, but 50 chapters is really just an estimate, all I can say is that u should give it a shot, and if it's not for you, try my other novels. They came after this, so dare I say it, they're a whole lot more interesting.

GardenDevil:i haven't read this novel yet but seeing the reviews are making me doubt if i should read it. Also, the first 50 chapters are what catches your readers interest not something you compel them to read. From a readers perspective, if the quality of first 50 chapters are low how can we expect the succeding chapters to have better quality if the first 50 chapters quality are already low? No matter how much you improved in the succeding chapters, it wont do you any good if your readers stop reading in the first 50 chapters. i suggest you edit or rewrite it to fix the errors, plot holes or any you deem an error. please pardon me if my words offended or hurt your feelings i am simply expressing my opinion. english is not my native language
striker45
striker45Lv13

+1

Space_Fox:I'm a simple man~ I see "netorare", I quit
MerryPoppins
MerryPoppinsLv6

Thank you very much!

AvidReader962
AvidReader962Lv14

I’m willing to give this novel a shot, looking forward to the work you have put in, 👍. Though I am curious, is this novel still going or completed?

Anone:Okay seriously. Could you at least give me a benefit of the doubt, and read further. Jesus! You've made me seem like a complete fool. But I'll give an explanation to you, like I've given to everyone else who has doubted. You're not wrong, at the earlier points of the novel, my pacing, world building, and character development was trashy. But by then I was a new writer and practically had no idea what I was doing. But I had people who helped me, they saw the potential in my novel, and gave me advice. They helped me better, they helped make my story better. If you're complaining about the first 50 or so chapters, then yes I agree with, it sucks. But I did better, learnt from my mistakes, and tried to save the novel, I'm happy to say I succeeded. So please give both me and my novel a chance to prove that we're not as useless as we think we are. Keep on reading please, you won't regret it. And if you do get to a point where you change your mind, please give a better review. Either way thanks for reading 😁😁😁
Anone
AnoneAuthor

Yes it still ongoing, almost completed though. Thanks for reading

AvidReader962:I’m willing to give this novel a shot, looking forward to the work you have put in, 👍. Though I am curious, is this novel still going or completed?
AvidReader962
AvidReader962Lv14

Thank you very much for the quick response 😀👍

Anone:Yes it still ongoing, almost completed though. Thanks for reading
AutoChaos
AutoChaosLv13

Totally a prison. Guards xD. I AM THE JAIL I DONT NEED GUARDS

ShaadyJ
ShaadyJLv13

I wouldn’t call that a tantrum and you have no idea what a review like this could do to the audience, maybe you and the 12 other people who like your comment don’t care about reviews, but most people would say otherwise, so if anything I understand where the author is coming from trying to make the other reviewer know that his writing got better over time. With that said, I can’t really **** with this novel, because ntr is a no go. 😅

veinglory:A review doesn’t matter much to me one way or they other — but an author having a tantrum about a review puts me off
LordFi7th
LordFi7thLv14

Netorare? That's my cue, bye bye.

LordFi7th
LordFi7thLv14

Netorare? That's my cue, bye bye.

Mans_1_Not_2_Hot_3
Mans_1_Not_2_Hot_3Lv10

Yup i was gonna read it but people said stuff about Ntr and rape which is a no no for me, the Author did say it was for character development or some sh*t but he could've did something else other than rape I hate anything dealing with rape because my mother was raped so why would I wanna read something that has rape in it.

LordFi7th:Netorare? That's my cue, bye bye.
Mans_1_Not_2_Hot_3
Mans_1_Not_2_Hot_3Lv10

Yup i was gonna read it but people said stuff about Ntr and rape which is a no no for me, the Author did say it was for character development or some sh*t but he could've did something else other than rape I hate anything dealing with rape because my mother was raped so why would I wanna read something that has rape in it.

LordFi7th:Netorare? That's my cue, bye bye.
Other Reviews
TwistedSomnus
TwistedSomnusLv15

There's a problem with the writing. The english itself is fine, but the pacing, focus, and rational are all sub-par. Pacing - There are 3 chapters before the official chapter 1 that are glossaries of terms and information about the world, and this is a definite red flag. 1) This is a terrible way to start a story. I don't want to do homework in order to read a novel for leisure. 2) If this is neccessary to understand the story, then you have failed as a writer. You need to show the audience, not tell them. That's the difference between a story and a textbook. 3) Revealing all these details is a part of storytelling. Dumping them all in the beginning simply means you can't use their revelation to further your story. Discovering things with the MC is one of the joys of reading a book, and now you've robbed us of that experience to some extent. 4) By talking about the X levels of your world and how people struggle to climb them, you not only told us the end point of your story, but informed us that we're going to have to read what is basically the same story X times. Another mystery dead and a promise of an endlessly repetitive story. Focus - You need to trim the fat. Details, such as the fact that the MC came in his pants after his first feeding, either need to be cut out or utilized to further the narrative. I believe you were attempting to show how overwhelming of an experience his first feeding was, but you didn't go into enough detail for this fact to be anything other than a distraction. You basically skimmed through the fact that he was exhausted, breezed through his emotional state, and then described in detail the tent in his pants and the stain from his ejaculation. 1 graphic detail amongst a few brief ones sticks out like a sore thumb, and just because it's about a sexual organ doesn't make your novel more "*****." Rational - "Because the information might put you in danger" is not a constructive reason to deny a amnesiac character information about THEMSELVES. That's basically saying "because the author doesn't want the audience to know." You talk about enemies and danger as if covering your eyes will somehow make them go away. All it does is render the MC helpless to avoid these dangers and force him to stumble face first into them due to ignorance.

