System for Dummies

At the beginning, all was well. Back then the main characters were something to be proud of; they were heroes. Nowadays, it's all about the sigma male grind set of Chads cucking the villains.

Gone are the days of heroic deeds and slaying of dragons─ forget the s, any dragon needed to be laid now. Nothing else truly matters, of course, aside from money.

Every author wants to make big bucks with their soulless main characters. They wanna see the green bills and with them big fat stacks of cash, they can finally start their own harem.

The eyes full of dollar signs are a totally normal condition for every aspiring author. Morals ain't paying your bills, son. Only getting famous and getting lots of coins would make you filthy rich.

A loud horn bellowed from the far depths; this was the announcement of a major development. Authors from all over the world assembled to compete in order to determine who has the most broken English in all of existence.

It was time for WSA; it was time for endless creativity and even more systems.

Thus, the cycle of creation began anew. It was time to win a competition for honour, recognition and, you guessed it, money. Money, money, money and also an anime adaptation… because they love their stories so, so much.

As such a young author in his mid-twenties decided to write his story to get a big fat paycheck. This author called Fearmongering did not have the brains, the looks or the ability to write a good story. All he had was a rotten brain after years of reading other system stories.

That means he was still overqualified.

Crushed by the realisation, the young virgin cried himself to sleep on his body pillow and died. Afterwards, he got isekaid straight to the next day. Just kidding, much like his virginity, it would take a lot for this man to lose this battle.

But, the experts of system writers could not be beaten by will alone. He needed more. He had to reach a level of stupid unheard of. He had to become super-stupid. Only by reaching the power spoken of in the legends could he write a masterpiece.

The readers needed the freshest memes, the fanciest weeb shit, the most awesome waifus, and an MC just as big-brained as themselves.

Who else could appreciate this kind of complicated story, other than horny 13-year-old boys?

Young teenagers were vicious beasts hidden in human skin. These monsters needed only one hand to type slurs and f-bombs. The other one was busy doing other, more important things─like homework, chatting, or simply beating their meat.

Yes, our dear author-san just knew how dangerous the being called reader was. Once, many moons ago, he too had been 13 years of age. Life was simple: eat, sleep, beat your… gaming highscores and repeat. Life was good.

Until one fateful day, he encountered a wonderful thing while he was browsing incognito; It was this thing called smut.

A whole new world appeared in front of very young eyes. That day, after 5 hours of other activities, he swore to become the best author of all time.

Of course, he failed miserably. Otherwise, you would not be reading this story, now would you?

Anyhow, that pasty white boi had a big dream. That "Dream" was never leaving the house and waiting for an attractive Homo Sapien, to come for the Homo erectus, and consummate the wedding night. In short, the cavemen wanted his bone to be polished.

Luckily for everyone involved, he was the author… not the main character of this story. Because that story would be like good olive oil, extra virgin and extra boring!

Ain't nobody wants to see a story about a loser, if they truly wanted to, they could look in the bloody mirror.

Insulting any potential reader was a bold strategy. But if a reader would just leave after being insulted, could he truly be called a reader? No, a true 13-year-old savage would go down in the comment section and tell our dear author many not-so-nice words.

That was the true dao of reading─not those xp comments, not the emoji spam, not these 5-star ratings by other authors. Neither the dude claiming to be first nor that one special person trying to give you heartfelt feedback were 'true' readers.

Solely 1-star ratings, with English as broken as their hopes of ever finding a girlfriend, were the pathway to absolute enlightenment.

There was a bit of a problem though, something that the writer called Fearmongering had not expected. He actually had to write a good story. This was quite the shock for the self-proclaimed soon-to-be rich novelist, whose main stories peaked at 1 reader in total.

You see, to some, this might seem like quite the problem and, to be honest, it should have been. Unless your IQ is just barely above room temperature, then everything is a-okay.

The few remaining brain cells did their utmost to come up with a unique plot line to enjoy.

10 seconds later, the most perfect novel was born. It was filled to the brim with wonderful ideas, like the main character becoming strong after being a weak bullied loser. Or him being a mythical creature, like a vampire. This trope had not been done to death many times over, not at all.

And best of all, it came with a system. Boom, who would have expected such a major plot twist? Last, but not least, this concept would make a shitload of money.

Sadly, due to copyright laws, the story was deleted faster than one could define what a good story on WN truly was.

Many strange copyright infringements later, nothing had truly changed. The script of the story was still empty. Copying the most successful stories had been a total bust. Did the lyrical mastermind, known as Fearmongering, really have to use his own brain?

As such, he cursed the heavens and did, as he had always done. He did everyone's mom and called it a day. Any keen-eyed reader might call this an unreasonable character development, to which I say you are damn right it was.

Try to write a good prologue for the hot garbage, that is this story, I dare you.

Now back to the story of how the author failed to write a story, which turns out to be part of the story to start the new story. Said new story is, surprise, surprise, a story about a system.

This system, however, was very strange. Forget it, enough of the bs. This is a weird story of all MCs I have ever written coming together to form a dysfunctional system, which will not end in chaos, I promise.

Happy reading, said the author in the void, knowing fully well that he had no friends.