Iβm just reading this for fun, but I also have critiques if the author wants to be better as a writer. If youβre also writing this for fun then take this review with a grain of salt, but still read it(Hopefully this wonβt make you emo teenager upset, Iβm just trying to get your head on straight).
1. Mc gets 3 gacha rewards and goes to naruto world, and in the most cliche way-starts chakra training around the age of 2. How dumb is that, you literally couldβve had him start at 6 or 7, and then work your way to being op. Thereβs this fake drama the author wrote, to try and offset how moronic his characters decisions are to get strong so early, which leads to his shinobi parents becoming a bit suspicious about his training and obvious maturity and wisdom(Idc if mc has limitless improvement, still a hot dumpster take AT age 2). Getting strong from the VERY start when youβre born-is insanely cliche and overdone, it doesnβt reward anything and makes everything seem redundant.
2. Another mind palace bs ability, mc has also started on it age 2. Apparently has knowledge how to do it because plot, a lot of authors do this and it shows non-critical thinking and lack of intelligence on their part.
3. Grammar is good, story seems ok right now. I donβt mind op stories, but the fact that youβre just instantly getting to it instead of growing from weak to strong is abysmal. You gotta find a balance because you are the author, itβs your job to make a story entertaining without bs plot devices and drama for the sake of drama that adds nothing to character development or story progression.
Also be realistic in some cases, like what made you think having your mc start chakra training at age 2 was a smart idea? In a shinobi world, everyone would find that suspicious and think of you as an anomaly or worse, ESPECIALLY the parents. Now youβve written yourself in a corner and have to find a way to justify it, which couldβve been avoided if you just started at least 4 years later. Common sense goes a long way into these stories, donβt let anyone tell you different.
