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Chaos_Prime
Chaos_PrimeLv151yr
2023-07-10 00:52

The synopsis is confusing. It promises first POV but we only see third POV. I dub this novel as very confusing. Too many spelling mistakes and most things are confusing. For example: (Regardless, this ”figured” moved forward…) Or: (hight not much higher than her own…) I keep getting lost and rereading to try and find where I am. Ava does not have a bright mind is what I can say if I want to be family friendly. The narrator sounds like someone with a mental illness and keeps adding to the confusion. The only thing one can say is good here is the world building. It looks and reads good. Sadly, it alone cannot salvage this mess of confusion. I may be called Chaos, but even I get confused.

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Entrail_JI
Entrail_JILv15

Writing Quality - 2 stars. There's so much to improve here. Firstly, there are a couple of typos such as 'cloths' which I presume should be 'clothes' in the first chapter. Another one was 'figured' which should be 'figure'. There are several others in the novel. I suggest using Grammarly to fix these typos. It's an incredibly helpful tool that will bring the quality up by a notch. There's also several awkward sentences that make it hard to read. [Large rock that had protruded out of the swamp...] [More idea as to where she could be, and where she should head then just a moment ago.] This sentence is really hard to understand. Also, it should be than instead of then. [Once again, Grammarly can fix this for you.] Stability of updates - 5 stars. Only been three days since the novel has been uploaded and so far, i have seen that there's two updates a day. So I can only give 5 stars. Story Development - 3 stars. The first chapter was Ava in the forest trying to look for the Witch. The second chapter was Ava with the witch. The third chapter was about her seeing a glimpse of her past. To be honest, all of this could've been condensed into one or two chapters. A lot of the scenes and words can be cut. Character Design - 3 Stars I stopped at chapter 3, but at that chapter Ava's character was starting to unravel so I can't give it any lower than three and in fact it probably isn't fair for me to only give it a three. World Background - 4 stars Yeah, pretty good. Actually the most promising part of the novel. Overall rating 3.4 The story so far isn't bad. However, the grammar and spelling need a lot of improvement. As I've suggested, download Grammarly to mitigate a couple of the pointed-out problems. Furthermore, if you think a sentence is awkward, there's no tool better than ChatGTP to help you in that regard. We have AIs. Use them to your advantage. If you think something doesn't sound right, ask it for suggestions.

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