Level-Up Hitman

-Starverse

-Star Galaxy

-Planet Goldstar

-Ursa Minor Continent

-Big Dipper Valley

Like most valleys found on the Ursa Minor continent, Big Dipper Valley is filled with countless leafy trees, various creatures and several rolling hills covered in verdant green grass. Deep within the recesses of the valleys forest rises a lone hill like no other, for situated upon this singular hill stands an ancient archway, a relic from a long forgotten age covered in many strange and wondrous glowing symbols.

Day after day, this archway stands, silent and unnoticed by the many inhabitants of the valley, for although obviously anyone who saw such a magnificent and mysterious archway would instantly be filled with an unquenchable spirit of curiosity to divulge the lost mysteries of this remnant of a lost age, none of the valleys inhabitants are able to perceive it.

Yes, this incomparable ancient edifice, a product of a lost age, filled with the unknown secrets of a bygone era is imperceptible to the inhabitants of the valley.

Occasionally, upon what might seem the playful whim of the sentient archway, it would allow a random passing inhabitant of the valley to actually perceive its mystifying self clearly, radiating an inexplicable aura of enticement, upon which, their curiosity aroused by the abrupt appearance of this newfound structure in the midst of the valley, they would rush towards it inquisitively, heedless of any danger.

Then, exactly at the moment they were within arm's reach of the Archway, there mind would suddenly be overcome by a sea of forgetfulness. Stopping, their minds beset by an amnesia inducing fog as thick as three day old porridge, they would gaze at their present surroundings in bewilderment, before wandering off in the opposite direction, all thoughts of the archway purged from their memory.

In this way the Archway had remained sheltered, silent, and alone atop the lone hill for countless eons, until suddenly one morning, (I think it was a Tuesday), an exceptionally strange individual unexpectedly materialized in front of the archway.

As strange as this strange man appeared, it seemed his outfit outdid him in the field of aberration, formed as it was from a variety of mismatched parts and materials, that ranged from various magical fabrics and extinct monster skins to pieces of multihued metals and even shards of olden wood.

Starting from his start, sitting comfortable atop his lustrous long white hair, sat a conical pointed hat, covered in seven increasingly in size multihued bright stars, as well as many magical symbols of various colors, that glowed mystically with an unknown power.

At the peak of this pointed hat hovered a glowing golden sun the size of a baseball, that was orbited by seven different colored stars. This mischievous radiant sun, seemed to enjoy floating in the opposite direction he looked, as though it were involved in a perpetual game of hide-and-seek with the strange man.

His upper body as though it were not willing to be outdone by his magnificently ostentatious hat, exuded the same amount of uniqueness, for the left of his torso was tightly enclosed by a solid golden chestplate, which smoothly transformed upon reaching the center of his chest into a multihued, flexible, metallic silk shirt on the right.

His right sleeve in contrast to his left was completely gone, revealing a wizen pale arm, while his left sleeve, which was formed from numerous interlocking tiny star shaped pieces of different colored fur, metal, and wood, was whole, and flowed sleekly all the way to his wrist.

Around his waist was securely coiled at least a dozen belts of various colors and designs, that all seemed to emanate a frightening sentient aura as they glowed eerily emitting scarcely audible voices that whispered in strange tongues hinting at their abnormal existence.

His dark scaled pants, made from the skin of a strange reptilian creature clearly preferred his right leg over his left, for while the right pant leg enclosed his entire leg, the left one unexpectedly ended mid-thigh, several inches above his knee. Revealed by the lack of material which abruptly halted mid-thigh was a golden stocking that in contrast to his pants seemed to have an entirely different opinion of his left leg continuing down all the way to his foot.

His feet, a final testament to his oddness, were clad in a uniquely dissimilar manner. Upon his right foot was a pitch black boot, forged from a oddly flexible metal, while on his left foot was a clear crystal sneaker, that glowed with numerous minute shining stars.

Indeed this unusual man, fully clad in an odd assortment of clothes and various strange artifacts, who easily towered over even the tallest of men, was in every sense of the word a complete and total aberration. However if one was to focus not on the individual pieces of his clothing but on the entirety of his being one could sense a strange harmony hidden within the depths of his apparently blatant display of lunacy, subtly hinting at the fact that his wardrobe was not focused on his mere appearance, but had a higher purpose in mind.

