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Miky_Mate
Miky_MateLv143mth
2024-08-22 17:58

This is kinda trash I’m ngl, the grammar is horrible (borderline unreadable) the story feels very robotic and emotionless

Liked by 5 people

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Replies4
ThePpp_Pppp
ThePpp_PpppAuthor

Mind being a bit more throughout, I would like to hear all the criticism you have so I can improve further. What part of the dialogue felt off and so on.

Gato_Bolado
Gato_BoladoLv2

He's a hater, he can hate literally anything for no reason at all.

ThePpp_Pppp:Mind being a bit more throughout, I would like to hear all the criticism you have so I can improve further. What part of the dialogue felt off and so on.
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Rovontheus
RovontheusLv4

The interaction although it might be funny but it lacks emotion and I don't mind the use of ai but you should focus on your “story telling” that's the part where you need to work the most. It's kinda boring when everything feels robotic. it felt too light-hearted, the fights, the jokes and the interaction between characters. I don't know if you understand my criticism but hey I'm only sharing it cause you asked for it.

ThePpp_Pppp:Mind being a bit more throughout, I would like to hear all the criticism you have so I can improve further. What part of the dialogue felt off and so on.
image
ThePpp_Pppp
ThePpp_PpppAuthor

Bet, thanks for the critique, ignore my first reply, I though this was my hyuga story

Rovontheus:The interaction although it might be funny but it lacks emotion and I don't mind the use of ai but you should focus on your “story telling” that's the part where you need to work the most. It's kinda boring when everything feels robotic. it felt too light-hearted, the fights, the jokes and the interaction between characters. I don't know if you understand my criticism but hey I'm only sharing it cause you asked for it.
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