webnovel
IvanelaSalove
IvanelaSaloveLv111yr
2023-07-10 15:57

I always read the synopsis before reading the novel itself and I was captivated by it. I got excited when the synopsis was in first pov because in my novel, I'm also using first pov which I rarely read in other novels, but I was confused when I read the first chapter because it was in third pov. Aside from that, the scenes were described too much that it made me feel unmotivated to read further. There are too much flowery words, and since English isn't my first language, it was hard for me to keep up with the words used in the novel. I'm really interested about the plot because I want to know how the author proceeds with the medicine of regret. Overall, this novel has potential, but it needs improvement in certain aspects.

Liked it!

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!

Other Reviews
Entrail_JI
Entrail_JILv15

Writing Quality - 2 stars. There's so much to improve here. Firstly, there are a couple of typos such as 'cloths' which I presume should be 'clothes' in the first chapter. Another one was 'figured' which should be 'figure'. There are several others in the novel. I suggest using Grammarly to fix these typos. It's an incredibly helpful tool that will bring the quality up by a notch. There's also several awkward sentences that make it hard to read. [Large rock that had protruded out of the swamp...] [More idea as to where she could be, and where she should head then just a moment ago.] This sentence is really hard to understand. Also, it should be than instead of then. [Once again, Grammarly can fix this for you.] Stability of updates - 5 stars. Only been three days since the novel has been uploaded and so far, i have seen that there's two updates a day. So I can only give 5 stars. Story Development - 3 stars. The first chapter was Ava in the forest trying to look for the Witch. The second chapter was Ava with the witch. The third chapter was about her seeing a glimpse of her past. To be honest, all of this could've been condensed into one or two chapters. A lot of the scenes and words can be cut. Character Design - 3 Stars I stopped at chapter 3, but at that chapter Ava's character was starting to unravel so I can't give it any lower than three and in fact it probably isn't fair for me to only give it a three. World Background - 4 stars Yeah, pretty good. Actually the most promising part of the novel. Overall rating 3.4 The story so far isn't bad. However, the grammar and spelling need a lot of improvement. As I've suggested, download Grammarly to mitigate a couple of the pointed-out problems. Furthermore, if you think a sentence is awkward, there's no tool better than ChatGTP to help you in that regard. We have AIs. Use them to your advantage. If you think something doesn't sound right, ask it for suggestions.

Related Stories

Abyssal Awakening

Having spent her childhood confined in chains, Alice was a child who knew neither love nor joy. Scorned by her family while being tortured in the name of the greater good for years, she grew numb to all feeling and thought. That is, until one day, a man in black offered her a chance to escape. There were once rumours widespread of an endless hell, a land of glorious death and dreadful opportunity. Fools went in search of it, and the clever never ventured into it. Only when its baleful mysteries spilled unto the earth did all hear its name — the Abyss. A single drop of its blood could give someone the power to control shadows, move faster than sound, or strength greater than the strongest man. Yet, it all came at a cost; the blood would always make sure those who consumed it became part of the Abyss, with one exception — Alice. Cast away by her own blood, it was her destiny to rot in a gilded cage. But, that fateful day changed everything. Gifted a second chance at life, a chance to turn her life around and claim vengeance against her family, a chance to dive deep into the Abyss and gain the power to govern her own fate, Alice took his hand, unaware of the destiny unfolding before her. Discord: https://discord.gg/vrdTSkj8Va Author Notes: This is my third book, going to take what I learned from before to improve. This book will be focusing on plot, action, depths of character bonds and overall a darker tone/take on this cruel fantasy world I've cooked up for this book! If you give this book a try, I hope you enjoy! A very different experience and tone to Nanomancer Reborn.

Reili · Fantasy
4.7
664 Chs

Tangled in Moonlight: Unshifted

Being the pack defect is bad enough. Getting REJECTED? By your own fated mate? Yeah. THAT is a whole new level of low. Ava Grey is the pack defect, a wolfless shifter. She struggles through life with the vague dream of freedom. Her opportunity comes when she's suddenly informed that she will be attending the Lunar Gala, an annual ball for young adult shifters to find their fated mates. And she finds him. He's beautiful and intense, and his kisses send desire through her veins like a drug. Until he REJECTS her. Ava isn't about to go back to her dreary life. She escapes and forges a new identity far from her pack, and far from her alpha mate. She makes new friends and is even forcefully adopted by a hilarious husky. But just as she settles in and finds happiness, strange things begin to happen... Her husky has been holding secrets. She's hearing whispers that shifter packs all over are looking for her. And she can smell a familiar scent in her apartment, which makes no sense at all... because the man it belongs to rejected her. FEBRUARY 2024 UPDATE: Updates scheduled for 5-7 days a week as I continue recovering and working on my new WSA entry. Thank you for your patience as we move into book 7! --------- This is a wolf shifter romance with multiple triggers that like to waltz hand in hand with all the dark themes through a meadow of dead flowers. In this book you will find the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Laugh, cry, rage; you can do them all as you follow Ava in the rather perilous journey of being a wolf shifter in this generation of werewolf romance. There are R18 scenes sprinkled throughout this book like candy popping out of a pinata. Please read responsibly. ------- AUTHOR DISCORD: https://discord.com/invite/ApNZDux8kj

