The story had a good beginning, the plot of the story is clear, the direction transparent, world building not much till now as of chapter 3. But there needs much work to be done wrt tenses. A but of touch-up on grammar and punctuation. You can increase the description about: 1) The MC's emotions ( this is very important to capture the reader's attention ) 2) necessary background ( only that that affect the story line, insert them inside dialogues or the like. Don't put them as fillers, your readers wouldn't like to much facts) 3) your readers want more emphasis on emotions, action, drama and plot. The less facts the better since they wouldn't be able to remember them much. 4) the views and opinions of the side characters occasionally 5) perspective of the mc through a third person view 6) circumstances of the villains, boss and the mini bosses. ( How they became like that, their circumstances and why they Target the mc) 7) don't use the common tropes as much as possible ( they have been spammed to death already) 8) don't make the mc a hypocrite Well, that's all I have to say. Tell me once you've written more than 20 chapters, I'll leave a proper plot review then 🧐. All the best for your future endeavors 👍👍👍
The overall story is good.But the mc seems like an idiot. He know there will be appocalypsenin 1 year,but he didnt really focus on cultivating but rather go to sleep. And when he go to other place armless even though he know that place is dangerious. So stupid even though he know their danger,i mean, he already live pass it, so he need to get more vigilant the longer he lived
The plot go to past before apocalypse and redo it all. I often like this sort of things. Alo like anyone I dont like stuff to be draged out. But issue here is that all chapters seem to be fast foward summaries. Like mc was betrayed in the past now needs minions/subordinates who do all his work. So he meets them once talks 2 centensies then wham minion is imprest and he already trust him and her. Same speed is all other stuff. I dont cimplain about the plot but stuf dont work like that in real life and is not belevable in the story either.
I love stories that go back to the past to stop the imminent doom, and more if that involves zombies. But I read 4 chapters and it really hurts my eyes the way you write. Sometimes when he thinks something you use "xxx" but some other times you use the proper 'xxx'...And you mix those up in a middle of the sentence so is really confusing, instead of using expressions like ... He frustrated responded to her mother... Yes, mother, we have a deal...You use this weird type of writing..."Yes, 'we have', mother," Also, a lot of sentences you don't use capitals letters to start the conversation...Just wtf. Fix your grammar, be consistent with the way you write and maybe the story is worth reading. Because right now, I can't read it properly, it takes an extra mile to me to read such a story, and I really don't want to do that. I just can't read anymore, I reached chapter 12 and my eyes couldn't take it anymore. Sorry, please reply to this comment when you are done editing all your chapters because the story seems interesting but right now is illegible.
This was pretty good, I'm curious to see how it goes since I'm pretty weak to these types of books. So far a pleasant array of characters its fantasy so I can understand the unreal Entrepreneur that is Zion Blake is real I like him. The grammar could use just a bit of work and then we'll be good. The cover is nice got that whole world end vibes that I'm fond of 8/10 fully recommend.
A very good novel with an interesting plot. To start off, the chapters have some beautiful descriptions along with intriguing characters and plot. The character (Mc mostly) is very well thought out and the story has a good flow and pace. The few problems that the novel has is mostly due to English not being the author’s language (I think I read that somewhere) like how some words that need to be in the past tense are in the present. And some sentences have commas, punctuation marks, and words placed in the wrong places. There were some small grammatical errors, that didn’t really disrupt the story in any way, as well. The novel is still a bit new so there isn’t much in world background yet, but I believe it is definitely adding on every chapter. The update seems to be quite stable with a chapter a day and the story development is very interring so far. I look forward to the future chapters and I wish the author the best of luck!❤️❣️❤️
Really nice writing, the imagery and description of scenaries, settings, etc. was amazing! It was so detailed, I could perfectly picture an idea in mind. There was a few capitalization and lowerization mistakes on a few words and a few words missing quotation marks (especially shouting), but other than that, I thoroughly enjoyed the book! The book is very interesting and promising~
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Hey, I'm new to webnovel.com and I find it fun to read through these books. I probably shouldn't be giving reviews but you asked so nicely so here. And I really like where your story is going, every thing besides the writing I'm giving a five. I took AP English for two years and maintained a steady B-. So I'm going to say that you need some help with your grammar. Your forgetting your quotation marks, and some of your sentences don't flow. It simply the words your using. I'll leave some examples in my comment. But other then that, I think it's really good.