Regardless of this man's many eccentricities it appeared their existed a distinct purpose in his sudden appearance for even as he stood their silent and cold, his ancient face exuding an air of unfathomable comprehension while his eyes sparkled with unseen thoughts of mischievousness their suddenly emerge on his long bearded face a massive, ear to ear grin from which he suddenly released a gleeful cackle shouting aloud, "Finally it's time, after waiting more than 1,000 centuries I have finally found a viable guine.."AHEM"...I mean candidate, who will undeniably liven things up a bit. Good thing too, since I absolutely detest waiting. In all of existence there is only two thing I despise greater than "waiting" and one of those is waiting for a very long time. Accursed waiting, oh how I despise thee for once I had been plunged into the unfathomable depths of thy murky embrace I quickly neared the limit of what little patience I did possess. Yet fortune favored me and by the grace of the almighty I managed to mustered the entirety of my resolve and maintain my goodwill."

"Verily I do declare that if nature had asked of me to linger patiently even one more nanosecond for the geo-sequential temporal spatial alignment to occur I would most assuredly have begun to act upon the numerous malevolent thoughts which have clouded my spirit and disturbed my goodwill as a valid means of spiritual mitigation."

Abruptly ending his tirade of displeasure, with a thought he effortlessly disappeared from his current position instantly reappearing next to the Archway whereupon he softly grasped it with both his hands, running his fingers across it sensuously as though it was his long lost lover while he leaned near it and began to whisper barely audible sweet-nothings into its nonexistent ear.

"Oh-ho-ho-ho my little darling, how are you my precious Archy Warchy, oh, my, even after all this time you still have such a perfectly sinuous figure, and I must confess the way your body curves still drives me wild."

The archway in response to his affectionate tone was suddenly shaded a distinctively pink hue which grew deeper with each of his exceedingly flirtatious comments, as though it were a blushing young maiden under the relentless attack of a practiced Casanova.

After several hours of exchanging ardent flirtatious remarks he reluctantly withdrew his hands from the archway wearing a melancholy look of soulful regret upon his face, before placing his right hand resolutely upon his chest, directly above his heart.

Then bowing in the manner of a gentleman unto the noblest of lady's he said in an unwaveringly lucid tone "My dear sweet Arcilis, alas how swiftly does our moment of joy depart us upon the steadfast wings of unyielding time's unrelenting journey, ever onward, towards an unknown future. Finally after waiting for what has felt like an eternity it is time to call upon the one big brother foretold of, the one who will fulfill the hope which we have both longed for so very long. Worry not my love for I truly believe that he will liberate us from our endless torment, now, regretfully, I must beg your leave, the alignment of the nexus is upon us signaling it is time to begin."

Rising smoothly his form began to blaze with an iron resolve that radiated the powerful aura of the mightiest of sovereigns while his eyes glowed with an unfathomable steadfast determination before swiftly fading as his appearance once more resumed its eccentric facade. Moments later with a thought he reappeared at his initial position, then fully extending both of his hands outward, he assumed an indomitable stance, heralding the beginning of his true purpose.

Swiftly bringing his two palms together with a thunderous "CLAP" which oddly lingered in the air, causing only the space within the confines of the archway to quake. All of a sudden he began to chant, speaking in a forgotten tongue, that at first was barely audible, but gradually as he continued to unceasingly speak, ever so slowly grew increasingly louder and louder causing the space within the archway to shake increasingly harder.

Finally as the space within the archway appeared to near the limits of solidity, with a mighty shout he suddenly ripped his hands apart causing the space inside the archway to split with a reverberating "RIIIIPP" forming a black void that filled the entire inner part of the archway.

Examining his work, the strange man nodded approvingly as he cackled gleefully aloud "Perfect, now to pull my little fishy in."

Pulling out a bizarre glowing fishing pole composed of an assortment of strange components from nowhere, he assumed an impossible casting stance, with both his arms straightened above his head holding the pole aloft before suddenly falling back rigidly until strangely when he was less than a inch from the ground he suddenly stopped before shooting forward with a cackle as his strange hook shaped like a sun surround by a ring of 7 multicolored stars with a piece of parchment attached to it flew into the inky black void like a prismatic shooting-star causing the reel to screech loudly as the endless golden string on the pole swiftly unwound.

As the seconds swiftly turned into minutes and the minutes turned into hours the reel maintained its loud screech as the thread continued to unravel at the same speed until, all of a sudden, with a plink, the screeching stopped.