A weird "Heaven"

Okay, where was I now? How could this even qualify as heaven? Just lemme return to try and play dead─that seemed way more fun than whatever this tried to be. So, I waddled through the whole pile of savages and made my way here. Surprise, all I found was a whole lotta nothing.

Yup, beyond the gates to paradise laid absolutely nothing. Yeah, I'd be lying if I was surprised by the lack of things to poke fun at. Regardless of what might be seen as the "perfect place" to spend all of eternity in...

...no answer would encapsulate the absolute ZERO that one could find here.

Look, what would you come to expect from the afterlife? There had to be something that came to mind when considering the inevitable. May the imaginations be as strange as possible, yet none of them would even imagine this scenario.

For there to be an after, but really nothing aside from that.

All in all, kinda weird not going to lie. After a long, arduous life to be awarded with the spiritual equivalent of watching paint dry seemed more than a bit sullen.

Not that I could complain or anything, this story had already lost its course and every reason to exist in the first place. All the chapters that would come to follow, were merely empty shells of what could have been.

There was nothing and nothing would ever come from them. Regardless, of what might come to expect from the story; it ended in high spirits and as such it shall be remembered. No one should see it as the endless continuation of a project, which just persisted due to a contract offer.

Arguably, few desperate souls would reach this point in the first place. After all, the story was no more and should never be again.

The points it tried to convey were long ignored, in favor of yet another story to pass the time with.

Granted, having that kind of hope was a fools' errand in the first place. Ain't nobody should not get their hopes up in regards to the conquest for cheap entertainment via novels written for pure quantity.

Compared to this weird whole thing of absolute nothing, there might be a few souls, who can actually write quality work with a surplus of chapters every day. Although I would not hold my breath, till you find a story like that here on WN.

Otherwise, you will surely find yourself close to me and stare into the whole abyss of absolute nothingness here.

Who am I to care what you guys were doing with that info? If someone did feel inclined to kill any sort of brain activity then, by any means, be my guest in the most literal sense of these few words.

You know what, maybe it is my duty to give the readers the closure they need. Instead of this weird heaven, it is my obligation to create an ending for the people to enjoy. Give them something to remember this story by.

After all, asking them to use their own imagination once they already received 2 different, very memorable endings was just too much.

One could not expect these people to be satisfied by anything other than a normal "they lived happily ever after" type of last chapter. Don't just hop out of line and give people the end they crave.

...is what I would have done if I went with my last plan, but clearly, I could not be bothered to spend that much time on an endeavor that would not be read by anyone.

Time spent dwelling on these stupid sentences was not something I would ever get back. So excuse me and my lack of grammar checking, but y'all get your last bit of attention with this and the next bit.

One last hurray to commemorate this lovely trainwreck nobody gave 2 cents about.

Though do not get too excited about what weird mess my brain would concoct. Having expectations in this sort of context must just be plain wrong. Cuz, you have read through all the prior mess to get to this point.

So, the jig was up and everyone got their dose of reality many times over. Shocker, aint it?

To think that people still thought that there was a story to this point, heh. I just could not deal with these sorts of brains. I was, of course, joking. Not about them being idiots, but about me being able to handle them.

Enough of my antics, let us cut right to the chase, or else I come to feel inclined to continue this rambling till 1000 words have been reached.

...although for old times' sake, why not do exactly that? Of course, only to then abruptly end the chapter with a penultimate letdown.

For those unaware of what the word penultimate actually meant─its meaning was second to last. As in the dude that came before the dude in last. I had my word with ways.

Nonetheless, this was not about to become some sort of rant about whatever topic crossed my mind. No, that was to imply that I actually was motivated enough to contemplate what I should tell to you guys in a grandiose fashion.

Once those fabled 1000 words were reached I would just dip and end the chapter there. Right on the spot, it will come to a crashing halt at that exact moment. Regardless of what anyone would do, there was no changing that.

One might feel sad about the lack of care from my side, but consider this act my final goodbye to this series, one last repetition of the things that made this novel into the braindead story that it truly embodied.

Without any further ado, without me actually finding a reason to give this garbled garbage a great goodbye, we will put this to rest together!

That might just be another empty promise to satisfy any would-be reader, but who.....................................................................................................................