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RedPandaK
RedPandaKLv135mth
2024-06-24 08:35

Tried to give this a chance, however I feel like this story has too much inspiration from Shadow Slave. This doesn’t even feel as if it has its own identity. The MC is my biggest gripe, he is a transmigrator and engineer yet I feel as if a teenager would have better decision making for development and strategy. The MC isn’t fully utilizing his OP ability and states that it is his strategy?? I started to give up on the story when in the mountain cave he didn’t even think to use his clone to level up his talent by sending it down the mountain to fight easy monsters when he was less than 30 talents away from evolving. The timing was also strange considering the MC ‘lost’ himself in war and was fighting constant battles for an undisclosed amount of time. Yet he didn’t level up and only managed to increase his talents by 900?? Even if he only led 20 campaigns after Night Terror, he couldn’t kill more than 45 monsters per war campaign? As a general? Describing his fights as if he was going through them like a hot knife through butter. It just doesn’t make sense. Not only that but his start was also rushed and not fleshed out. He was fully conscious as an infant and did not even consider trying to build himself in any expertise or skill to give himself an edge? Standing behind your dad and being a good analyzer is the absolute freaking bare minimum, bro did not develop his body at all, he did not learn how to wield a weapon because daddy forbade it?? Nah. I love the concept but I feel it’s missing a lot of common sense logic which would make the story a better read. The descriptive words were good too, I think that was very well thought of. Keep writing and improving because you will become a better author.

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RighteousFilth
RighteousFilthAuthor

Thank you very much for the review, I will take note of the things that you have said, I'm still a novice author, not that I'm trying to use that as an excuse for my mistakes but I'm saying those mistakes I made because I was still novice and did not give things a thorough thought, wish I could really change some things but I admit that will change the flow of my story and create a lot of inconsistency with the recent chapters, also its a lot of work. So, the list I can provide is a reasonable explanation for the things that are happening, which I will do when MC leaves the continent of Stelier

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