Reviews, reviews, reviews.

Publishing a chapter in the afterlife could not be THAT hard. They had Wifi here, right?

This old computer must have access to the World Wide Web cuz how else am I supposed to become the famous writer I was destined to be?

How could it not? It had System in the title, after all.

[Your story has received 1 review.]

While I was glad that someone had decided to leave a thoughtful review, one thing seemed a bit strange. Not a single chapter had been written…

Now as an author nothing was impossible, but it was still really suspicious. Someone must have planted a secret microphone somewhere.

There was no other logical explanation.

My theoretical money!!!! These bastards stole it!!!

I would find these dirty thieves on Twi**er and start a hate mob. Only after their sorry butts have been cancelled would my soul be able to rest easy.

Or they satisfy me by handing over 10k dollars─I was always willing to compromise.

Anyhow, let the Great Me see the review these copycats got for MY STORY.

The user went by the name of SelfProclaimedNerd. They must have written a marvellous review. I took a closer look at the monitor to bask in the glory, that was the praise for the stolen story.

I read for a few seconds and could not believe my dead eyes. What the Frick was that?

Was this a cooking recipe? Who in the right mind would go under a story and leave a recipe? My book baby was not intended to teach readers about cooking. WTF man.

This must have been done by these lowlives who "borrowed" my story as I had "borrowed" my main character design. All of this was a secret strategy to sell whiskey to people.

This story was not at all sponsored by UncreativeJuices─The whiskey for the successful system author.

Well, at the very least they gave this perfect piece of writing a rating of 5 stars. Even though it made no sense to copy and paste a whiskey ad under this masterpiece of a novel.

[Your story has received 1 review.]

Damn, now these reviews were just rolling in. However, it would be very hard to write a worse review than the previous one.

And yet one quick glance later, I stared at the computer as my unnamed parents did at me… full of disappointment.

Did that motherlover really write a review, just so they could advertise their own book? That dude had the audacity to say, that the story Tales of Isfet was a much better book.

How dare he? Tales of Isfet was a really good story, with fascinating world-building, with characters so special, I did not have any good words for it, one should totally read it… once it was out; so most likely never.

But System for Dummies was still the much better book.

Nothing could compare to the funny AOSUDFBEAANFLAWFTDNMGRYG-System. Anyone with an IQ above room temperature would certainly die, while rolling on the floor laughing like a madman.

[Your story has received 1 review.]

Please be good, please be good, please be good… damn it.

Why had a german review invaded their, no, I mean my stolen novel? They rated it 5 stars, that person must have liked it, no wonder given how crazily good it truly was… wait a god damn minute.

The account was called Chuck45Single… this was not a review, they treated it like a dating app. People, this is a place for reviews, not to swap recipes, advertise other books or find hot single ladies in your area.

Okay, 3 weirdos have come to this site and left very strange stuff under the story, which will seem kinda weird when I am famous. But, they could not ruin my reputation…I would not let them.

Dear God, please do not send me more weirdos that leave weird messages beneath my story.

But lo and behold, the next weirdo came shortly after.

[Your story has received 1 review.]

Would this one try to sell boner pills to the masses or would they try to make people join the crazy XP cult? No, no, no it was something way weirder.

Someone asked me to draw D*bby the house-elf as a tall, hot lady…, wearing a hot pink perm whatever sick, perverted stuff that might be.

My story was NOT a place to request NSFW art to fuel your weird fetishes. Sexualizing D*bby is a crime worthy of death.

Whoever wanted D*bby to get H*rry P*tter's hairy wand… I will find you.

Could this get any weirder than it already was? Knowing the readers of this site…yes, of course, this was the wonderful world of High-IQ readers.

Thenoblehoneybee called it the"… best story I had never read" because and let me quote directly " I still have a life".

Now, correct me if I am wrong… but did people not actually have to read a story to actually review it? Just having System in the Title does not make it the most awesome story to ever exist, which it arguably truly was.

I mean, who did not want to read a story with an elf in a bikini on its cover─but the story is more than its very sexy, nearly nude bikini elf.

What was the point I was trying to make here again?

Ah yes, she has a name too and a personality as well.

The "plot" made a book. "Plot" referred to the naughty scenes after chapter 10, if you still wanna monetize your content.

Any more of these "reviews" and I might throw a real fit. Could this day get any worse?

[Your story has received 1 review.]

Why did I even ask? Seriously, what's next? I bet I get one of the pro reviewers, you know those people that manage to say a thousand words and yet not a single important thing.

That person was someone called The Procrastinator and the review that they left behind was really special. In fact, it was so creative that I am lacking the words to describe it.

Get this, this creative genius wrote "I love this novel! thank you for writing this novel, Author! more chapters please! ^_^" countless times….. I swear this much brainpower was highly illegal.

I was glad though that not many reviews were coming, thought the author sarcastically, not knowing that an entire second chapter would follow about the wonderful reviews left by the readers.