"Life without passion is tasteless..."... “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” /Maya Angelou/ <3
she had feelings for him.
I love the idea of the cover page! It's so catchy and original! The concept for the story is really great and the plot is very interesting. You're doing well! The language needs some polishing. Think that your story is read also by non-English speakers... please have that in your mind, especially when you use multiple sentences.
as he loved her (not him)
An interesting beginning! I like Arida, her determination to change the past, I mean the future ;) I miss descriptions of the background, I need more details, etc... but you are doing great! Well done! You don't with the language so it's your advantage over the rest (non-English speakers), use it well!
I am not really in vampire stories, but I have to admit that reading this story is a pleasure. The writing quality is excellent, the text is nicely polished. The storyline is interesting and the characters are expressive. Well done!
The picture for the cover page is great! A very good material for an original and catchy cover page ;) The plot of your story is captivating and the characters expressive. Nicely written descriptions. You don't really struggle with tenses, style, or grammar. It's your advantage over the rest (non-English speakers), use it well!
hmm... sounds gooood
after all, he is the prototype of the character :D
or you can use real city names, even if the story is fiction
that's what a real friendship is :D
The story is different from most of the stories on WN, There is no CEO's, system, vampires and another monster so that's something the readers should treasure. The Gea's character is nicely-created. The storyline is interesting. Well done!
the dot at the end not necessary
a capital letter at the beginning of the sentence