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Naruto The Untouchable (Completed)

Author: kamidemond
Anime & Comics
Ongoing · 3.5M Views
  • 160 Chs
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Synopsis

In Naruto I have Dragon Ball system but I am not a Saiyan ??? Means no super saiyan no super saiyan god no zenkai boost there is more in dragon ball beside saiyans any ways . I am gonna rule the world. One minute I dont even have chakra ???? I do not own Naruto, Fairy Tail or any other character name I use in this book beside my main character and the one I create. Join my Patreon and get 20+ chapters ahead of Webnovel updates. patreon.com/Kamidemond

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Chapter 1CHAPTER 1 : I AM NO SAIYAN BUT WHO CARES

If you want to read more chapters!! ahead go to

patreon.com/Kamidemond

Discord invite: https://discord.gg/VqU83N2As4

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Konohagure no Sato.

On the top of the Hokage monument, a 7-year-old child was sitting. Waiting for the sunrise.

His name is Takashi Jin.

Panting slightly because of the all-morning training he did.

'I have been in this world for almost 7 years now and there is nothing'. thought Jin.

'At first, I thought I will get a super cool cheat or golden finger when I came to this world but till now there is no sign of a system or a template'.

Jin was born in the same year as the protagonist. This means that there are going to be a lot of problems going to come his way as he grows old.

Uchiha Massacred is just around the corner.

4 to 5 years later there will be a Konoha invasion and an Orochimaru attack.

8 years later and Akatsuki organization will start making their move.

10 years later the biggest war which this world has ever faced will come his way.

While Jin remembered all the important events which going to happen in the future he saw the sun coming out from the horizon.

Jin since the age of 3 has been doing excessive training every day.

And after every morning's hard training, he sits on the top of the Hokage monument and sees the sunrise.

While the Sun was coming out from the horizon he heard a strange sound.

[Ding. The Dragon Ball system has been Activated].

Jin saw the text floating in front of him in the air and heard the system sound. He could not believe what he was seeing.

Finally, his Golden finger is here.

[System Analysing. The host is recommended to wait for a while].

Jin was not in a hurry anyways and waited giddily for his powerful cheats.

But by just the name of the system, he could figure out that the power will be the same as the Dragon Ball character. He can't believe how much powerful he will be when he turns super Saiyan.

[Ding. The system found that the host is Human and no Transformation power can be given to the host].

[Also the host does not possess any Ki from the dragon ball world and thus the system is altering the host].

Jin saw the text and all his plans came down crashing.

"System what do you mean I can't have any transformations".

Almost throughout the dragon ball Anime the transformation skills especially the Super Saiyan transformation and later the Super Saiyan god and blue transformation is the most powerful ability.

If he cant get super Saiyan then that would be a huge blow to his power.

And what does not possessing Ki mean? Shouldn't System should provide him Ki power and turn him into a Saiyan?

[Ding alteration complete. The system found an alternative power source in the host body called the chakra.]

[Host body will perform all the Ki-related techniques using Chakra].

[Because Chakra is much weaker than Ki, Host's overall power level has been decreased]

[Ding. Answering Host Question "System what do you mean I can't have any transformations"].

[Host cannot change his race. The system does not possess this power.]

[Alternative Main System Power calculating].

[System advice host to wait until the alternative power is allocated].

[Ding. System feature explanation].

[System has a 10 years expiration date]

[System will gift 1 power, ability or item on host birthday morning every year for 10 years]

[System will award host when host learn, master or accomplish a power, technique and feat for 10 years]

It took some time for Jin to process all the information.

He did not know what to say to the system.

it was not terrible but it was not as strong as he first thought it would be.

'If I am not turning into a super Saiyan or have God ki and am nerve because of chakra then why do I even have this system' thought Jin to himself.

"Seems like I have to go through the traditional shinobi way after all" Jin signed.

'He might want to learn 8 Inner gate formation in the future. Without any bloodline or tail beast's help, it going to be hard to survive this world.

'He also has to learn much focus on learning ninjutsu now'.

[Ding. Body Alteration side effect]

[Host body has been strengthening and Host Chakra has been increasing.]

