Pokemon - Alex Burns

I don't understand the logic of this fanfic. the author made a random orphan(I have no problem with them mind you) a no THE RIVAL to our mc who apparently has cheat similar to a system and is showing the mc as moron and wats more infuriating is that the mc is following the other kid like a lost puppy. This fanfic had sooo much potential but it was wasted it went down the drain just because author did not want the mc to be number 1 and give him a unrealistic rival and makes the protagonist dumb and stupid.

Fanfix has interesting and unique ideas in both characters and development. Please ignore all of the 12 year olds reviewers. To them, reading anything with the mc unable to defeat God and marry his daughter past ch 10 is considered hearsay

Just wanted to let people know that the last 6 comments seems to be from someone who wants to heavily lower the score of the fic. They were made in 30 min and some of them only have this single review with low stars. Report them. Review made at ch21: I don't think it was wise to spend all these chapters, where everyone is deciding if they want to read your story, in a rival and his Op pokemon (that we won't see again in 50 chapters) when your MC isn't even properly developed. I don't usually like or care about the MC having a rival for the same reason, you have to develop their character, summarize their adventure, their pokemon, and you have to make him an "equal" of the MC (so you have to make him special too), etc... and that takes a lot of chapters/words that I would have preferred to be about the MC having his own adventures and training his Pokemon. And it makes me resent rivals for that reason lol - I'm going to keep reading as there are not many high-quality Pokemon fics, as you seemed to be aiming for. I liked your world-building! Good job

I think this fan fiction has been rated terribly due to it being a bit slower compared to other ffs so here I am giving my own view on this ff. 5/5 The writing quality is decent not any major issues for reader, no glaring grammar mistakes. 5/5 The stability of updates is there I see 3 chapters a day, will see if this continues 3/5 The story development is decent in my opinion just the chapters are slow paced and themselves are small so it gives the illusion of the story being extremely slow. 4/5 The character design is decent and we can see the discrepency between the different characters but it can be more fleshed out. 4/5 I like the world background there's info about it laid around everywhere we can actually see a realistic Pokemon society from the words written but as I believe there's still more that can be added I will give 4/5

Story telling is okay, pace is slow but its an authors choice of direction, story plots seems to be a mash up of multiple different Pokémon fanfics such as "The Natural and Y'now nothing Jon Snow" from fanfiction net which is fine but the application in the story is some what forced into it without any background info or event pertaining such a situation may happen or is logical in any sense. Overall a fine read as long as you don't overthink everything and remember this is a fanfic, anything goes.

the rival thing is just dumb, i don't mind other people being stronger than the mc, but the rival has a cheat. and is more like the mc rather than rival, i suggest rewriting this

It is actually quite confusing FF. The beginning was quite interesting but later it became meh. may be later I will try it again, but for now the story is very confusing.

I’m confused who the MC of this fanfic is. It’s just trash. Letting other characters have high potential pokemon out of nowhere. It’s like he doesn’t know how to properly represent the potential of the pokemons. And he made that himself. What a waste. It has good potential, too.

now the story is getting interesting first i said that it was getting boring but after the volume 1 its starting to get good i really like the way the mc did not start his journey just yet unlike his friend which makes ts different from other fanfic.I like the Volume 2 a lot till now I HOPE IT GETS EVEN BETTER AS THE STORY PROGRESSES!!!!!!!

Fantastic Pokemon Fanfiction that does not rush the pace of the MC and has a pretty detailed and interesting storyline. Overall one of the best pokemon fanfics I have ever read!!!

Boring

meh....i dont mind....i mean the mc is 10 yrs old.......i like slow paced world building/character building novels so i could careless about....only problem is.....idk who the actual mc is???? is it joseph??? or alex??? cause joseph has a LOT of the screen time here.....not to mention alex is just following him on the early chapters other than that though i good with the novel.

ネタバレコメントを表示

Although slightly clunky, the story is very nice. An adult with at least 2 braincells would choose the research option, instead of jumping into the wild w/o much knowledge. Many people reviewing don't seem to get the idea of a non-Mary sue, slow story. I think you are doing a great job! Some recommendations: 1) This is an adult mind in a child's body, and not a child getting the adults memories. Keep that in mind while writing. 2) A maxed pokemon can still be trained further to get stronger at the same level if it has better move mastery/battle awareness. No stat to indicate this has been shown. Not sure if it is intentional as a plot point to make the mc learn about not depending on it completely.(Training only seems to be applicable to see if a Pokemon is closer to evolution). 3)Please consider good excuses/reasons for finding out some evolutions. Random logic would hurt as this is a slow story, and not a fast paced one. Just generally try and keep things logical. Good luck!

I just gave it 5 stars because I really like this fanfic and people are just lowering the rating with terible a excuse so 🤷‍♂️ I know this is slow paced but I wished you would have made the test arc more interesting because it was just Test - pass - happy - test - pass - happy for that while so you should of made it more interesting though I don’t blame you because I can’t really think of much you can do especially since it just started and mc is a child orphan of a small town with no Pokémon or source of info except a computer but it was just a couple chapter so that’s good

Its all info dumps and the author claims its just slow paced lol also this story is just bad. There are two MCs with how he is portraying the other character.... the MC is a reincarnator with a cheat and is worse than the random kid oc . Another pokemon fanfic that wasnt good. Shocker.

Pftt I don’T know who the mc is.. Another character has A cheat like the mc And mc follows that character like a dog so meh.......................

slow paced story.. it is interesting tho.. but the first part of the story its not that interesting.. because the focus of the story at that time not the mc hinmself.. but the rival.. i just hope that the story can pick up a pace.. not so fast.. but not this slow..

nice story [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]

As long as the pace of releases continue, you can be as slow as you want in the story. But be careful, don’t burn yourself out. (Ps as long as the pace continue’s you have my powerstones.)