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Aady_Shrestha
Aady_ShresthaLv48mth
2024-03-13 20:45

The sheer amount of heresy in this is quite ridiculous. Changing the og shadow keeper custodian armor was dumb. The writing quality took a severe down turn after the first 5 chapters. It quickly devolved into a power fic incredibly quickly. Now I wouldn’t have a problem with that if wasn’t done so poorly. This is not to mention this custodian has no loyalty to the Emperor at all. Like if you wanted to do that just make the Mc a Primarch. As a Dc fic this is as generic as it gets. As a Warhammer fic it’s not just terrible it’s just vile heresy.

The Adeptus Custodes(DC)

A_Real_Werewolf234
4.6
60 Chs

Liked by 18 people

LIKE
Replies17
A_Real_Werewolf234
A_Real_Werewolf234Author

Why would he be loyal to the Emperor? He isn’t a true Custodes and being loyal to someone else is dumb.

8mth
15
Aady_Shrestha
Aady_ShresthaLv4

Your lack of loyalty is concerning. How about to your parents? Your spouse? Your child? Your benefactors? Loyalty is a foundation for any real love whether it be romantic or familial. Your character just seems to lack any loyalty. Do you?

A_Real_Werewolf234:Why would he be loyal to the Emperor? He isn’t a true Custodes and being loyal to someone else is dumb.
8mth
5
A_Real_Werewolf234
A_Real_Werewolf234Author

That is implied dude. I meant loyalty to someone else(Emperor) who does not exist in DC. There is no need to have loyalty to him. The rest are obvious.

Aady_Shrestha:Your lack of loyalty is concerning. How about to your parents? Your spouse? Your child? Your benefactors? Loyalty is a foundation for any real love whether it be romantic or familial. Your character just seems to lack any loyalty. Do you?
8mth
10
perser_112
perser_112Lv2

😂😂😂

A_Real_Werewolf234:That is implied dude. I meant loyalty to someone else(Emperor) who does not exist in DC. There is no need to have loyalty to him. The rest are obvious.
8mth
12
PsyLoRD
PsyLoRDLv5

I feel this review has the shadow of Tzeentch, he is trying to use mind games to turn us against each other...

8mth
8
Aady_Shrestha
Aady_ShresthaLv4

Not as far as I’m aware but honestly who knows, this could be a part of his 30 step plan that leads to the birth of the Dark king. Or take it at face value and see an honest review.

PsyLoRD:I feel this review has the shadow of Tzeentch, he is trying to use mind games to turn us against each other...
8mth
2
Len_Stoff
Len_StoffLv1

Custodes are created to be loyal exclusively to the Emperor, the Emperor himself can see the future and will not take a traitor, Custodes cannot betray him because they are created that way on purpose

A_Real_Werewolf234:That is implied dude. I meant loyalty to someone else(Emperor) who does not exist in DC. There is no need to have loyalty to him. The rest are obvious.
7mth
2
A_Real_Werewolf234
A_Real_Werewolf234Author

He literaly asked the goddess to remove that aspect.

Len_Stoff:Custodes are created to be loyal exclusively to the Emperor, the Emperor himself can see the future and will not take a traitor, Custodes cannot betray him because they are created that way on purpose
7mth
1
Len_Stoff
Len_StoffLv1

All space marine в warhammer 40,000 The eunuchs, especially custodes big e, didn't want them to be able to reproduce

A_Real_Werewolf234:He literaly asked the goddess to remove that aspect.
7mth
1
A_Real_Werewolf234
A_Real_Werewolf234Author

That is the thing, Space Marines don’t have their junks removed. A inquisitor saw a Grey Knight in the Shower and he was intact

Len_Stoff: All space marine в warhammer 40,000 The eunuchs, especially custodes big e, didn't want them to be able to reproduce
7mth
1
Sky_Demon_Order
Sky_Demon_OrderLv14

haha soldiers and citizicienf of countries would laugh at you you country less bumpkin

A_Real_Werewolf234:Why would he be loyal to the Emperor? He isn’t a true Custodes and being loyal to someone else is dumb.
6mth
A_Real_Werewolf234
A_Real_Werewolf234Author

I love my country the United States, I am loyal to my family, my friends. When I made this statement, I was saying ‘why would he be loyal to someone else’ As in, someone who is not in the reality he is in, The Emperor. He even asked to remove ingrained loyalty to The Emperor.

