webnovel
Miky_Mate
Miky_MateLv147mth
2024-08-22 17:58

This is kinda trash I’m ngl, the grammar is horrible (borderline unreadable) the story feels very robotic and emotionless

The yellow flash of jujutsu high

ThePpp_Pppp
4.0
240 Chs

Liked by 8 people

LIKE
Replies7
ThePpp_Pppp
ThePpp_PpppAuthor

Mind being a bit more throughout, I would like to hear all the criticism you have so I can improve further. What part of the dialogue felt off and so on.

7mth
2
Gato_Bolado
Gato_BoladoLv2

He's a hater, he can hate literally anything for no reason at all.

ThePpp_Pppp:Mind being a bit more throughout, I would like to hear all the criticism you have so I can improve further. What part of the dialogue felt off and so on.
image
7mth
Rovontheus
RovontheusLv4

The interaction although it might be funny but it lacks emotion and I don't mind the use of ai but you should focus on your “story telling” that's the part where you need to work the most. It's kinda boring when everything feels robotic. it felt too light-hearted, the fights, the jokes and the interaction between characters. I don't know if you understand my criticism but hey I'm only sharing it cause you asked for it.

ThePpp_Pppp:Mind being a bit more throughout, I would like to hear all the criticism you have so I can improve further. What part of the dialogue felt off and so on.
image
4mth
2
ThePpp_Pppp
ThePpp_PpppAuthor

Bet, thanks for the critique, ignore my first reply, I though this was my hyuga story

Rovontheus:The interaction although it might be funny but it lacks emotion and I don't mind the use of ai but you should focus on your “story telling” that's the part where you need to work the most. It's kinda boring when everything feels robotic. it felt too light-hearted, the fights, the jokes and the interaction between characters. I don't know if you understand my criticism but hey I'm only sharing it cause you asked for it.
4mth
G1LGAMESH
G1LGAMESHLv14

Don’t bother with him man. He’s straight up a hater in every sense. I mean, look at all his latest comments, all complaining.

ThePpp_Pppp:Mind being a bit more throughout, I would like to hear all the criticism you have so I can improve further. What part of the dialogue felt off and so on.
image
2mth
Daoistoq5Zg8
Daoistoq5Zg8Lv3

dude i have an idea for a new jujutsu fanfiction I hope you take this idea to write a fanfic the idea is basically a guy reincarnated into jjk into a swordsman family. a.k.a kurogane clan the template for MC is obviously ikki kurogane and innate technique of MC is swordsmanship i.e you can easily learn swordsmanship and see any flaws in swordsmanship and have intutiative feeling of sword play and lastly your body adapts to better unleash the potential of any swordsmanship you practice

10d
Daoistoq5Zg8
Daoistoq5Zg8Lv3

please comment further if you are interested

Daoistoq5Zg8:dude i have an idea for a new jujutsu fanfiction I hope you take this idea to write a fanfic the idea is basically a guy reincarnated into jjk into a swordsman family. a.k.a kurogane clan the template for MC is obviously ikki kurogane and innate technique of MC is swordsmanship i.e you can easily learn swordsmanship and see any flaws in swordsmanship and have intutiative feeling of sword play and lastly your body adapts to better unleash the potential of any swordsmanship you practice
10d
Other Reviews
M_Static
M_StaticLv4

monotone and boring narration. no storytelling.

6mth

ThePpp_Pppp
ThePpp_PpppAuthor

I can't believe I didn't get first review someone beat me to it…somehow.. Anyway this story does use Gemini ai thought unlike the last story this time it's mainly used to do descriptions I can't really do yet and the dialogues along with how they interact were written by me.

11mth
DaoistdEbak2
DaoistdEbak2Lv4

This is a good one among jjk's fanfic that i've seen tbh, but our guy really about to become a binding vow merchant😂😂

10mth
Victor_7740
Victor_7740Lv14

The ai is so heavy in this one B h. J

11mth
Clown_Of_God
Clown_Of_GodLv6

Writing Quality 5/5 Stability of Updates 5/5 Story Development 1/5 because I can't give 0(ZERO) marks Character Design 1/5 World Background 3/5 jujutsu world in the beginning but something original after. I wanted to say that initially, it was a jujutsu kaisen fanfic. Still, after the MC lost 2 out of 2 fights with Gojo Satoru the author lost the ties of the story and turned it into an original shounem fanfic with original characters that are not part of the original jujutsu kaisen manga/anime. He only left the use of cursed energy within this fanfic. If you want an OP MC with the skills, experience, and intelligence equal to Namikaze Minato along with Gojo Satoru then this fic is not for you and not for anyone who wants a jujutsu kaisen fic with an original MC.

5mth
ivar_001
ivar_001Lv2

I really liked the story, but we do have to be critical; I would say that there is a lot of dialogue but little action, I want to give my opinion if the author is willing, and I wish Kenjaku was more dangerous than Hera in the original, he was a waste of a villain and died in a very pathetic way, I also want to advise you that they add a new villain at Sukuna's level, I say this because Minato and Gojo would end Sukuna like taking candy from a child and it would be very boring; and that's all my opinion and my review, I really liked it, I expect great things from this story, thank you. ahh another thing, put another shinigami for the MC that is for battle or defense, I would like that a lot 🤧

5mth
Z_Ril
Z_RilLv14

Reveal spoiler

6mth
Ahmed_Ragab_1983
Ahmed_Ragab_1983Lv1

Its actually really good[img=nervous]...................................................................................................................

7mth
ZeroXHSR
ZeroXHSRLv10

I haven't read this yet, but I like the concept, so keep going guys....please don't go on hiatus , that's all, but because writing a review can't be less than 140 words, so I'll write anything

8mth
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