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Young Justice: UnReal

漫画同人
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  • 18 章
    內容
  • 4.6
    58 評分
  • NO.200+
    鼎力相助
摘要

[Dave, A young 25 year old man who works hard everyday to realize his dreams, is currently dead. He's been given another chance in a new world due to his unexpected death. Having been Given wishes and sent to a new world, watch as he rocks his new world and quite possibly…the universe. Oh! Along with ladies who can't help but find him irresistible.] ______________________________________________ ______________________________________________ ||Harem||Eventually Overpowered||Non-Beta Mc||Alpha Mc||Smart Mc||Irresistible Mc||Handsome Mc||KryptonianMc||Cold Mc||Slow-Fast Pace Story||Action ||Romance||R-18||DC||Possible Slice Of Slife||Reincarnated Mcl|System||Yandere|| ____________________________________________ ____________________________________________ That's it folks! If there's more, I'll add it. If you like Mc's wishes or the story in general, pls tell me. It could really motivate me to continue the story if I ever feel down or just not in the mood to continue. i know it sounds like I could possibly drop this story and im not gonna say I won't but your motivation would really stop me if I ever planned on dropping. Thanks a lot for giving this story a chance and not just ignoring it, it really means a lot. _____________________________________________ _____________________________________________ *Note: if you see any of my stories on Wattpad, then know they belong to me as long as the username is under Mystic_Lord.* [•Chapter 1 ——> Chapter 11 are nothing more than his time on Krypton while Canon officially starts at Chapter 12. It’s highly recommended to read them as if you don’t then you’ll be highly confused by a lot of things such as his powers, his relationship, his technology, his mindset, his skills and his system. It’s okay if you don’t read it but don’t put comments That show you haven’t read them despite me telling you to. I’ll ignore your comment if you do. That’s it, thank you.•] [Disclaimer: I own nothing but my Character. I also don’t own the cover.] [Also, this is my first time writing so pls take it easy on me and offer constructive criticism. Thanks.]

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BlackStar_BH · 漫画同人
4.7
844 Chs

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ThePandaCritic
ThePandaCriticLv1

This story had potential. But u basically limited yourself. The wishes while it had rules and being 5 the Mc got more than 5 wishes. The Mc have no sort of background what r is goals and belief. What drives him aside for want to live. The system given to the Mc handicap his growth in that he don't hv to try anything he's simply given what ever information he wants. Which to me is pretty boring most ppl read a fan fic to see an Mc grow, there is no room to grow when u can ask your system any question that couldve been learn by himself which could've been used to grow the character. You claim to no not want to nerf your Mc yet in the tournament arc he had to limit his powers. Why because he didn't wanna kill anyone. You could had only be at that strength for sum reason and had his opponents actually give him a proper challenge which would've fuel his growth rather than him walking though the entire thing learning nothing. The choice to fix his wishes rather than him finding a solution himself is rather lazy writing cuz all of those powers I bet there are ways to fix himself in the universe rather than ask god to help. Most of the time u spent creating this love story when simpley most of these girls attracted to him is because of his power rather thann his personality or not superficial reason. Could've been spent where Mc learning science or something interesting ( he's in krypton for godsake a freaking alien planet) rather than telling us he did it. Personally I'm not a fan of a harem when it's not the norm of the present society or has no purpose to the story other fan service. These are just some of the issues with your story to which I think limits it form being a really good fan fic.

Everything_Forever
Everything_ForeverLv14

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