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MMORPG : Ancient WORLD

作者: Aibek
游戏
連載 · 2.6M 流覽
  • 583 章
    內容
  • 4.4
    47 評分
  • NO.200+
    鼎力相助
摘要

Alex is a young man who struggles to make a living in the world's biggest game (Ancient world). He works as a mercenary who does every job he can find. It's been five years since his suffering started. Ancient World creation was only possible by the World's greatest invention, "AI ZERO." Ancient World A vast planet Multiple times the size of Earth Ruled by Great empires, Big organizations, and hidden Shadowy associations. A Fantasy world filled with prehistoric animals that have gone extinct on Earth. The creatures humans have only heard of in fairy tales and old stories, Monsters beyond the imagination of humans, roam the vast lands of the "Ancient World." Everything was going well, but it all changed on that day. When the United States told the World "AI ZERO." and "Ancient World." technology was a gift from a very advanced intergalactic civilization. That has surpassed humanity in any way of life by an uncountable margin. Humanity entered a new era, and the Ancient World became humankind's most important part of life. Alex joined the game to make a living and support his family, but things didn't go as he had hoped. After suffering in the Ancient world, Alex returned five years back in time. Alex knows that the Ancient World is not just a VR game. Now with a new chance in life, Alex will get strong and reach the top while finding the truth about the Ancient World.

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I'm a Pastor, what the hell is an Acute Gastroenteritis Outbreak Spell?!

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1

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DarkLordLinus
DarkLordLinusLv11
Figil
FigilLv11

Especially in the beginning of the novella, let's say the first 50-60 chapters, the writing style was very dry, you could tell that you had no experience. I even wondered if it wasn't generated by artificial intelligence. After that, an undertone began to appear in your writing. But you keep using the main character's name every other sentence...which is very annoying. Use synonyms, speak for him and not in the 3rd person.. there are many options to avoid this annoying repetition. Regarding your writing, in general I like such stories and therefore notice quite a few cons that you could emphasize. The battles are very lean, and the character development is fast-paced. The same goes for the dialogues, which are trite and emotionless…There are also a lot of actions, events that have no logic... such as the watcher, which supposedly cannot be interfered with, and at the beginning it was shown how the contracts under his supervision were secure, but then it turned out that it was not so... which completely contradicts the concept, making this belief absolutely nonsensical. Chapter 291 Revealing The Truth, you say how he wanted to share the responsibility and that's why he trusts gamers he hasn't even seen live. You absolutely trashed your good idea with your organization, you could easily have built it based on mafia organizations or terrorist organizations. Not to mention that there are other secret organizations where they are in different circles. The more you reveal yourself to some, the more vulnerable you become...In order not to ramble on, I'll give some examples where you can see combat mechanics, dialogue, and the ability to keep the reader in suspense. For example Reverend Insanity and Reincarnation Of The Strongest Sword God. Of course even they are only a good attempt compared to true masters of fantasy, such as Steven Erickson or George Martin.

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