webnovel
JavaTari
JavaTariLv46yr
2019-01-12 17:00

Honestly it’s a decent story but it’s more of a preference thing with me. The whole perfect hero thing really doesn’t sit well with me. For gods sake he’s a vampire, atleast make him less hero-y. And what is this about in all these years in the pit the vampires have only learned to love. I call BS. Total BS. In fact, all they should have learned to do was HATE. With the treatment of the guards and like 99% of vampires pride, there should have been an uprising LONG ago. Hell, citizens of England rebelled because the fuckin taxes were too high. And while they could rule through fear it just leads to more uprisings. Another thing I hate is harems. Idk why but I just find it reaaallly annoying. I’m at like chapter 30 something and he already has 2 permanent wives. There’s still like 170 chapters left. From what I’ve seen I can already tell how this novel is going to go. I’ve seen a lot of great novels with good potential take the harem route and either end up getting dropped halfway through or ends up with like 1k chapters and so many girls I can’t even remember half of them. In fact, I usually don’t really like the MC having a wife/husband or children at all. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good romance story, but in adventure novels like these they almost always just fade into the background and don’t do anything (which at that point, why even add them), or they severely hold back the MC and end up getting kidnapped or something to use against the Mc. I’m just tired of it. Back to the hero thing, I personally prefer a more anti hero, who acts for his own benefits. And seeing as the MC is a VAMPIRE, even if he was a very kind human, should be much less heroic. Honestly, why does he even think that drinking blood is something he should be ashamed of? He had his memories wiped and it should just be natural for him. And wtf is up with him just casually giving away that one precious liquid to the lover guy. Like seriously?!?!!that is the STUPIDEST THING I have ever seen an MC do. another thing, the training seems to be more secondary, and it seems the main subject of the story isn’t him getting strong but saving the vampires. Also random complaint, why did the vampires show disdain when he drank blood from the one wife, if anything they should have been supportive of him. Based on how many times the author mentioned it losing control at the revenant stage should be completely natural and expected. The vampires should have helped him get over this hurdle and not shun him for it. Honestly I know this all comes down to personal preferences. I really tried to read this like you told everyone too as you say it gets better. But it just rubs me the wrong way. Sorry for ranting, this is all just my personal opinion continue on writing however you want to. And I know you probably don’t care as I’m one of many readers you have, but for now (and probably forever) I’m dropping this.

Kael Cor: A Vampire's Awakening

Anone
4.0
437 Chs

Liked by 13 people

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Replies9
JavaTari
JavaTariLv4

Also as an actual review Character Development (atleast what I’ve seen so far) is basically nonexistent. MC basically is like, oh no I did something bad, then feels bad for all of about two seconds, forgets about it, and is the exact same as before. He is angry a lot of the time, for some reason. For pretty much every character author says they have x personality but doesn’t say why, or changes there personality at all throughout chapters. The kid vampire he met who was supposed to be important basically ceased to exist in the story. The gnome became a device to give Mc home and basement while helping him mine. She also basically becomes non existent. The dwarf is just a tool to introduce his “first” wife (actually second) and build a connection to the gang. He also basically becomes nonexistent. His “first” (second) wife basically hangs around him all the time and author says how they have this deep bond and everything. Personally I just think this was an excuse to get MC a loyal and loving wife fast without any actual romance story. I skipped the second (first) wife’s story because I was lazy as hell. But from what I could gather after she loved him or something but was then forced to have intercourse with another man in front of him and have a child. Yet again, this just seems like a cheap excuse to get a second loyal loving wife but with some drama and unforgivingness from Mc. All in all character development is pretty bad The writing is okay, the random and sporadic comedy and darkness doesn’t really bother me. Slight mistakes happen often. All in all okay. The world background is also okay, but I didn’t really pay much attention to that. One of my main questions is how the hell did humanity go from being equal to the dark forces, to basically gods of the planet? Even going as far as to detain the dragons. Another question I have, is how did the training techniques get lost over time? I call bs on that. That stuff could only happen if humanity suffered a HUGE blow, and nearly became extinct. And as far as I can see, humanity is thriving and more powerful than ever. As I mentioned in my first comment, the training seems secondary and like it’s not important for the MC to become strong, when clearly it is. Another thing, idk if I misread it but it said the first stage or whatever in the mind training was the barrier for 60% of people. Does that mean EVERYONE can train in the mind? And if so why don’t they? It doesn’t seem like many do. Yet another thing, how is it possible that the humans have figured out how to restrain the WAY? It is the literal worlds life and will itself. It should be nearly impossible to apply this to ANYONE, much less to EVERYONE in the pits. And if it was that easy, then how come he hasn’t been able to figure it out yet? He may only be a beginner weaver, but the humans can’t just use weavers willy nilly on every single prisoner. YET AGAIN, should people who cast restrain on a persons life and WAY, suffer a MASSIVE attack from nature every second? They are after all trying to suppress the world itself. I may have misread some stuff. Cya

