Julie's Lament.3

Julie often thought about Wallace when they weren't together or talking on the phone. She couldn't help the way her heart thumped in her chest when she'd hear him humming his favourite song while walking Barnaby, or how flustered she'd get when he'd laugh, or even when they'd meet at Old Howdy Harold's Shop and their eyes would meet. Julie had convinced herself that it was simply an admiration of the young man rather than that feeling she tried to forget after the love of her life had passed. Julie would not love again nor would she remarry for any reason, there was no need and she wouldn't let Wallace break her resolve. She knew the young man had fallen in love with her and she couldn't avoid the fact she'd have to say something to him eventually but with his busy work schedule and his less frequent calls, it seemed as if Julie would never get a chance to tell him how she felt. Julie knew her behaviour and body language told Wallace that she had feelings for him but she didn't want to fall in love in fear of losing anyone she loved or that her husband's spirit would be upset seeing her move on. She forced any thought of him out of her head on sleepless nights, when she'd put on her record player she'd try to pretend she hadn't danced with him, when she turned on the TV she tried to skip over the channel that Welcome Home was on so that she would not find herself mesmerized by his honey gaze. Everything she did, heard and saw reminded her of him, she was in love in the worst way. He had unknowingly infested every part of her mind, body and soul. "Oh, Wallace do you have any idea what you've done to me? How could you make a woman love in such a way?" She'd often whisper to herself wishing she had the courage to say something to him, she wished she had his confidence and elegance she envied him just as much as she loved him. Julie was trying to distract herself by tending to her flowers when Wallace stopped by, "Good evening Julie." She was surprised to see him so early in the day usually he came home much later. "What are you doing home so early Wallace?" As she stood from her position by the bushes she realized something was different about Wallace, his hair was down and his eyes were red, he didn't have Barnaby with him like he usually did. "Mh…told me I could go home early." His voice was so quiet just above a whisper. "What about Barnaby? Why isn't he with you?" Julie inquired, Wallace shrugged leaning against the side of her house. "Said they needed him for somethin'...they'll bring him back later…" Wallace mumbled tucking his hair behind his ear. "Oh, I'm glad you decided to stop by but I'm a bit busy as you can see…" She motioned to the wilted bushes beside her and Wallace nodded shuffling back a bit not meeting her gaze. "Sorry to bother you, Julie…" Wallace waved and began to walk away. Julie stood silently for a moment thinking of just letting him go but suddenly having the courage to speak, "You can bother me anytime Wallace! I won't mind!" He opened his mouth to speak but opted to just nod and walk away. Julie knew something was off with him but she wasn't aware of how bad it had gotten until she had insisted that she come over to keep him company, he was a complete wreck.

She was afraid of what he might do even though he had never once hurt her he wasn't himself and when he found her trying to leave for her own safety he freaked.

"Are you…trying to leave me? Don't you love me, dear? DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT ME, JULIE? " Wallace gripped on tight to her arm his once sweet eyes now ripping her apart, "Home and I will fix you. Then you'll see how wonderful we feel." She didn't want to be fixed, she didn't want to know what fixing was. "Wallace. Please let me go." There was an air of desire, Julie's fearful desire to get free and Wallace's desire to keep her like a trophy. A long creak came from down the hall and eyes gleamed in the dark, "Don't be a stranger say hello." The sound of a door slamming shut startled Julie but it made Wallace smile sweetly. "Home says hello, why don't you come out Home? Julie is dying to meet you." From the shadows steps a tall man in a high-collared chequered shirt, Valencia flared pants paired with a blue belt and pointed black leather shoes he wore yellow framed glasses and his pupils practically filled the entirety of his eyes. He looked much older than Wallace, with skin beginning to wrinkle and dark bags under his eyes. His presence made Julie want to run away but she knew that wouldn't be possible now. Home moved his mouth like was speaking but no words came out after he had stopped there was a series of creaks and bangs, "Yes, yes of course." Home furrowed his brow and spoke again sounds of the house being manipulated following suit. "Home- she won't be trouble I promise. She'll be a good girl she'll be just as willing as me. Just let her loosen up a bit and she'll be as good as new!" Wallace forced himself to smile and Home narrowed his eyes at him before waving a dismissive hand towards him now turning his attention to Julie. He gave her a pleasant smile before she was scooped up by a large pale hand, "Wallace!" She shrieked, he didn't look at her, he kept his forced smile and stared at the ground. "Wallace please don't do this!" Julie felt herself tearing up, she felt betrayed, after so long why now did he lose himself? How could she let him break like this? Julie cried even though she felt that she had no place to cry after she had known what Wallace had been through, she couldn't help herself seeing him look so happy yet so sad at the same time, she cried and cried until Home had "fixed" her. In the dazed state she was in she listened to Wallace tell her why he was the way he was.

"I'm so kind to everyone, Julie. Do you know why? It's because my mother and father never were, they wanted a perfectly special son and I had to give that to them do you know what would happen if I wasn't perfect enough? They'd hurt me, Julie, they'd hurt me so bad that sometimes I'd have bruises for weeks. I was so scared Julie, they only loved me when I did what they wanted me to do. They killed my dog when I wasn't perfect enough, they made me watch Julie…my mother locked me in my room when I cried…do you know what that's like Julie? To have parents who only care about you when you're perfect?" Julie couldn't answer him but she felt her heart sink hearing just a fraction of what made him so sweet. It wasn't fair, he suffered quietly without anyone knowing until now. "Oh, Julie. Stay with me until it stops hurting…" The truth was it never would stop but she'd help him, she'd take care of him as Julie Joyful from now on. "I promise to stay with you, Wallace. Don't worry love…"

Julie sniffled remembering his pain knowing that had led him to be so unkind to others to the point of having zero remorse in letting others die to get what he wanted.

"I always loved you, Wallace…"