This brings a small smile to Jin's face.

[99% host body chakra has been altering to act like Ki. The host cannot use the chakra which is converted to Ki].

[System advice host to learn skills which cost less chakra in future and also to focus on increasing host chakra].

Jin got dark lines on his face immediately after hearing this.

"How is this system helping me? It's almost like this system wants me to suffer" said Jin in a loud voice.

Good thing that no one was around him at that time.

Jin was not a Genius like Kakashi or Itachi but he was not bad either and he was born with more than average chakra and a better body than most of the civilian kids.

But now this change is going to change his life forever.

He no longer can use Sage mode in the way he was dreaming.

He can't use all those cool Jutsus either.

He can't even use shadow clones or flying thunder gods in the future any more either.

But if his guess is right then Rasengan won't be any problem.

By this time, the sun was already illuminating the entire Konoha and once again the beautiful village was illuminated in the daylight with all its majesty.

Jin sighed and was about to go home when he heard another system notification.

[Ding, Primary System Power has been chosen].

[Host has activated ULTRA INSTICTS].

"What" Jin shouted.

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If you want to read more chapters!! ahead go to

patreon.com/Kamidemond

Discord invite: https://discord.gg/VqU83N2As4

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Azrail93 · Anime & Comics
4.5
852 Chs
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funmaxwell
funmaxwellLv13

hmm look I really really like your story's premise and I've often thought to myself just having dragon Ball Z's version of Ki and having all the knowledge of the techniques of one or two characters from the series would be overpowered in a lot of various settings and would make for an awesome si fanfic and your story's is premise somewhat close to that so I'm highly interested. but your story has some serious problems and it's hard to enjoy reading your story with these problems present in it and chief among them are grammar and dialogue issues. as there's pretty much grammar issues in every sentence of your story and the most common among them are extra words that don't need to be there or what you mean to say is there but the words are in the wrong order. and then there's phrasing and what do I mean by that it's just like you could have said it smoother or better. as a lot of the dialogue doesn't feel very natural and not like a computer unnatural more like the awkward Foreigner that can communicate his ideas but he says it like the most awkward way possible and it just makes character feel off in away I can't quite describe. I also can help think to myself is the magic pendant that increases gravity necessary? when the Naruto universe has fuinjutsu which you could probably use to replicate to the same effect. then there's a whole elephant in the room about him not being seen using dragon Ball z techniques at night or just before the sun rises or whatever. as most dragon Ball techniques are pretty much a light show and should be a beacon in the middle of the night to any civilians or Ninja who just happened to be on patrol at night and that's not even getting into the how they're super destructive. then there's the fact you give him ultra instinct in chapter 1. which made it feel completely unearned. which was kind of s***** thing to do.

EvilBlueCrystal
EvilBlueCrystalLv1

It's clear that noone cares about consistency or logic, just throw random elements together and hope it sticks. Well, it doesn't! First off, the protagonist's abilities with Chakra are suddenly converted into Ki for dumb reason, But hold on, there's no Ki in this world! So why would it be converted from Chakra into Ki? The protagonist is left without any Chakra, rendering him incapable of using any jutsu. Good, You've successfully crippled the very foundation of the story. The protagonist is apparently all-powerful with zero explanation or backstory, and can deal with anything and anyone right from the start. And speaking of explanations, forget about getting any, The jutsu, physical training, and interactions between the team are all conveniently skipped. Coherent storytelling is not important when you can just jump from one random event to another without any rhyme or reason, The protagonist joins a team with no clear goal or purpose, to gain absolutely nothing from it, The other characters might as well be cardboard because their reactions and inner thoughts are completely ignored. The chapter 7 and 8, where The entire mission is skipped over, so that the protagonist can magically pull some super op skill out of thin air and save the day. The protagonist can use these overpowered techniques, But even the Hokage, who's a master of all jutsu, doesn't care. And just when you think it can't get any more dumb, the author introduces skills like 'rasengan kahehameha'. No training, no progression, no details, just the MC saving the day by stumbling upon one super op skill after another with incomplete explanations.

PainIsReality
PainIsRealityLv3

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