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HP: A New World账

作者: jdbeue
作品衍生
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He opened his eyes, and saw himself in an entirely new world. It was very familiar to the one he knew in his previous life, but wait! Is this magic? He is going to Hogwarts? Am I in the world of Harry Potter? ----------------------------------------------------------- For 10 extra chapters: patreon.com/jdbeue Chapter release schedule : 7 chapters per week, one chapter per day Chapter length - 700 words Discord - https://discord.gg/Dpddtatvge

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Chapter 1Where am I?

The last things he saw were headlights. He turned his head to see a huge truck come up to him, and then all turned black. He looked around, slowly drifting in this endless darkness. He could not see anything at all. As he was drifting in this nothingness, all of a sudden, a small peep of light shone on him. He looked at the general direction of the light, and saw where it was coming from. He tried moving towards there, but his body just wouldn't listen to him.

"Damn it! What the hell is wrong with me. Just wake up from this dream Will. You know that this must be because of all the coke you took yesterday.", he said to himself, trying to reassure himself that nothing was wrong with the current situation.

Then, all of a sudden, he felt a huge suctioning force. He was brought closer and closer to the huge light. As he approached the light, he was able to see more and more people near him who were moving to the light just like him. But, he saw something very different in them all. They had blank eyes, and they felt more dead than alive. Will looked around again, and saw an endless sea of people. They were of different ethnicities, and to his horror, some were not even humans. But none of them even looked at him. All of the people around him looked dead center at the light, and were moving towards it at a slow and steady pace.

"Hello? Who are you all? Where am I? What is this place?"

His words just drifted away, unanswered. Will looked at the light, just like everyone else, and looked at the dead center for the first time. Now, his eyes changed from curious ones, to ones filled with horror. He screamed with fear.

"What is that thing? It is eating all of those people. Save me! Don't kill me. Some one, please save me. Some one must be here."

All of his screams were for naught, and he inched closer to the huge mouth at the center of the white light. The light was more like a portal now, and the mouth was devouring all that came near it. Will approached the jaws of the monster, and entered the unknown. Then, the white light seemingly disappeared, and all became black again.

He felt enormous pain, and it felt like his lungs were on fire. He felt the control of his body return back to him, and he opened his eyes, which for some reason, shut instinctively. The world seemed hazy, but he knew something for sure. This was not something that he was familiar with. He opened his mouth, trying to say something, but words did not come out.

He started hearing voices around him.

"Congratulations madam. You have a son. This must me a time to celebrate. I shall inform the Master of the good news.", a feeble voice said. Will turned to the direction of the voice, and all he saw was a grey blot. He started feeling cold, and he started moving to the closest he felt was safe. As he was moving, he heard someone speak.

"Where are you going little one? Come here. Come to mama."

Will turned to the direction of the voice. He spread his arms out to her instinctively, and the woman picked him up. Will snuggled into her arms, and slowly, even the voices around him faded away slowly. In all that muffling sound and the rapid exhaustion that Will was facing, he slowly faded into sleep.

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Spirits_everywhere
Spirits_everywhereLv4

Writing Quality: 5 stars This fanfiction contains good language and grammar in general. There are hardly any major mistakes that would disrupt your flow of reading. Each sentence isn't too long nor does it contain many punctuations. It is good and pleasing to read, and I would rate it 4.7 stars, rounding up to 5. Stability of updates: 5 stars So far, it has been 2 per day, but I'm not sure whether the author is planning to continue this pace. Until this fanfic stabilizes, it would remain at 4.5 stars, rounded up to 5 stars. Story development: 4 stars It's interesting so far, but it doesn't really contain anything that stands out amongst everything out there. The introduction and plot so far is pretty generic, but since it wasn't cringely written or anything like that, it scored better than what I would usually give. I would rate it 4.3-4.5 stars, rounded down to 4 stars. Character Design: 4 stars So far, only the main character's design had been revealed, while the side characters like his parents were barely mentioned at all. I know that we should focus more on the main character, but we cannot neglect the interaction between the side characters and our main character too much. We only know that the mc is born in the royal family as their crown prince, but apart from the few descriptions about the mc's goals, ambitions, morals, ethics, type of personality so far, and little to no descriptions about anything else, I would give it a 4.4-4.6 stars, rounded down to 4 stars. World Background: 5 stars This is a magic and knight's world that is based on a Chinese novel, I suppose. Since the main character's name is Chinese and all. So far, the general power system had been revealed, but the character's power level had not been revealed yet. Since this is a magic and knight's world and supposed fanfiction, the world background should be more or less developed by the original author. Though, since I can't accurately judge how this author is going to develop the world background, until more can be said, I would rate this 4.7-4.8 stars. In total: 4.57 stars, rounded up to 4.6 stars. This is a good read with good language, but until more information about how the author is planning to continue this fanfiction can be revealed, this is sadly going to have only a 4.6-star rating.

Always2nd
Always2ndLv4

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