Item: Harry Potter: Toji Potter
Rating: 3
Author: Jay0Kay

Jay0KayLv43mth

2024-09-29 09:17

The entire story feels rushed and practically screams ai generated

Harry Potter: Toji Potter

WRizz1

3.5

102 Chs

Liked by 6 people

Replies3

WRizz1Author

Very well then, tell me, how do I better myself? I‘m a very new writer and I am doing this for not even a full month yet, so I certainly may have many areas, where I might be able to make it better.

3mth

Jay0KayLv4

I guess to start it off the bolding of character names makes it seem like it was ai generated, You made toji into a perfect character with no flaws, flawless characters can exist, but they are hard to write. next off there is a lot of exposition, which isn't a bad thing, you just haven't had and work shown in the novel, you said toji trained, but you never described what he did or how he did it. The entire story feels more like a summary of a story than an actual story

WRizz1:Very well then, tell me, how do I better myself? I‘m a very new writer and I am doing this for not even a full month yet, so I certainly may have many areas, where I might be able to make it better.

3mth

Jay0KayLv4

keep working hard, I don't mean to diss you, creating is hard work takes time and practice

WRizz1:Very well then, tell me, how do I better myself? I‘m a very new writer and I am doing this for not even a full month yet, so I certainly may have many areas, where I might be able to make it better.

3mth

Other Reviews

JaxWolf4Lv4

Toji spotted.

3mth

WRizz1Author

Hope you enjoy this and comment, drop Stones and review. It doesn’t take too much time 😁

3mth

DanuleLv15

ok so I have thoughts. first this is your story you do you. having said that a couple things stand out. one is that there is no detail on the how or why of the matter, just he "did it". I've only got to chapter ten and can see several loopholes. first, how did he get to the leaky cauldron, how did he get the respect of the goblins, how did he immediately identify Daphne. so on and so fourth. there is no how. on the other hand. the actions of the background charaters make no sense. like at all. not at any point have I seen a reaction beyond " OMG HE AMAZING". not that that can't happen but it goes back to WHY. what is the thought process of them making there, kinda ridiculous, choices. I think the premise of the story as huge potential. but needs more thought put into it. I think you can make a real entertaining story with a little more time and practice.

1mth

zahra_kianpourLv3

So coollllll 🥰😍😌😌😉😍🥰😘😘😍🙃🙂😊☺️☺️😊🙂🙂😇😊😊☺️☺️💕💗💗💗🙏🏻 Please update don’t stop ✋ . . . . . . Gh❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

robert_wylieLv1

it reads like a mix between a ff .net novel and AI generated. harry potter goes to Gringotts, gets his heritage tested (and gets multiple lordships of course)and horcrux removed, all things you see a million times on ff .net. acts like a young master and hates dumbledore. again, it just reads like a weirdly written bashing fic. if you know you know.

23d

FluffyPanda44Lv4

Just your average OP reincarnate fanfic with confusing story developments. It also seems like it’s also a harem.

2mth

AlexPendragonLv1

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3mth

DaddyCarvzLv4

So I reach till Dumbledore versus Voldemort. I am waiting to have at least 50 more chapters so I can binge read again like what I did with the One Piece one. Again it's not perfect but for someone just starting and actually doing this for free, author is doing great. There are some parts of inconsistency. A lot of earlier ideas of MC on what to do got forgotten then on latter parts brought out like it was the first time. But overall salute to author. Keep it up and I'm waiting for more

nameless_bladeLv5

well this novel has its unique take on harry potter , but I am sure its written by an stupid oldman who just keep yapping everything and anything.

2mth

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