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mido_3957
mido_3957Lv12mth
2024-10-07 07:43

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Hooin_Kyoma
Hooin_KyomaAuthor

Thank you for the review!

Other Reviews
LKingu
LKinguLv10

Review: Quality (3) | Stability (4) | Story Development (2) | Character Design (2) | World-Building (2) The first ten chapters were relatively enjoyable, with some writing flaws and an occasionally irritating protagonist, but it served as a decent casual read. Unfortunately, the story started to decline after that. I follow the "rule of three strikes” on bad stories, and this story hits all I. Forced Character Actions:The characters often feel contrived, with decisions made to serve the plot rather than develop naturally. II. Poor World Integration: The mix of settings between LOTM nd Harry Potter was mishandled. I would’ve preferred a clearer, more consistent world-building approach by stricking being HP or at least introducing the LOTM more gradually. III. Overly Forced Plot: The story's progression feels too artificial, with key events like the MC’s accidental encounters, a sudden death of a potential adoptive parent, and the mentor’s untimely demise all leading to an abrupt introduction of a lady who expected the MC’s arrival, has heard a prophecy involving him, and who is also apparently a High Sequence Beyonder. This was honestly the one that ticked me off the most. The rushed pacing really detracts from the narrative, and all the “hints” and “foreshadowing” are awkward and offer no sibstance to the story — far too superficial. A more effective approach would have been to gradually introduce some aspects of LOTM, rather than overwhelming the reader with them early on. In comparison, THE DIRECT INSPIRATIONS, Harry Potter and LOTM subtly build toward their prophecies over time, which creates a more engaging and immersive experience than this fanfic. Overall, while this story isn’t for me, it’s still an improvement over some other works, like that dawn awfull **** **** stupid Isekai Dimensional Cube novel (I hate that novel).

Bierbart
BierbartLv14
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Jon Snow, a boy destined for a life of contempt by almost everyone around him, but a divine intervention can change everything. The boy who will pave the way to build the most powerful nation in the world. I crafted this story with a focus on the creation of a kingdom, battles, economy, navigation, and exploration of the entire universe of Planetos, with a central character in mind. Am I wealthy? The Stormlands, Dorne, the Reach, and the Westerlands all want to establish trade agreements with me. And the East? I have trade agreements with Braavos, Pentos, Myr, Tyrosh, Lys, and Volantis. I can negotiate with everyone in Essos, except in the Slaver's Bay after I stole 100,000 chained men from them. So, do you have enemies in Essos? About that? I indeed have quite a few. I started by stealing slaves from them, then raised a khalasar and began a bloodbath in the Dothraki Sea for fun. I was even named a Khal in Vaes Dothrak. Not to mention, the last time I went to Essos, I toppled the Titan's statue in Braavos. They wanted to stop me from destroying the House of Black and White. That day wasn't very pleasant for the Braavosi. Wow, and the kingdoms below the Wall? The Wall? It no longer exists; I brought it down a while ago. I took the North as part of my kingdom and left the South of the Neck to the Southerners. They tried to reclaim the kingdom, but now the Southerners tremble when they feel my armies on their lands. I've personally killed one or two of their kings. Really? Yes, ask what's left of Oldtown. I would answer, it turned to ashes. Lannisport? I burned it. Casterly Rock? It's at the bottom of the sea. The Twins? I blew up the entire place. King's Landing? The city is standing, but the Red Keep is history. -------------------------------------------- This Fanfic's Schedule for the week, updates on: Sunday, Tuesday and Friday. ---------------------------------------------- With gratitude and enthusiasm, Raccoon! And your raccoon welcomes you to the Raccoon League! An exploration across different universes, be prepared for adventure! With over 1 million words published! ---- Current explorations: One Piece: I am a Different Luffy! (7 Chapters/Week) Danmachi: Infinite Mana System! (3 Chapters/Week) Game of Thrones: The Legend of Jon Artica! (3 Chapters/Week) Naruto: Light Ninja! (3 Chapters/Week) Naruto: Minato Namikase SI! (3 Chapters/Week) The Witcher: As Uchiha Madara! (3 Chapters/Week) HP: Shadow Monarch! (3 Chapters/Week) Game of Thrones: DragonBorn! (1 Chapter/Week) ---- Explore the Unexplored! Become an exclusive supporter on Patreon and unlock advanced chapters -> RaccoonLeague | Patreon https://www.patreon.com/RaccoonLeague

RaccoonLeague · Book&Literature
4.6
187 Chs