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DaoistOfeOTA
DaoistOfeOTALv46mth
2024-05-02 11:07

So idk if this will be coherent enough but I’ll give it a shot, this story is pretty great my only problem with it is the fact author is just new and figuring out what works for example the mc only uses his weapon when he isn’t killing someone and his hands when he is killing them (mostly) and for as “strong” as the mc is it seems like he gets nerfed or everyone else gets boosted to a crazy degree and how the mc is making rookie mistakes over and over even tho he grew up in war so should know what to do (don’t wanna spoil so I’ll be vague) and some parts are definitely forced but still come off as really well written and how author has mc constantly suffer like he a secret maso or something overrall id say author just has to practice a bit more and find a good medium to find between scenes or change tags if your wondering to read this I’d say check it out cause it def is better than most fics on here (warning tho mc is a mute but learns sign language at the middle of arc 1)

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greenbaypitbull
greenbaypitbullAuthor

thank you for the review! I really appreciate your constructive criticisms. I think that your point of MC being experienced in war and making "rookie" mistakes hits the nail on the head. it's something that I definitely could work on. in one of the most recent chapters, I ran into that exact problem, where in all reality, MC wouldn't have made the decision that he did. I've definitely been trying to reflect on that and be better going forward. Again, thank you so much for the review!

DaoistOfeOTA
DaoistOfeOTALv4

No problem man I see you putting in effort replying to everyone questions and making changes when stuff doesn’t work can’t wait till some more chapters come out

greenbaypitbull:thank you for the review! I really appreciate your constructive criticisms. I think that your point of MC being experienced in war and making "rookie" mistakes hits the nail on the head. it's something that I definitely could work on. in one of the most recent chapters, I ran into that exact problem, where in all reality, MC wouldn't have made the decision that he did. I've definitely been trying to reflect on that and be better going forward. Again, thank you so much for the review!
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greenbaypitbull
greenbaypitbullAuthor

hello everyone! it's been a blast writing this novel, and I'm so thankful to everyone who reads it! a couple of things before you get into it.I am a brand new author who has never written anything, so please be patient with me! Another really big thing is that some aspects of my story differ from cannon. an example of this is that the knight's of the round table are weaker in the first part of the story (meaning the prologue set in ancient Britain.) so please don't be shocked if the characters seem weaker then they should be.the reason for this, is I didn't fully understand just how strong they were in life while I was writing it, so by the time I learned about it, I was already well into the story! another aspect of cannon that I've changed is that I'm combining most of the timelines into one. meaning that MC (Who is a Heroic Spirit) will participate in many of the Holy Grail Wars. (Ubw, Apocrypha, Grand Order, ect, ect) The third aspect I've changed is that I've made Alaya a little more "powerful" than her cannon counterpart. I understand that this might upset some readers, but I promise that it has a purpose. there are other things as well, but I hope that you give this novel a chance! I try and answer all the questions I can, so please feel free to ask questions or voice your concerns in the comments. I will try my best to answer them!again, I hope you give this novel a chance, but please remember that this book might not be for everyone, and that ok!I appreciate each and every single one of you!

cr90_captain
cr90_captainLv1
FransizSef
FransizSefLv4
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