6yr
3
Anone
AnoneAuthor

Bloody hell that's one seriously long complaint. And honestly I skipped most of it, because it's not something I've not heard before. But I understand the points you've made, and you're, right. When I first started writing this, I was no a professional(heck I arent .) but the plot at the beginning was allover the place and since there were things I couldn’t change without properly rewriting the story, I worked around them and tried to make them better and more realistic. One things I'm sure I got right from The beginning was my MCs stupidity and sometimes foolish decisions. It helped me shape him into the person he turns out to be. The harem route was a spur of the moment decision I shouldn't have made, so to solve that blunder I made them important side characters. They never lost their relevance as the story is as much about the supporting cast as the main character. Everything you've complained about, I've tried to solve down the line. And believe it wasn't easy, but I Had a lot help from my readers. They helped save my story and made me a better writer. The first three of four dozen chapters weren't really good. But I learnt to be better after, so please, I know I'm being selfish or something, but give Kael one more chance. If you get to 100 and its still bad, then you can kick it to the curb. I'm sorry the earlier chapters did not make it worth your while, but give me a chance to redeem myself, and my story. But even you disagree, thanks for reading in the first place. I'm really greatful.

6yr
3
JavaTari
JavaTariLv4

Okay, sorry for kinda going on a rant, it was like 1 in the morning and I was pretty tired 😅. I’ll give it another chance, thanks.

6yr
SorcererCat
SorcererCatLv5

You should put this in your summary so that people know. This should help stop people from leaving your LN. Added you're LN to my Library.

Anone:Bloody hell that's one seriously long complaint. And honestly I skipped most of it, because it's not something I've not heard before. But I understand the points you've made, and you're, right. When I first started writing this, I was no a professional(heck I arent .) but the plot at the beginning was allover the place and since there were things I couldn’t change without properly rewriting the story, I worked around them and tried to make them better and more realistic. One things I'm sure I got right from The beginning was my MCs stupidity and sometimes foolish decisions. It helped me shape him into the person he turns out to be. The harem route was a spur of the moment decision I shouldn't have made, so to solve that blunder I made them important side characters. They never lost their relevance as the story is as much about the supporting cast as the main character. Everything you've complained about, I've tried to solve down the line. And believe it wasn't easy, but I Had a lot help from my readers. They helped save my story and made me a better writer. The first three of four dozen chapters weren't really good. But I learnt to be better after, so please, I know I'm being selfish or something, but give Kael one more chance. If you get to 100 and its still bad, then you can kick it to the curb. I'm sorry the earlier chapters did not make it worth your while, but give me a chance to redeem myself, and my story. But even you disagree, thanks for reading in the first place. I'm really greatful.
6yr
1
Anone
AnoneAuthor

Thanks I will

SorcererCat:You should put this in your summary so that people know. This should help stop people from leaving your LN. Added you're LN to my Library.
6yr
Arunavazael
ArunavazaelLv6

Sorry to ask you, is it true about the part that MC being NTRed right in front of him or similar ? I actually interested on reading it even it's dark story but it's scared me about NTR or the likes,I honestly hate NTR part, so please enlighten me. If those disgusting part did exist I rather not reading it even it's exist only 1 chapter. It's o.k if you doesn't wish to answer this, I'm not not hatter I just hate everything about NTR and the likes, even the part about random dude raping or killing women I hate it.

