webnovel
Ototsu_Yume
Ototsu_YumeLv103yr
2021-05-17 09:10

This novel is thoroughly enjoyable, very few authors can manage a Naruto fanfic set prior to Naruto's era without making serious errors and they tend to stick to canon, this one however does not and is quite refreshing in that sense, the character interactions are also fresh and believable. Overall I give it top marks.

被5人贊過

回復1
Yasashiki
Yasashiki作者

Thank you for the review, I’m glad that you enjoy it! I try my best to not making huge errors, and when something is unknown or not dated I try to be logical. There are still some errors since being perfect is not possible unless you are Kishimoto. The more we near the canon, the more big events will be different since it cannot stay the same with Mc’s presence. I’m happy that you find the character interactions fresh and believable, but I still think that I don’t do enough of them.

Other Reviews
PeaceBeforeImpact
PeaceBeforeImpactLv15
TimeBender
TimeBenderLv1

It is far above the average naruto fanfiction, but still nothing impressive. There are quite a few better than this, but it far outshines the average ones. The writing quality is average, but the story makes up for it a bit. There are some grammatic issues, weird phrasing, awkward descriptions and the like, but it is still readable. The world background is developed a bit, but is still lacking. There are some issues with logic and inconsistency, as well as the lack of understanding the world. Some earth shaking changes made in the story have ZERO effect on the world. For example, Minato learned the Flying Raijin in less than a year. If it was so easy to master, the world would've been different. And this is just one of many. THE PLOT is ok, nothing spectacular, but has some original points. Characters are decent, but still have a lot of issues. The author somehow thinks that behaviour is genetic? WHAT? (Example with shisui) And ignores most of the changes the MC's presence would bring to the people. And now for the MC. He does actually think a bit, but not that much. He doesn't use his knowledge to his full advantage and just stays in Konoha being content. With his power, he could transform the world in years, create ways to grow at insane speeds, raise children to be powerhouses, revolutionize the education system, bring out new reforms, improve the lives of all, unite the world under one banner and so so so so so much more. Yet he stays in Konoha doing nothing. I know this is partly because of Madara, but it is still a bad excuse for lazy writing. The MC was stronger than Madara long ago, yet he for whatever reason persists his stupidity.

Related Stories

Pokemon Alternate Universe Adventures

A man from an Earth gets the choice to start over in any Universe and chooses an Alternate Pokemon Universe. Let us see if his journey to the top is succesful and the impact he will have on his new world. Pokemon is owned by Nintendo, Game Freak and Creatures Inc. I just use their sandbox for the plot of my MC and my OCs. This will be a "slow" paced story, in fact it's "super slow paced", so please don't expect the MC to directly start his journey in 20 chapters or so, actually multiply that by like 15. A lot is going to happen before that happens. The first 10-20 chapters or so are information heavy, depending on what kind of reader you are. I try to keep my chapter length between 2000 and 3000 words per chapter. My release rate is 4 chapter/week for now. I have a patre*n for those that want to support me with access to some advance chapters as a thank you. patre*n.com/Azrail93 This is an alternate pokemon universe so there will be differences to the games, manga and anime. So if something in the story is different it is most likely on purpose. The original sources are seen as suggestions not laws. Differences can be: Type variants, evolution conditions, strength mechanics, world building and more. If I am at some point asking for reader input I will do so but otherwise I will ignore most suggestions. So please don't spam things like catch this pokemon or do that next. I have my plot planned and external input will be considered when asked for. If I see a suggestion that I believe fit my plot flow I will use it and will credit the commentor. Comments on spelling and grammar mistakes are welcome. I will try to correct said mistakes with time. Constructive criticism will be read and considered. Insult and hate comments will be ignored or deleted depending on severity. Readers naturally can comment their dislike but one worders will be ignored. If the reason for the dislike is explained I will read it. Like previously mentioned pure insults and hate comments will be ignored or deleted. The same is true for simple hate reviews or insulting ones. Reviews complaining about something I warned about, such as the slow pace, will be deleted as well.

Azrail93 · 漫画同人
4.6
798 Chs