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Pinnacles' Edge

作者: PeachyPearl
现代言情
連載 · 97.3K 流覽
  • 10 章
    內容
  • 4.4
    45 評分
  • N/A
    鼎力相助
摘要

A 24-year old girl was pushed to a corner. She only had herself to rely on so she pushed back harder. Meet me, Xi Jingfei, in a world of violence and revenge... hate and love.... perplexed relationships.... From no one to rely to everyone relying upon me.... my story continues....

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Qing Qian · 现代言情
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Surprise Marriage to a Billionaire

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Eustoma_Reyna · 现代言情
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The Return of the Cannon Fodder Trillion Heiress

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[COMPLETED.] [Mature content.] Chloe Carlson, 35, was a married woman living with her cheating husband— Vincent Gray, and their daughter— Mackenzie. Her failing marriage led her to file a divorce after 10 years, but her husband refused to sign it. “I know what you want Chloe, you want my money after we divorced. You want to take everything from me and I will not let that happen!” Vincent accused. “I don't need your Money, Vincent! I just want to take Mackenzie with me and leave!” At last, she left her bastard husband without taking a cent from him. She was going to carve her own path in life and give her daughter the best in the world. However, things aren’t working so well with a single mother like Chloe. It was difficult to find job because she was a housewife without qualification for a long time. Thus, in desperation as she needed to care for her daughter, she only had one way out. She contacted her brother-in-law— Vernon Phoenix Gray, 25, a young, heartless playboy, who happened to be the CEO of a skyrocketing company, asking him for a job in this tough time. “A job? That's not an issue. You can work as my personal assistant and take care of all my daily needs.” Vernon smirked and leaned in. “Especially in bed,” he whispered in her ear. — Would Chloe fall into the hands of her evil brother-in-law and become a slave of his whim? Or would she return to her abusive scum husband for their daughter’s future? — Note: There is an age gap in this story, Chloe is 35 years old. Vincent is 35 years old. Vernon is 25 years old. -- Official commissioned cover. — Contact me: Instagram: @ForeverPupa Discord: https://discord.gg/m2XPfdmwde --

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CailinMatthews
CailinMatthewsLv12

Chryiss
ChryissLv5

Writing: 5 It’s not perfect. There are some minor mistakes, bu they’re not glaring, so overall it’s passable. My biggest qualm would be the use of Name: for speeches. It should be formatted as Name said/shouted/cried/etc. with an comma quotation or vice versa. Or have gestures and expressions in between speech to let the reader know who’s speaking. It also heightens the reading experience. Updates: 5 Fine enough for me. Story: 4 It’s a different type of story, more like a crime drama, so kudos for doing something uncommon. However, while ambitious, it lacks execution. Rather than feeling suspenseful, it felt like everything was out into the open. Adding more mystery, such as not revealing MC’s true family background and discovering it in a more dramatic way, would greatly increase the lacking *******. MC also is a little too open and not cautious by immediately telling her connections with Zhao to Samuel. It doesn’t quite feel consistent with what I expected/was lead to expect of her character. Moving onto... Characters: 3 The MC is atypical still, so that’s a good point of differentiation from female leads. But, like mentioned earlier, it’s not quite there/the strong-smart FL isn’t fully accomplished/convincing. Additionally, the other characters lacked substance. It felt like some human, realistic puzzle piece was missing. With Samuel, we got his backstory, but somehow, it didn’t strike me in any sentimental way. It felt like a tell without an actual show. I think a lot of the story and character inconsistencies can benefit from deeper delving into their histories and emotions as well as their motivations and beliefs in life. MC’s killing felt anti-climatic, it came too soon. While she showed some real, human reaction to killing a person, it made me wonder why? Why is the way she wants to deal with all her suffering? Does she wish a quick end to only run from the authorities the rest of her life? How about bringing the whole issue to light? Making him suffer more? I couldn’t figure out her innermost pain and anger turned into believable action. Maybe we’ll see some of this later, but the killing still felt...too sudden. Lastly, she accepts her new identity pretty easily. From how she dealt with it and encountered people, it felt like this dual identity didn’t make much of a difference in the story, like it could easily be revised without it. World: 4 Details and descriptions of world and settings were sufficient for basic imagination of the surroundings and construction, but total comprehension and immersion wasn’t quite accomplished. Questions like the standing of families and their connections with the sovereign law and authorities as well as even the entertainment industry considering the amount of times MC sang. (I also didn’t see the connection of this subplot/talent of hers into the whole crime drama.) Overall: 4.2 A story with great ambition in its desire for something different and substantial but one that did not quite achieve all the expectations set for itself. It has the makings for a fabulous crime romance drama, but it drags and speeds up in places where it should do the opposite to create the underlying psychological and philosophical claims and power which spur the story forth in believability and thrill. Once all the pieces are strung together convincingly and cohesively, this is a winner.

yunisao
yunisaoLv13
Take_the_Moon
Take_the_MoonLv5

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