Anone:Bloody hell that's one seriously long complaint. And honestly I skipped most of it, because it's not something I've not heard before. But I understand the points you've made, and you're, right. When I first started writing this, I was no a professional(heck I arent .) but the plot at the beginning was allover the place and since there were things I couldn’t change without properly rewriting the story, I worked around them and tried to make them better and more realistic. One things I'm sure I got right from The beginning was my MCs stupidity and sometimes foolish decisions. It helped me shape him into the person he turns out to be. The harem route was a spur of the moment decision I shouldn't have made, so to solve that blunder I made them important side characters. They never lost their relevance as the story is as much about the supporting cast as the main character. Everything you've complained about, I've tried to solve down the line. And believe it wasn't easy, but I Had a lot help from my readers. They helped save my story and made me a better writer. The first three of four dozen chapters weren't really good. But I learnt to be better after, so please, I know I'm being selfish or something, but give Kael one more chance. If you get to 100 and its still bad, then you can kick it to the curb. I'm sorry the earlier chapters did not make it worth your while, but give me a chance to redeem myself, and my story. But even you disagree, thanks for reading in the first place. I'm really greatful.
6yr
Anone
AnoneAuthor

Oh! To be honest I hate NTR too, to the core. But I had to come up with something that would break the MCs heart at d time. I regret using it, but it's only one chapter, and it only happens once. And not by choice as both him and his wife were forced, so I guess u could say she was raped in front of her husband. Apart from that chapter, it's never mentioned again. Please don't let it stop you from reading my novel. Thanks

Arunavazael:Sorry to ask you, is it true about the part that MC being NTRed right in front of him or similar ? I actually interested on reading it even it's dark story but it's scared me about NTR or the likes,I honestly hate NTR part, so please enlighten me. If those disgusting part did exist I rather not reading it even it's exist only 1 chapter. It's o.k if you doesn't wish to answer this, I'm not not hatter I just hate everything about NTR and the likes, even the part about random dude raping or killing women I hate it.
6yr
Arunavazael
ArunavazaelLv6

I wonder which chapter is it? I wish to .. no I want to skip that chapter.

Anone:Oh! To be honest I hate NTR too, to the core. But I had to come up with something that would break the MCs heart at d time. I regret using it, but it's only one chapter, and it only happens once. And not by choice as both him and his wife were forced, so I guess u could say she was raped in front of her husband. Apart from that chapter, it's never mentioned again. Please don't let it stop you from reading my novel. Thanks
6yr
Anone
AnoneAuthor

It's 36

Arunavazael:I wonder which chapter is it? I wish to .. no I want to skip that chapter.
6yr
Other Reviews
Anone
AnoneAuthor

I always write a review for all my novels. Why? Well I think its because I love to see my name in big letters. This is a reincarnation novel, but I wrote this to focus on one thing and one thing alone........destiny. Is it something predetermined, or something you make for yourself, Kael Cor is my own way of finding that answer. If I have a destiny, then do I decide what it is, does God?, or something else. My journey to that answer is within the pages of this book, and I want to share it with you. Let's go

