ok so I have thoughts. first this is your story you do you. having said that a couple things stand out. one is that there is no detail on the how or why of the matter, just he "did it". I've only got to chapter ten and can see several loopholes. first, how did he get to the leaky cauldron, how did he get the respect of the goblins, how did he immediately identify Daphne. so on and so fourth. there is no how. on the other hand. the actions of the background charaters make no sense. like at all. not at any point have I seen a reaction beyond " OMG HE AMAZING". not that that can't happen but it goes back to WHY. what is the thought process of them making there, kinda ridiculous, choices. I think the premise of the story as huge potential. but needs more thought put into it. I think you can make a real entertaining story with a little more time and practice.
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You make some points, so let me try to adress as many as I can: If you read the description you would know that he read some of Harry Potter and even watched some of it, though he doesn't remember it all that well. Getting to the Leaky Cauldron, while I hadn't detailed it, he read the inscriptions on the plates above the entrances to stores. As for the Goblins, it was his courage and lack of hesitation that earned him that respect+his fame due to being...well Harry. and yeah it's my bad for the characters actions (I did quite the bad Job with them,huh), but I still hope you'll enjoy it as you read on an keep these things like his knowledge in mind. No hard feelings and thanks for the constructive criticsm.
mad respect to you for taking constructive criticism and not raging or deleting the post. For my experiences I only read 2-3 star reviews. They are honest and point out the worse of a story, that just leaves me to see if it crosses my bottom line. From these two posts, I'll be reading this.
WRizz1:You make some points, so let me try to adress as many as I can: If you read the description you would know that he read some of Harry Potter and even watched some of it, though he doesn't remember it all that well. Getting to the Leaky Cauldron, while I hadn't detailed it, he read the inscriptions on the plates above the entrances to stores. As for the Goblins, it was his courage and lack of hesitation that earned him that respect+his fame due to being...well Harry. and yeah it's my bad for the characters actions (I did quite the bad Job with them,huh), but I still hope you'll enjoy it as you read on an keep these things like his knowledge in mind. No hard feelings and thanks for the constructive criticsm.
