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A_Sleepless_dream
A_Sleepless_dreamLv147mth
2024-08-31 18:58

Good story cool ideas but story overall: Mc doesn’t know the world he is in nor have any understanding of magic / HP kinda get annoying when he says it 100 times and demonstrates that over and over again…. He let himself be murrdered and beaten down with his sister threatened and almost raped. Mc doesn’t look to have any guts or understanding or plan forward it is all riding on beyonders and lord of mysteries Great set up for what you have

Liked by 24 people

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Replies7
Hooin_Kyoma
Hooin_KyomaAuthor

Thank you for the review, perhaps this novel is not for you, but I understand your criticisms. Thank you for reading and leaving a review.

grav1ty24
grav1ty24Lv2

Thanks for the warning

A_Sleepless_dream
A_Sleepless_dreamLv14

U did an amazing job. And it is a great story.

Hooin_Kyoma:Thank you for the review, perhaps this novel is not for you, but I understand your criticisms. Thank you for reading and leaving a review.
Absurd_Idiot
Absurd_IdiotLv1

1). That's the PREVIOUS Loki(The One that hasn't had his soul replaced by our MC). 2). Bro, this is the LOTM World, everything can kill you, infact, do you know that Dumbledore is a Seq.1 KOA of the Visionary Pathway in this Fanfic. 3). Read 50 Chapters First, THEN you give a Review.

Elverton_Clarke
Elverton_ClarkeLv4

No offense but if it takes 50 chapters for a story to get "interesting" then that's the sign of a bad fic.

Absurd_Idiot:1). That's the PREVIOUS Loki(The One that hasn't had his soul replaced by our MC). 2). Bro, this is the LOTM World, everything can kill you, infact, do you know that Dumbledore is a Seq.1 KOA of the Visionary Pathway in this Fanfic. 3). Read 50 Chapters First, THEN you give a Review.
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hf12881
hf12881Lv4

dude🤦‍♂️spoilers

Absurd_Idiot:1). That's the PREVIOUS Loki(The One that hasn't had his soul replaced by our MC). 2). Bro, this is the LOTM World, everything can kill you, infact, do you know that Dumbledore is a Seq.1 KOA of the Visionary Pathway in this Fanfic. 3). Read 50 Chapters First, THEN you give a Review.
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Absurd_Idiot
Absurd_IdiotLv1

Yes

hf12881:dude🤦‍♂️spoilers
Other Reviews
LKingu
LKinguLv12

Review: Quality (3) | Stability (4) | Story Development (2) | Character Design (2) | World-Building (2) The first ten chapters were relatively enjoyable, with some writing flaws and an occasionally irritating protagonist, but it served as a decent casual read. Unfortunately, the story started to decline after that. I follow the "rule of three strikes” on bad stories, and this story hits all I. Forced Character Actions:The characters often feel contrived, with decisions made to serve the plot rather than develop naturally. II. Poor World Integration: The mix of settings between LOTM nd Harry Potter was mishandled. I would’ve preferred a clearer, more consistent world-building approach by stricking being HP or at least introducing the LOTM more gradually. III. Overly Forced Plot: The story's progression feels too artificial, with key events like the MC’s accidental encounters, a sudden death of a potential adoptive parent, and the mentor’s untimely demise all leading to an abrupt introduction of a lady who expected the MC’s arrival, has heard a prophecy involving him, and who is also apparently a High Sequence Beyonder. This was honestly the one that ticked me off the most. The rushed pacing really detracts from the narrative, and all the “hints” and “foreshadowing” are awkward and offer no sibstance to the story — far too superficial. A more effective approach would have been to gradually introduce some aspects of LOTM, rather than overwhelming the reader with them early on. In comparison, THE DIRECT INSPIRATIONS, Harry Potter and LOTM subtly build toward their prophecies over time, which creates a more engaging and immersive experience than this fanfic. Overall, while this story isn’t for me, it’s still an improvement over some other works, like that dawn awfull **** **** stupid Isekai Dimensional Cube novel (I hate that novel).

Bierbart
BierbartLv14
ILove_Hayan048
ILove_Hayan048Lv4

My main problem with this novel is the main character. To put it bluntly he is a retard. He is a transmigrator so don't give me the "but he is still 11 years old and is weak" I do not hate the fact that he knows nothing of the HP world in fact I love it as I am sick and tired of fanfic MCs doing the same thing over and over because they have meta knowledge but what I have issues with is his stupidity. In the early chapters he is a street urchin with a 4 year old sister but then instead of doing whatever is necessary so he and his sister would survive and be safe the retarded son of gun decided that holding on to his modern day saintly morals is the right thing to do. They are struggling but instead of using the money to at least secure themselves he donates it to charity and orphanages like wtf also even if he is an average joe, the mere fact that he came from the modern world already gave him innate advantages even I could think of a few things that would earn me enough money to at least not live in the streets. At least until the chapter where I stopped he feels like a brainless character being dragged around by the plot, he doesn't take charge of his and his sister's life sustained by his massive plot armor. In summary, he is like a classic JP isekai MC. If it were any other person they would have long been taken advantage of as they won't suddenly have a thief who was angry at them for stealing in their territory as their teacher for stealing because coincidentally they lack a partner. He complains that his sufferings are unfair which in fact if only he stopped and thought about what he was going to do for a while he could have totally avoided the shit he finds himself in. If his attitude changes in the future or he remains as a retard then tell me. I can't bring myself to read a story following someone like this even if he becomes overpowered in the future what is the use when it all comes down to plot convenience and luck. The thing that drew me to LoTM is the sheer effort Klein had to do with the hand he is dealt with, he thinks and thinks as one wrong step he could die, I think the author is aiming for something similar but messed up the execution which resulted to this.....anyways I am usually not so critical about fanfics as I treat them as Junkfood but being one of the few LoTM fanfics and it's even a rare cross over with a franchise I also really like (Harry Potter) I can't help but have some expectations then they were dashed by the MC which is why I am now ranting so much due to my frustration. Anyways that is all.

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FictionOnlyReader · Book&Literature
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