Sky_Demon_Order:haha soldiers and citizicienf of countries would laugh at you you country less bumpkin
6mth
3
Cultivator_Asura
Cultivator_AsuraLv1

Bro, there's no point trying to argue with these guys, they don't care about the reason, for them everything should be as it is in the original Warhammer work, they have no sense of creativity and don't even understand that this is a fanfic, and that you decide how she continues, this becomes clear when they make arguments like: "if he doesn't have loyalty to the Emperor, he and you have no loyalty to anything, etc. etc. etc." lol, the Emperor doesn't even exist in DC, and who with a conscience would want to be someone else's slave? hahaha

A_Real_Werewolf234:I love my country the United States, I am loyal to my family, my friends. When I made this statement, I was saying ‘why would he be loyal to someone else’ As in, someone who is not in the reality he is in, The Emperor. He even asked to remove ingrained loyalty to The Emperor.
6mth
5
A_Real_Werewolf234
A_Real_Werewolf234Author

Very true, I just dislike how they instantly go ‘this sucks, if he doesn’t have loyalty to the Emperor he is a fake’ Blah, blah, blah

Cultivator_Asura:Bro, there's no point trying to argue with these guys, they don't care about the reason, for them everything should be as it is in the original Warhammer work, they have no sense of creativity and don't even understand that this is a fanfic, and that you decide how she continues, this becomes clear when they make arguments like: "if he doesn't have loyalty to the Emperor, he and you have no loyalty to anything, etc. etc. etc." lol, the Emperor doesn't even exist in DC, and who with a conscience would want to be someone else's slave? hahaha
6mth
4
Sky_Demon_Order
Sky_Demon_OrderLv14

point taken

A_Real_Werewolf234:I love my country the United States, I am loyal to my family, my friends. When I made this statement, I was saying ‘why would he be loyal to someone else’ As in, someone who is not in the reality he is in, The Emperor. He even asked to remove ingrained loyalty to The Emperor.
5mth
1
Aady_Shrestha
Aady_ShresthaLv4

This is late but I’ll explain the main grips with 40k fans on these type of fanfics. If the Mc isn’t Loyal to the Emperor then why be a Custodes? They are paragons of loyalty literally built to be unable to deny the Emperor. Keeping him loyal isn’t putting a cap on creativity it’s rather creating the chance for a much interesting setting. However removing a Custodes loyalty to the Emperor is removing what makes them a Custodes. It’s plain lazy writing and makes the character and story more shallow. At that point it would be better if the Mc was just a space marine or a primarch.

Cultivator_Asura:Bro, there's no point trying to argue with these guys, they don't care about the reason, for them everything should be as it is in the original Warhammer work, they have no sense of creativity and don't even understand that this is a fanfic, and that you decide how she continues, this becomes clear when they make arguments like: "if he doesn't have loyalty to the Emperor, he and you have no loyalty to anything, etc. etc. etc." lol, the Emperor doesn't even exist in DC, and who with a conscience would want to be someone else's slave? hahaha
1mth
Cultivator_Asura
Cultivator_AsuraLv1

The abilities of the race, along with the potential that comes with the Emperor's blood.

Aady_Shrestha:This is late but I’ll explain the main grips with 40k fans on these type of fanfics. If the Mc isn’t Loyal to the Emperor then why be a Custodes? They are paragons of loyalty literally built to be unable to deny the Emperor. Keeping him loyal isn’t putting a cap on creativity it’s rather creating the chance for a much interesting setting. However removing a Custodes loyalty to the Emperor is removing what makes them a Custodes. It’s plain lazy writing and makes the character and story more shallow. At that point it would be better if the Mc was just a space marine or a primarch.
1mth
Other Reviews
The_man_The_myth
The_man_The_mythLv4

What is your Duty? To serve Emperor's Will. What is Emperor's Will? That we fight and die. What is Death? It is our duty. What is your Duty?

8mth

Project_Traveler
Project_TravelerLv14

For the Emperor .,........,.........,.....

8mth
A_Real_Werewolf234
A_Real_Werewolf234Author

Warhammer inspired fanfics are so rare so here is my take. The Boosted Gear and Divine Dividing are so OP that they will serve a Demigod Custodes in DC. This will be fun.

8mth
Mysteries_
Mysteries_Lv11

The protagonist is the worst kind of failure, the one who thinks he's superior to 80% of people just because he read "the art of war" and goes to the gym lol

8mth
craze_8093
craze_8093Lv15

burn the heretic, the alien, and the mutant. FOR THE EMPEROR!! May power stones flow for this is one of the emerors finest

8mth
MEX_LEX
MEX_LEXLv2

Good writing and a good plot, but just like many authors out there, this one also decided to write multiple books at the same time, as a result, irregular updates, and bro got a big attitude problem. Just wrote a simple comment about how I hate authors who just outright abandon their books, and man, did I hurt his ego. Anyway, I'm pretty sure this review is also going to be deleted just like all those negative reviews this guy deleted. Oh, well, time to find a new one.

6mth
firat_Vural
firat_VuralLv13

It was going good but then the batman slender came out of nowhere and i just can’t stand it when fics do that

7mth
Vastoking
VastokingLv5

SO Iv'e read 3 chapters and YEP, IM TOTALLY GONNA LOVE THIS.

8mth
Zaelum
ZaelumLv5

Nice!, I'll read it will listening to Coleus Sanctus! [img=recommend] [img=recommend] [img=recommend] [img=recommend] [img=recommend] [img=recommend]

8mth
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