6yr

TwistedSomnus
TwistedSomnusLv15

There's a problem with the writing. The english itself is fine, but the pacing, focus, and rational are all sub-par. Pacing - There are 3 chapters before the official chapter 1 that are glossaries of terms and information about the world, and this is a definite red flag. 1) This is a terrible way to start a story. I don't want to do homework in order to read a novel for leisure. 2) If this is neccessary to understand the story, then you have failed as a writer. You need to show the audience, not tell them. That's the difference between a story and a textbook. 3) Revealing all these details is a part of storytelling. Dumping them all in the beginning simply means you can't use their revelation to further your story. Discovering things with the MC is one of the joys of reading a book, and now you've robbed us of that experience to some extent. 4) By talking about the X levels of your world and how people struggle to climb them, you not only told us the end point of your story, but informed us that we're going to have to read what is basically the same story X times. Another mystery dead and a promise of an endlessly repetitive story. Focus - You need to trim the fat. Details, such as the fact that the MC came in his pants after his first feeding, either need to be cut out or utilized to further the narrative. I believe you were attempting to show how overwhelming of an experience his first feeding was, but you didn't go into enough detail for this fact to be anything other than a distraction. You basically skimmed through the fact that he was exhausted, breezed through his emotional state, and then described in detail the tent in his pants and the stain from his ejaculation. 1 graphic detail amongst a few brief ones sticks out like a sore thumb, and just because it's about a sexual organ doesn't make your novel more "*****." Rational - "Because the information might put you in danger" is not a constructive reason to deny a amnesiac character information about THEMSELVES. That's basically saying "because the author doesn't want the audience to know." You talk about enemies and danger as if covering your eyes will somehow make them go away. All it does is render the MC helpless to avoid these dangers and force him to stumble face first into them due to ignorance.

6yr
JONRED
JONREDLv3

Reveal spoiler

6yr
SinfuLeeCerebral
SinfuLeeCerebralLv15

I'm about 20 chapters in as is my limit for every novel on seeing whether i will continue reading it and gauging its overall quality. I'm really liking the mixed genre of the novel and how there are so many possibilities towards growth and development. everything from Sci-fi to magick seems possible. the MC is lamentable at times though, his personality isn't very believable and can seem extremely immature. for being a prisoner he sure is lighthearted... i know he's only suppose to be 19, and that he no longer has his past memories but seeing such child like thoughts coming from him can grow annoying quickly. (is supposed to have regressed but some how knows how to be witty and talk back to the guards? lacks decorum and common sense but remembers non-sense such as actors and short phrases?) i feel like this novel could be a stellar 5 star novel if the author spent more time rereading the work for mistakes (as most of them can be easily found if the extra time was spent) and if the fourth wall wasn't broken at all. this novel really has the opportunity to be phenomenal if the serious undertones wouldn't keep getting disturbed mid flow. you have this novel that talks about the lives of others as if they're nothing and how rape and murder could happen around any corner, then out of no where (insert half remembered words or phrases. insert breaking the fourth wall.) it just completely lessens the overall quality of the novel. if author chose to rewrite this without so much nonsense and fourth wall breaking this could easily make it to the front page for weeks to come. best of luck to the author though, I'll continue to read it for a while longer to see how the author develops everything...

6yr
SoMogt
SoMogtLv3

Should harm your A.S.S what a lame reason for not telling him the past. If you know the past they will harm you... who? You can’t know they will harm you..... rly Sorry but this is so off and so stupid.

6yr
Daoist_Immortal_X
Daoist_Immortal_XLv5

Let me start with a warning: this novel needs NTR warning (or NTR tag). Beware! Read at your own risk! As for review: This novel is not very consistent. Author tries to mix stuff that doesnt mix well. Really dark stuff (torture, rape, NTR, etc.) mixed together with some immature joke usually ends up awkward. Also characters are very shallow. They just get one superficial characteristic and they act only based on that. You cant find any deeper motivation. Like this guy is cruel, another is greedy, this girl is arogant, etc. Even main character is very shallow. He remembers his past life and has many life experiences and yet he usually acts like a little brat without any care. Also whole world is mumbo jumbo mess that doesnt make much sense. It looks like author didnt put much thought into it when he created it. I dont recommend reading this.

5yr
SrWeedalot
SrWeedalotLv5

Do you like an mc that get's slapped around and pis*ed on? Well, if so then this is the novel you have been looking for. Do you like an mc that get's slapped around and pis*ed on? Well, if so then this is the novel you have been looking for.

6yr
Daoistunderlord
DaoistunderlordLv14

NTR enough said ......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

5yr
Leon07
Leon07Lv5

Netotare, that word should be enough for most readers to know why they shouldn't read this. I was interested in the novel at first, but it started showing signs of NTR, and then it just threw it all out onto us ( within first 50 chapters ). Quite disappointed

5yr
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