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KulkuljatorLv11yr
2023-08-02 16:06

Quite an interesting read, I really like how the story is styled like a diary. The first 2 chapters were indeed written worse than the rest of the story, like the author themselves stated at the beginning. I think it would not hurt to make some improvements there. I also noticed in the first chapter, a switch from 3rd to 1st person perspective, which was a bit strange. But what I really like is the feeling of loneliness while the MC was at the hospital, as well as the appearance of magic in the story.

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ZetronysAuthor

Thanks for the feedback, I'm finishing the first arc, then I'll be back to redo the first chapters

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