webnovel
AkGreyback
AkGreybackLv21mth
2024-10-21 13:25

I'm really looking forward to read more and author thank you creating such a good Mc, I always liked Smart and hard working Mc not the Cliché Mc who asked God for a 'System' to become strong. Without Hard work you won't able to become strong. ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... .....

Liked by 12 people

LIKE
Replies1
DreamSomeday
DreamSomedayAuthor

I’m glad you’re liking Satoshi. Hope you continue to stick around.

Other Reviews
AlanCee
AlanCeeLv14

I’m just reading this for fun, but I also have critiques if the author wants to be better as a writer. If you’re also writing this for fun then take this review with a grain of salt, but still read it(Hopefully this won’t make you emo teenager upset, I’m just trying to get your head on straight). 1. Mc gets 3 gacha rewards and goes to naruto world, and in the most cliche way-starts chakra training around the age of 2. How dumb is that, you literally could’ve had him start at 6 or 7, and then work your way to being op. There’s this fake drama the author wrote, to try and offset how moronic his characters decisions are to get strong so early, which leads to his shinobi parents becoming a bit suspicious about his training and obvious maturity and wisdom(Idc if mc has limitless improvement, still a hot dumpster take AT age 2). Getting strong from the VERY start when you’re born-is insanely cliche and overdone, it doesn’t reward anything and makes everything seem redundant. 2. Another mind palace bs ability, mc has also started on it age 2. Apparently has knowledge how to do it because plot, a lot of authors do this and it shows non-critical thinking and lack of intelligence on their part. 3. Grammar is good, story seems ok right now. I don’t mind op stories, but the fact that you’re just instantly getting to it instead of growing from weak to strong is abysmal. You gotta find a balance because you are the author, it’s your job to make a story entertaining without bs plot devices and drama for the sake of drama that adds nothing to character development or story progression. Also be realistic in some cases, like what made you think having your mc start chakra training at age 2 was a smart idea? In a shinobi world, everyone would find that suspicious and think of you as an anomaly or worse, ESPECIALLY the parents. Now you’ve written yourself in a corner and have to find a way to justify it, which could’ve been avoided if you just started at least 4 years later. Common sense goes a long way into these stories, don’t let anyone tell you different.

Carrottop
CarrottopLv1
Related Stories

Naruto: Destroy the Sarutobi Clan At the Beginning

Fujiwara kirito traveled to the Naruto world, and the opening was the night of the Nine-tailed Fox. Naruto was born,and I traveled. I accidentally saved Uchiha Izumi. There are only seven years left before the night of genocide. The third Hokage wants to destroy the Uchiha clan, Danzo wants to destroy the Uchiha clan, and Obito wants to destroy the Uchiha clan. My girlfriend is about to face life-threatening danger. What should I do? There is no way. On the night of genocide, in order to save my girlfriend. I had to make a deal with Obito, and then took my girlfriend to join the Akatsuki organization. I swear that joining Akatsuki is not for Konan. ps:-This is an Chinese Translation https://69shu.me/book/44381.htm every credits belong to author himself and the characters -------------------------------------------------------- This Fanfic's Schedule for the week, updates on: Tuesday, Wednesday, and Saturday. ---------------------------------------------- With gratitude and enthusiasm, Qingtian! And your Smith welcomes you to the John Smith Fanfics! An exploration across different universes, be prepared for adventure! With over 5000 words published! Current Exploration: Naruto:The Rise of Uchiha (3Ch/Week) Naruto: Destroy the Sarutobi Clan At the Beginning (3ch/Week). Explore the Unexplored! Become an exclusive supporter on Patreon and unlock advanced chapters -> John Smith | Patreon https://www.patreon.comJohn_smith_ Add/Before John_smith_

Stephen_Hart78 · Anime & Comics
3.8
78 Chs