funny bar mitzvah stories

Apocalypse: I Can See the HP Bar, Killing Monsters Drops Loot

April 4th. The apocalypse descended, mountains and rivers shattered, and the human world turned into purgatory. April 5th. "Brother Wang Tao, before I die, I ask you for a favor, please take care of my wife..." April 7th. Wang Tao unexpectedly discovered that he could not only see the HP bars of living creatures but also that the creatures he killed would drop loot! "Rest in peace, Big Brother. I will definitely take good care of your wife!"

Mountain Ghost Holds the Pen · Sci-fi

This Martial Saint's Health Bar is Too Thick!

In the twenty-seventh year of Hong Guang, the allied forces of seven nations invaded the Great Blue Dynasty. Rifled muskets, mortars, and armored vehicles combined into a steel tide, were ultimately shattered by the Great Blue's armored cavalry. Muscle, magic, firearms, cannons... the new and the old powers continuously collided. In an era of great strife, Li Fei, with the help of a Ten Thousand Blood Bead, gradually became an existence akin to a BOSS: 'Is this the extent of your damage? You haven't even taken off one-thousandth of my health.' 'You don't think this is enough to kill me, do you?' 'Don't rush, the second phase is up next!' ......

The Pen That Can't Fly · Eastern

My Skill Bar is Full of Monster Skills

Raine, who has arrived in a world of fantasy, unexpectedly discovers that his Golden Finger is not a proficiency panel but a Golden Finger that allows him to kill monsters and collect monster bloodlines. 【Name: Raine】【Classes: Farmer】【Blessed Bloodline: Ordinary goblin bloodline】【Bloodline Talent: High-speed Reproduction Lv2...Dexterity Lv1...】【Power: 5】【Agility: 5 (+1)】【Constitution: 5】【Intelligence: 7】【Perception: 5】【Charm: 5】 So, when he looks at those powerful or mutated monsters, many times he does not have the usual fear or dread of adventurers, but rather full of anticipation and hope...

17-pound catfish · Fantasy

Starting from a Bar to Sign Internet Celebrities

Chen Jincheng is reborn in the year 2018 with a "Life Simulation Game", and the game is bound to his MCN media company. Starting by signing the hottest nightclub DJ goddess from his past life in a bar, as he continuously receives rewards from the game, he signs more and more female online celebrities.

Call Me Xiao Guo · Urban

Global Dungeon: I Can See the Status Bar

The era of global dungeon has descended. Lu Wenwu awakens Eye of Insight, gaining the ability to see detailed information of creatures in dungeons. "Having met the Tathagata, why not worship?" In the dungeon, looking at the plump man with a wrapped head sitting on the lotus throne, Lu Wenwu frowned and protected the crowd in front of him. 【Tathagata Buddha/Celestial Demon (S)】hp: 1000/100000000 【Current Status】: Extremely Weak, Flesh and Blood Disguise, Pretending to be Calm, Skill Seal, Nervous Heh, so the Celestial Demon Tathagata Buddha is pretending to be strong. Take a punch from your Grandpa Lu!

Wolf Treasure Meow · Urban

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Angel_of_the_Lord

2021-04-02

This is so bar written. Funny cause I know the type of people who's writing it but omg you could've given a little more thought to the writing. It can be funny and not sound like you just making it up as you go.

That Time I Got Isekai’d To Another World With My Truck!!

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JohnnieWalker

2022-01-30

-- table settings CFG['DRAW_TITLE_TEXT'] = true; TXT['DRAW_TITLE_TEXT'] = 'Show title text'; CFG['DRAW_TITLE_BACKGROUND'] = true; TXT['DRAW_TITLE_BACKGROUND'] = 'Show title background'; CFG['DRAW_BAR_BACKGROUNDS'] = true; TXT['DRAW_BAR_BACKGROUNDS'] = 'Show bar background'; CFG['DRAW_BAR_OUTLINES'] = false; TXT['DRAW_BAR_OUTLINES'] = 'Show bar outlines'; CFG['DRAW_BAR_COLORBLOCK'] = true; -- shows block at the front of the bar with player's color TXT['DRAW_BAR_COLORBLOCK'] = 'Show color block'; CFG['DRAW_BAR_TEXT_PADDING'] = 3; TXT['DRAW_BAR_TEXT_PADDING'] = 'Bar text padding'; MIN['DRAW_BAR_TEXT_PADDING'] = 0; MAX['DRAW_BAR_TEXT_PADDING'] = 35; CFG['DRAW_BAR_TEXT_PADDING_FIXED'] = false; TXT['DRAW_BAR_TEXT_PADDING_FIXED'] = 'Bar text at fixed positions' CFG['DRAW_BAR_USE_PLAYER_COLORS'] = true; TXT['DRAW_BAR_USE_PLAYER_COLORS'] = 'Show player bars with their assigned color'; CFG['DRAW_BAR_USE_UNIQUE_COLORS'] = true; TXT['DRAW_BAR_USE_UNIQUE_COLORS'] = 'Show each type of damage in a different color';

Multiverse Conquest: Rise of the Saiyan Empire.

Thunder_Dawn · Anime & Comics

Hungarian_Horntail

2026-01-22

Don't read the story. It's for your own well being. It's too good. Because for people who like reading Erotica and great stories in general , this story will raise the bar way high and then you will not be satisfied with other stories....

