Jo_J
"Life without passion is tasteless..."... “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” /Maya Angelou/ <3
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Jo_J6dCommentedCh 618 Someone...- Jo_J6dReplied to edsjCh 618 Someone...
- Jo_J28dCommented
she had feelings for him.
Seeing how she sported a strong and light smile, his guilt slowly kicked in. Even though Sarah never professed her feelings, Zachery knew that she had feelings for her. The reason Zachery tried to reciprocate it. - Jo_J1mthPosted
I love the idea of the cover page! It's so catchy and original! The concept for the story is really great and the plot is very interesting. You're doing well! The language needs some polishing. Think that your story is read also by non-English speakers... please have that in your mind, especially when you use multiple sentences.
- Jo_J1mthReplied to SeverusMagicusCh 16 Paris
- Jo_J1mthCommented
as he loved her (not him)
Beth loved this man as much as he loved him. She was sorry for hurting his wife, but she just couldn't stop. A terrible couple; people would see them as such, but that didn't matter to her. - Jo_J1mthCommentedCh 588 Sixth Commandment
- Jo_J1mthPosted
An interesting beginning! I like Arida, her determination to change the past, I mean the future ;) I miss descriptions of the background, I need more details, etc... but you are doing great! Well done! You don't with the language so it's your advantage over the rest (non-English speakers), use it well!
- Jo_J1mthPosted
The picture for the cover page is great! A very good material for an original and catchy cover page ;) The plot of your story is captivating and the characters expressive. Nicely written descriptions. You don't really struggle with tenses, style, or grammar. It's your advantage over the rest (non-English speakers), use it well!
- Jo_J1mthCommented
hmm... sounds gooood
Nevertheless, the first time it happened to Cyrus it was not all sunshine and rainbows. No, it was especially awful because his vision went dark and his thoughts, against his will, slowed down. His consciousness felt like it was gradually seeping into a deep quagmire with no path of return. But as he sank further in, that 'vision' returned in a x-ray like projection of his body. - Jo_J1mthReplied to Paulina_B
after all, he is the prototype of the character :D
"Damn! Matthew, you have the perfect trap muscles! The ideal abs and beautifully built quadriceps and calves." Shamelessly she looked up and down his body very slowly. She was about to watch him from behind, but she stopped herself in time and summed up her observations. "Actually your whole body is perfect!" - Jo_J1mthReplied to Jo_J
or you can use real city names, even if the story is fiction
Gea's office and apartment are in S city because most of her patient lives there, but she usually likes to spend most of her spare time in B city that usually takes a 2-hour drive by car and 45 minutes if you use the train from S city. - Jo_J1mthReplied to Izmi_Gea
that's what a real friendship is :D
Hearing her, Matthew knew that he had a very long day ahead of him. He wished he had slept last night. Now he had no choice, he had to pretend. - Jo_J1mthCommented
the dot at the end not necessary
"I do not know, maybe watch some old movies again, why you asked?". - Jo_J1mthCommented
a capital letter at the beginning of the sentence
" hey, whats movie you plan to watch?" her assistant called, knowing that she'll spend her day off watching movies all alone tonight. - Jo_J1mthCommented
said
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