Danule

I'm at the end of chapter 2 and have read the same line four times now. yes they don't trust eachother but you don't need to keep repeating it. takes away from the story. also pacing is way to slow friend. again because you keep repeating points you have already made. aside from that I think it has promis and I don't feel like I'm experiencing an aneurism reading it.

+1

you are not a man of culture for not getting that

I love all of your stories. they each have a little trouble starting off but when you get going you get freaking going

ok so I have thoughts. first this is your story you do you. having said that a couple things stand out. one is that there is no detail on the how or why of the matter, just he "did it". I've only got to chapter ten and can see several loopholes. first, how did he get to the leaky cauldron, how did he get the respect of the goblins, how did he immediately identify Daphne. so on and so fourth. there is no how. on the other hand. the actions of the background charaters make no sense. like at all. not at any point have I seen a reaction beyond " OMG HE AMAZING". not that that can't happen but it goes back to WHY. what is the thought process of them making there, kinda ridiculous, choices. I think the premise of the story as huge potential. but needs more thought put into it. I think you can make a real entertaining story with a little more time and practice.

Conan exiles. palworld( lolz). maby overlord if not there( I skimmed the list, there is a lot there).

WAIT!!!! Did he at least clear is history. ;)

yes. yes you are.

thanks for chap. but your other stories haven't been updated in at LEAST 3 months

book Percy or show Percy.