Lenaleia · Fantasy
4.6
451 Chs

Abyssal Chronicles

In the northern part of the world, a long-standing battle between various races and the demon race has finally reached its end. The Demon Lord, a figure with black hair, red eyes, rules from her obsidian palace, having repeatedly defeated the Goddess, the strongest being in the world. However, she refrains from killing her, knowing she will only be reborn to lead another attack. As the goddess kneels before her, badly injured and helpless, the sounds of explosions echo outside, signaling the imminent victory of the alliance. Despite her immense power, the demon lord acknowledges the demon's overall weakness compared to humans and the Alliance. The development of fighting energy and mana has allowed ordinary humans to fight demons, leading to the demon army's defeat. Aware of the Alliance's intent to enslave the abyssal demon, the Demon Lord decides to cast a forbidden spell that will cost her life. As the Alliance forces storm the palace, they hesitate upon sensing the spell's energy. The Demon Lord vows to resist and be reborn to save her people. Meanwhile, the goddess reflects on the demon lord's past treatment of her and acknowledges her respect and dedication to her people. As the demon lord prepares to cast the spell, the goddess asks if she can abandon her plan and live freely. However, demon lords are duty-bound to restore the demon race's glory and protect her people. Understanding the demon lord's resolve, the goddess readies her sword, intending to clash with the demo lord's forbidden spell. The resulting explosion creates a mushroom cloud, marking the end of the conflict and the start of a new era. The Demon Lord and the Goddess become historical figures, their stories occasionally told.

Hail_The_loli · Fantasy
4.7
1089 Chs

Garden Of Poison

[Volume 1: Dante Blackthorn] When Anastasia and her sister Marianne are captured and shipped across the seas by pirates, they become commodities to be sold in a distant land. Marianne is taken as a courtesan, while Anastasia barely escapes a terrible fate by pretending to be mute. She is forced into the lowest ring of servants at the royal palace, where she endures a life of servitude and creates beautiful artwork to mask her pain. Despite years passing, Anastasia has never forgotten her sister's promise to return to their family together. However, with her movement restricted and the guards vigilant, escape seems impossible. When Anastasia comes into contact with the Forsaken Prince, her life spirals out of control and she triggers a Crux of incredible proportions. Now battling her own inner demons while navigating the treacherous politics of the royal court, Anastasia must confront the truth about her sister's fate and make a choice that could alter the course of an entire kingdom. [Volume 2: Emily Blackthorn] Princess Emily's life takes a turbulent turn when she is rejected, leaving her heartbroken and her soul at the brink of corruption. In a desperate bid to save herself, she journeys to the West. Enter the Storm Prince, a charismatic archdemon with striking blue eyes, with a saint-like smile. Emily had hoped she'd seen the last of him, but fate has other plans. As if her soul dying isn’t enough, someone wants to steal it! Caught between the suitors and the haunting nightmares that have plagued her since childhood, Emily begins to see Raylen in a new light. The blue-eyed demon may not be the monster she once thought.

ash_knight17 · Fantasy
4.9
286 Chs

Chosen by Fate, Rejected by the Alpha

Eighteen-year-old Trinity is unlike any other werewolf in her pack. For one, there were unusual circumstances surrounding her birth, for another, she is the only pack member to never shift into a wolf form. So now she doesn't quite belong anywhere. Not quite human and not quite wolf. She thought she would be able to live her life how she wanted when she had turned eighteen. Go to college, make some friends, have some fun. But what is she to do when the dangerously sexy Alpha literally falls right into her lap? "I am not human, and I am not a wolf. I don't belong anywhere..." "...we both know that no one is going to mate with me, and even if they did, they would just reject me anyway." What is the sexy, brooding Alpha going to do? The elders are making him hold these ridiculous parties to search for a mate. He doesn't want a mate, but he knows he needs a mate to finish the Alpha Circle. Without a mate, a Luna for the pack, his people would suffer. And what is he going to do when he stumbles across the girl that fate has chosen for him and he finds out she has no wolf? "This cannot be!" I roared. "There is no way that I can mate with a girl that does not even have a wolf. She will be too weak. She will be inferior. She will not be strong enough to be a Luna." "I simply could not accept her as my mate. Not fully. It wasn't safe for her. She would get herself killed. And she would bring my pack down with her." When these two meet, sparks will surely fly. But will it be from passion, or their constant fighting? Neither of them wanted a mate. Neither of them wants the mate that fate chose for them. And neither of them can make that mate bond go away. What are they going to do now that they're literally stuck with each other? ***Rating Warning*** Adult Language Violence Strong Sexual Content THIS BOOK IS UNDERDER AN EXCLUSIVE CONTRACT AND IT IS NOT TO BE POSTED OR PUBLISHED ANYWHERE ELSE. Follow me to find my other books or ask me question, thanks for reading!!! FOLLOW ME AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK https://discord.gg/8wrYgHqemB https://twitter.com/DCinMI https://www.facebook.com/deni.chance.71 https://www.instagram.com/dcinmi87/ ***COVER ART IS THE SOLE PROPERTY OF THE AUTHOR AND WAS ILLUSTRATED BY VICTORIA DAYEN OF MSPUGLUVER'S ART***

Deni_Chance · Fantasy
4.8
1197 Chs