The Devil's Whisper in Naruto (SI/OC)

Vizem · Anime & Comics

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charliesheek

2019-02-14

Nico and Solenn met at a time when neither one of them is seriously looking for THE ONE. Inspiring! Love stories start with pakilig. This should set the bar for millenials to stop looking for THE ONE.

Forever Makes Sense: The SosBolz Love Story

SosBolz · General

8 Chs

Tianxing Time and Space

"Lingyu, remember this. This sword of mine can kill millions of immortals." "Ning Chuan is sitting under the starry sky with Su Lingyu in his arms. Senior Sister, look at the stars in the sky. Not as dazzling as you!" " Su Lingyu grabbed Ning Chuan's ear: What about my remaining half?" It originated from Mount Qinling, the forbidden grounds of the gods, the underworld of the Hall of the Dead, the Heavenly Palace, and the Undying Star Field. The trajectory of fate continued to spin, and the Scroll of Immemorial began to unfold.

Wind, snow, rain

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Hunting girl, silly husband, pick up a husband to farm

The foolish husband that he had exchanged for a pound of flesh had a huge secret hidden in him. What choice would Zhou Yu, who was also plagued by secrets, make when faced with the trouble behind him? Zhou Yu: Are you leaving? A certain man: What is Yuyu talking about? He tilted his head. [Zhou Yu: Don't play dumb, I know you're fine.] [A certain man: I don't understand…] He hugged his wife. What was silly about it? Losing his wife was the most foolish thing.

Sour Plum Wine

· 7.1K Views

Take Senior Brother into the bag

" Complete manuscript, stable update." Everyone said that the eldest son of the Wanqi family was an immortal, but who would have thought that he would like a little beggar? Not only did he carry her on his back, but he also spoke ill of everyone in a serious manner. "Are they calling Chun 'er stupid?" "Chun 'er isn't stupid. They're the ones who are stupid. They're jealous of the candied haws in Chun' er's hands." Senior Brother, are they suspecting that Chun 'er used some underhanded methods?" "No way. Chun 'er is the kindest and most pleasant person. They're just jealous of Chun' er's ability." "Young Sect Master, no matter how powerful and powerful you are, you can't treat us as deaf! We're still here!" "Oh, I'm really sorry. So you're still here." It turned out that in this person's eyes, other than that ancestor, he couldn't see anyone else… Wanqi Chun had been reborn with despair and hatred. He had originally wanted to rope in some forces to improve himself and then take revenge. However, who knew that after her rebirth, things gradually deviated from the track of her memories, and her own background could no longer be confusing. The dream of chatting with the deceased ancestors, the heart demon that had disappeared thousands of years ago but was entangled with him, the treacherous turmoil in the mortal court... Everything made Wanqi Chun's heart float. She was easily gullible, and her mind would always waver, but there was only one thing that she was unwavering about. That was the senior brother who had rescued her from the dark swamp, pampered her, indulged her, pitied her, and loved her, as gentle as a banished immortal.

A certain Yu

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Help, I'm dressed like an interstellar big shot.

Crossing the galaxy, a scumbag brought a mistress to his door. He thought that he was a good-for-nothing, but in the end, the Host's alternate identities came one by one. She even forced herself to marry a husband? Scene 1:" Actually, I'm not your sister." After saying that, he looked at his sister seriously. Her sister gave her a hard slap on the head. Third Brother smacked her head. Her father gave her a heads-up. Her mother smacked her on the head. Big Brother wants her to produce evidence Scene 2: Let Go amp;amp;amp;quot; She hugged a man's thigh and said," I won't let go, I won't let go. I don't want to. If you dare to despise me, hmph, I'll call you molestation." amp;amp;amp;quot; &" Go to the doctor and wake up." amp;amp;amp;quot; &" Let me tell you, I'm very sober. You're not allowed to leave until you register your marriage with me today." amp;amp;amp;quot; The System said,[Host, wake up. We still have to brave the world and the sea of stars. Men will affect the speed at which you draw your sword. Wake up. We can raise fish, but don't let them take you away.]

Don't want to hear the snow

· 5.1K Views

Dressed as the sister of a vicious concubine

Shen Jianing was the youngest daughter of the Prime Minister's wife, and her sister was the most favored Imperial Consort in the Six Palaces. She had a noble status and outstanding looks. He had thought that after getting the script of a winner in life, all he had to do was wait for his death. However, she did not expect that as she walked, she would actually go astray. She had saved her biological sister, but she had become a sick child. When she was terminally ill, Shen Jianing accidentally discovered that being close to Qin Que could extend her lifespan. In order to live and enjoy the glory and wealth, Shen Jianing set her sights on Qin Que. When someone bullied Qin Que, she would pull out her sister to suppress them. When Qin Que had no food to eat, she would hold the pastries that she couldn't bear to eat and fawn over him. When Qin Que scolded her, she would only squat at the side and draw circles pitifully. She had protected Qin Que as if he was a child. She had thought that she would be able to keep him when he grew up, so that she could live past a hundred years old. However, he didn't expect that after he grew up, this brat's wings would grow hard. He went to the border and disappeared.

Gu Jinsi

· 4K Views