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Jimmy_Kibble
Jimmy_KibbleLv151yr
2024-01-30 04:06

An amazing story 30 chapters in can wait for more

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Other Reviews
DarkFight3r
DarkFight3rLv3
Horizon
HorizonLv13

Read up to ch 78 and this will be a blunt review. This story is obviously inspired by the “Scholar’s Advanced Technological System.” However the difference in quality and understanding of why that story succeeds is not the same. A major issue in this tech type stories is that the author can easily be bogged down writing jargon or a lot of inessential details that do not move the story forward and just make you scroll through the chapter because as a reader you know it’s not important. This is a failure in any book in my opinion. Readers should not feel that they are reading filler and that their time is wasted reading. However, I felt that way so many times reading this story. There were chapters where more than half of it was wasted on a list of inconsequential information that would not even matter one chapter over. The reason SATS succeeded is because the author understood how to temper the info dumps, in that story they are reserved only for techno jargon where there is some competition or tension in the story, making you be invested in the jargon, even if all of it did not make sense to a normal person. Here is just wasted on the specs of a truck, properties, or employee listings. Now onto the story aspects. The system and its inception is super cookie cutter, some generic Goddess™️ finds pity on this generic dude is “struggling oh so much” with the most generic issues. Honestly, the background of the main character would not be that important if it wasn’t so bland. Now the story progress is suffering from the same issue of the info dumps, bogged down by inconsequential content. Oh he has to file for business permits, oh he has to spend four chapters buying a truck to stroke his bruised ego because some guy looked at him funny, oh he has to spend multiple chapters getting a drivers license. It’s all just so banal and honestly not interesting to read. Which is the worst thing a book can do, bore you. Which is funny considering the most interesting part of this novel are the two female side characters who are investors in his business. They are interesting. I feel like the story would be so much better if a lot of the “filler” is cut down and the author focuses on moving the story forward instead of meandering on the most mundane aspects of the story.

huH2
huH2Lv4
Yuwii
YuwiiLv12
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