I’m just reading this for fun, but I also have critiques if the author wants to be better as a writer. If you’re also writing this for fun then take this review with a grain of salt, but still read it(Hopefully this won’t make you emo teenager upset, I’m just trying to get your head on straight). 1. Mc gets 3 gacha rewards and goes to naruto world, and in the most cliche way-starts chakra training around the age of 2. How dumb is that, you literally could’ve had him start at 6 or 7, and then work your way to being op. There’s this fake drama the author wrote, to try and offset how moronic his characters decisions are to get strong so early, which leads to his shinobi parents becoming a bit suspicious about his training and obvious maturity and wisdom(Idc if mc has limitless improvement, still a hot dumpster take AT age 2). Getting strong from the VERY start when you’re born-is insanely cliche and overdone, it doesn’t reward anything and makes everything seem redundant. 2. Another mind palace bs ability, mc has also started on it age 2. Apparently has knowledge how to do it because plot, a lot of authors do this and it shows non-critical thinking and lack of intelligence on their part. 3. Grammar is good, story seems ok right now. I don’t mind op stories, but the fact that you’re just instantly getting to it instead of growing from weak to strong is abysmal. You gotta find a balance because you are the author, it’s your job to make a story entertaining without bs plot devices and drama for the sake of drama that adds nothing to character development or story progression. Also be realistic in some cases, like what made you think having your mc start chakra training at age 2 was a smart idea? In a shinobi world, everyone would find that suspicious and think of you as an anomaly or worse, ESPECIALLY the parents. Now you’ve written yourself in a corner and have to find a way to justify it, which could’ve been avoided if you just started at least 4 years later. Common sense goes a long way into these stories, don’t let anyone tell you different.
Liked by 59 people
LIKEWhy are you being so authoritative and sarcastic? If you wanted the author to genuinely respect your criticism, then being formal and focused on constructive criticism should be how you go about it. To me it just seems like you're trying to drive a reaction out of the author rather than being actually helpful.
La historia tiene sus buenos argumentos para que el protagonista sea OP, osea consiguió el talento de apolo en el Arte y demás, que eso lo debe de ayudar al momento de hacer ilusiones y el paisaje mental Después tiene la fuerza y demás, tiene un rompe limites cómo tercera recompensa, puedes imaginarte cómo si fuera Saitama, pero desde su nacimiento. Es Op desde el nacimiento, pero tiene sus buenos argumentos, fue un neurocirujano muy talentoso en su vida pasada y murio a los 80 años, y aparentemente no importandole muchas cosas, cosas que ahora valora por lo menos más que antes. Al contrario, me parece que un hombre de 80 años atrapado en un cuerpo del niño teniendo las características cómo describe que era, sería raro, y el autor se aseguró de qué este bien explicado y argumentado, de eso no hay duda. No es cómo otras historia donde el Prota es muy poderoso de la nada y porqué si y porqué Dios sabe porqué y para qué, y uno no quiere seguir leyendo porqué sabe cómo continuará.
Itachi didnt serve but his father took him out unto the fields to show him the realities of war. But the point still stands since itachi actually could grasp the nature of the lesson his father was teaching him. Thats actually more my problem with this story. Its clearly shown in the naruto story that gifted shinobi like Kakashi, itachi are growing at a much faster pace that they can be "functioning" shinobi as early as the age 4 because the existence of charka accelerate the growth of mindset. The whole thing in this story of him being a "vegetable" until the age of 2 was more immersion breaking for me.