Lamelle
Great story. The mc Lui Xian is in one sided love with the emperor that he served for 10 years. The story shows us his journey to get over his love, while getting death threats like assassination, etc. This in one-way helps him to meet with Feng Shao (he is really good looking). The mc also faces cold shoulder from little Shao but with them interacting mc's feeling for the emperor starts to fade away. The process of mc losing feeling for the emperor didn't happen instantly unlike other cliche story were in just one moment the mc starts to hate the person he loved for eternity. This made the novel realistic for me. The fighting scen needed some more words to define. The novel isn't focusing on martial arts so this might do to. Well, can the mc not stole herbs from feng shao đ¨? I feel bad for little shao who is apparently 30 đ¤ is this even possible?
Shameless review from author! First of all I am just supporting myself for all the effort I am putting in this novel. I would like to tell you that you might find some errors in the novel, this is because English is not my first language and I am also not a professional writer but I hope you like the story line and help correct mistakes here and there. If you have liked the novel I hope you recommend it to others
It was an interesting story that has a great plot. The writing style of the author was very easy to comprehend. Although, there were quite a few grammatical errors and misuses of punctuation marks. I think it could be better to add more details and stabilize the characterization of the characters. That was only my concern but, so far, it was still a decent read.
Honestly, I'm so curious. The mystery in the story is well made and make the reader long for the next chapter. The story seems to shows us how Mc get over his one side love I guess? Xiao Feng is an interesting person and I want to know his story eagerly. Overall the story is well written and you are kinda drowned in it immediately. Good job keep going!! 4d
An interesting story! You bring up a very difficult topic to write about - difficult, 'forbidden' love. The storyline is intriguing, your characters are expressive. The descriptions are nicely written, and the world background interestingly presented. Don't worry about the language. You are doing well. Good luck with the contest!
I think overall you did a good job, the first chapter was really well written. But sometimes you tend to over explain the character emotions or thoughts which kinda ruin the pace of the story, some of your scenes aren't describing the characters's actions well. and try to use more commas, less as, and, but. The way you slowly reveled the unrequited love triangle of Lui and the prince was good. I still think it has room for improvement. Good job. đ
So far , this is interesting. You start off with an emotional feel and MCâs long love for the first son, but then joined him on a journey of what situations were happy with his life and why. Author has some spelling mistakes that easily fixable, but also wrote in a way that was easy to read and understand. If you still wondering if you should read, I say give it a chance. You might end up liking it â¤ď¸