SinfuLeeCerebral
SinfuLeeCerebralLv15

I'm about 20 chapters in as is my limit for every novel on seeing whether i will continue reading it and gauging its overall quality. I'm really liking the mixed genre of the novel and how there are so many possibilities towards growth and development. everything from Sci-fi to magick seems possible. the MC is lamentable at times though, his personality isn't very believable and can seem extremely immature. for being a prisoner he sure is lighthearted... i know he's only suppose to be 19, and that he no longer has his past memories but seeing such child like thoughts coming from him can grow annoying quickly. (is supposed to have regressed but some how knows how to be witty and talk back to the guards? lacks decorum and common sense but remembers non-sense such as actors and short phrases?) i feel like this novel could be a stellar 5 star novel if the author spent more time rereading the work for mistakes (as most of them can be easily found if the extra time was spent) and if the fourth wall wasn't broken at all. this novel really has the opportunity to be phenomenal if the serious undertones wouldn't keep getting disturbed mid flow. you have this novel that talks about the lives of others as if they're nothing and how rape and murder could happen around any corner, then out of no where (insert half remembered words or phrases. insert breaking the fourth wall.) it just completely lessens the overall quality of the novel. if author chose to rewrite this without so much nonsense and fourth wall breaking this could easily make it to the front page for weeks to come. best of luck to the author though, I'll continue to read it for a while longer to see how the author develops everything...

JavaTari
JavaTariLv4
Related Stories

Milf Hunter: Seducing And Taming Beauties

【 Warning: Mature Content R-18 】 Jack discovers an app that gives him the power to charm any woman he wants. From powerful CEOs and influential political leaders to enigmatic personal secretaries and alluring actresses, no one can resist his charm. Join Jack on an exhilarating adventure as he skillfully navigates a captivating world, effortlessly attracting alluring mercenaries, enigmatic maids, and even dangerously seductive mafia bosses, all of whom become his devoted allies. Jack's SUDIX App Profile: Name: Jack Age: 25/85 (Extra life: $1 million/year) Height: 6'2" Attributes: Stamina: 10 (Maximum) Endurance: 10 (Maximum) Charm: 10 (Maximum) Abilities: Fiery Eyes Ability: This ability allows the user (often depicted in fictional contexts) to visualize sensitive points on women's bodies, revealing areas that may elicit heightened responses or sensations. Conception Control Ability: The power to intentionally decide whether a woman gets pregnant during sexual intercourse. Lust Demon: Grants the user the power to make any woman surrender completely after one encounter if they ejaculate inside her.[This Ability also has some hidden functions ] Women: (Count of women who are under his spell) Enjoy the ride; it's going to be a wild one! Exciting New Chapters! 2 Chapters Released Daily Chapter Release Times: Chapter 1: Available Daily at 10:00 AM (GMT +8) Chapter 2: Available Daily at 9:30 PM (GMT +8) Get Ready to Dive Into the World of "Milf Hunter"! You Can Join Me on Discord https://discord.gg/cNazpAgZvt

PranjalSinghK · Urban
4.1
281 Chs

Rise To Stardom

Orphaned in the old world after taking care of his irresponsible and sick mother for years on end, Kyle finds his life turned upside down. His already dim world turns even gloomier and coupled with his trauma from losing her, Kyle felt like he had lost his purpose in life. Living day by day, akin to a soulless puppet, he struggled to keep his suicidal thoughts in check, all whilst trying to make ends meet as a cabbie. During those dark times, Kyle slowly begins to find solace in the world of music and movies. Even though it had always been there, it truly became something as a bloodline of sorts for him because, individually, both pieces of media, transported him to another world, one where he could feel happy, if even for a fleeting moment. And, as if the universe wanted even more for him, Kyle met some lovely old people, all of whom treated him as the son they never had, making him feel like he had a family after so long. This eventually, helped him let go of his trauma and turned him into the lovely soul he was always meant to be. But as fate would have it, these same people, wanted for Kyle to pursue his dreams because they saw the potential for greatness in him and the wonderous things he could go on to do, even if Kyle himself was oblivious to it. So, in an effort to make his dreams come true, they ended up gifting him a brand new chance, one that Kyle himself would only go on to realize after his untimely death in a fatal car accident. Now awake in the new world, still orphaned but with a brighter perspective on life, Kyle, armed with a System, another gift from his loved ones in the previous world, decides to take the chance to pursue his dreams of being a star, one that he was unable to pursue in his previous life due to his lack of talent. This is the story of a man who will go on to become the most versatile and renowned superstar all over the world... and it starts, just as he takes his first step into the cutthroat world of fame and fortune by registering for the popular singing reality TV competition, 'Rising Voices'. Known to be a fiercely competitive TV show, Kyle will meet with top contestants from around the world, go up against them, level up and become better, and ultimately, battle with them for the number one spot in the show as a dark horse! --- |AUTHOR NOTE| Just wanted to make it clear, that the singing competition which will be the first arc of the novel, will end around the late twenty-ish or early thirty-ish chapters. After that, you can expect so much more from the story so look forward to it! Also, although the setting is in a parallel world, all the songs, scripts and movies (although I will draw inspiration here and there), will be originals penned by yours truly (-‿◦).

Caeruleum_ · Urban
4.6
255 Chs