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Pluto28
Pluto28Lv137mth
2024-10-05 20:58

i was expecting great things at first but as the story goes on, it has hardly any development on the mc's character, he acts like an intelligent person with great plans but in reality it is not. Bis character development is very weak to say rhe least. Not a great story.

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Replies5
Mulato_69
Mulato_69Lv4

by Chapter 60 or so the story is actually good

LimboOEscritor
LimboOEscritorLv2

kkkkk isso é uma piada?

Mulato_69:by Chapter 60 or so the story is actually good
Alfiemooon
AlfiemooonLv4

it should be good from chapter one. only beginning to get good at such a late chapter does nothing but make the author look incompetent.

Mulato_69:by Chapter 60 or so the story is actually good
Mulato_69
Mulato_69Lv4

I gave the story a chance even though the story is not consistent on a per chapter progression. Initial reactions does make you confused but I think its that confusing and unexpected story development that makes his story really good. The author mmkeeps you guessing and that makes the story intriguing

Alfiemooon:it should be good from chapter one. only beginning to get good at such a late chapter does nothing but make the author look incompetent.
Ismir_Atreides
Ismir_AtreidesLv4

It's still not good even after 128 chapters, dude😅 I would say it become even worse with arrogant and stupid MC, who created enemies all around the Westeros The author had a good idea and was not a bad start, but then he lost the main course of the plot, broke the characters' development, and it became boring esse about how cool and strong MC was and how stupid people all around. Don't know where you saw a good plot or improvements

Mulato_69:by Chapter 60 or so the story is actually good
Other Reviews
TruthOnlyReader
TruthOnlyReaderLv5

I am not gonna go through my usual review table, but instead, straight up, tell my thoughts for this story. But my review is just criticism for the story, and hopefully, the author can grow from this. So first, for writing quality, it gets 2 stars. The reason I gave it this is because the grammar is fine and passable, but I do not like the transition at all. It felt very annoying with the transition of the timeskip to another it wasn't a smooth one at all. In fact, it was very incredibly annoying, especially with how quickly everything fell into place. I also didn't understand Daemon characters in the story whatsoever. To me, it never made sense how much why he disliked Aemon. I know it's your version of Daemon, and that's fine, but in my personal opinion, Daemon is not this much of a pain towards his own child, especially a son. He has a view of Targaryen supremacy, but the fact that his son had a dragon should mean that he is proud of him, especially since he looked more Valyrian than Royce. It's been stated that the MC looks like Aemon Son of Jaehaerys rather than a Royce. Viserys disliking him early in his childhood doesn't make sense also, why would he be jealous of his grandmother liking his grandson more. Isn't it like that for every old person who has grandchildren. I think he would've appreciated Aemon more. Lastly, his disinheritance of the line is just stupid. It wouldn't matter if he was Daemon's child. He would've been looked upon as a still favorably, especially as a Dragon rider and someone who was greatly cared for by Alysanne. It genuinely never made sense to me. Aemon is fine playing passive, but the way you just skimmed over the details is really annoying, but I get you want to go ahead and do the dance. I don't really like your depiction of Rhaenyra. Sure, Daemon could've influenced her to think that way, but her mother was an Arryn. She was raised more by her mother than her father. It doesn't matter if her maternal grandmother was a Targaryen. She is basically one-quarter Targaryen. With Aemon just being half, he had a bastard who is basically the same thing? Daemon is someone who hates people who don't look Targaryen. Rhaenyra's attitude, especially to someone who is like a year younger than her, doesn't make sense to me. Especially since she was raised by her mother. Sure, she is fierce and immature, but to hate someone you don't know is something she wouldn't do, especially due to her mother and her father being so kind. Story Development Wise, I gave it a 2 because I genuinely am confused about how this is heading. He is intelligent, but he genuinely doesn't know how to use it that well. He reinforces Runestone, but he doesn't grab more power for himself in the Arryn? It doesn't feel like he is doing that. Sure, avoiding the game of thrones will make you live and win. But literally, he has to play it. He is a royal prince. He can't disappear and be forgotten about, especially with a dragon that is capable of being the size of Balerion. It genuinely doesn't make sense that he doesn't play the game. Sure, he avoids it, but I want to see more chapters of him playing it better without being cringe. The rest are 5 stars because everything is fine except those concepts I mentioned. I feel like you need to work more on flushing out the characters and being more immersed in the world of ASOIAF, I just feel like this is just a regular typical self insert. I know you are writing this as a passion, and that's fine. Keep writing. Don't take my suggestions or my critics too seriously. These are just my opinions. Other than that,keep writing, keep going. Thank you for reading.

FitzMagna
FitzMagnaLv4
SeniorTrouble
SeniorTroubleLv4
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