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Treein
TreeinLv121yr
2023-07-09 15:45

Love the book so much so far. It was very well orgnized. I've also read the other book of Pen and it was a very interesting one. Anyone who read this book should read that one too! You keep going Pen!!

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Other Reviews
Entrail_JI
Entrail_JILv15

Writing Quality - 2 stars. There's so much to improve here. Firstly, there are a couple of typos such as 'cloths' which I presume should be 'clothes' in the first chapter. Another one was 'figured' which should be 'figure'. There are several others in the novel. I suggest using Grammarly to fix these typos. It's an incredibly helpful tool that will bring the quality up by a notch. There's also several awkward sentences that make it hard to read. [Large rock that had protruded out of the swamp...] [More idea as to where she could be, and where she should head then just a moment ago.] This sentence is really hard to understand. Also, it should be than instead of then. [Once again, Grammarly can fix this for you.] Stability of updates - 5 stars. Only been three days since the novel has been uploaded and so far, i have seen that there's two updates a day. So I can only give 5 stars. Story Development - 3 stars. The first chapter was Ava in the forest trying to look for the Witch. The second chapter was Ava with the witch. The third chapter was about her seeing a glimpse of her past. To be honest, all of this could've been condensed into one or two chapters. A lot of the scenes and words can be cut. Character Design - 3 Stars I stopped at chapter 3, but at that chapter Ava's character was starting to unravel so I can't give it any lower than three and in fact it probably isn't fair for me to only give it a three. World Background - 4 stars Yeah, pretty good. Actually the most promising part of the novel. Overall rating 3.4 The story so far isn't bad. However, the grammar and spelling need a lot of improvement. As I've suggested, download Grammarly to mitigate a couple of the pointed-out problems. Furthermore, if you think a sentence is awkward, there's no tool better than ChatGTP to help you in that regard. We have AIs. Use them to your advantage. If you think something doesn't sound right, ask it for suggestions.

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[Main Plot Completed] A love doomed from the start, a lost cause, a losing battle—and yet, neither hearts are willing to let go until the very end. ----- Arlan Cromwell, the epitome of the perfect Crown Prince. All he wants is to live a normal life of a human but the life of a dragon is anything but normal. He has but one goal—to find his runaway betrothed and behead her. What happens when he discovers that the woman who has snagged his heart is the one he vowed to kill? Oriana, a Black Witch, disguising herself as a man, has spent her entire life on the run without knowing what she is running away from. When the mysteries of her past slowly catch up to her, she has no one to turn to…except Arlan. But when she learns that the man she has given her heart to is the same man who wants to kill her, how can she accept the cruel card life dealt her? Two people with secrets to keep, identities to hide, and answers to find. When the certain darkness threatens to take Oriana away, will the Dragon be able to protect his mate? ----- Excerpt- “If I knew you were my betrothed, I would have killed you the very first moment we met." Arlan's gaze darkened with hatred. “If I knew I was betrothed to you, I would have killed myself before you even killed me!” Oriana mirrored the same emotions as him. He pulled out a dagger and offered it to her. “It’s not too late. Just slit your throat with this and you'll bleed out painlessly.” She accepted the knife, her fingers clutching its handle tightly. The next moment, he was pressed against the wall and the knife was on the right side of his neck. “How about I try it on you first, my betrothed?” “Feel free to try. But when you fail, this knife will first taste your grandpa's blood, then yours.” Anger rose in her eyes, and the next moment, blood was flowing through the right side of his neck. She cut deep enough to severe an important blood vessel. “You should not have challenged me,” she sneered and stepped back, waiting for him to collapse. He simply smirked and brushed his finger along the deep wound on his neck. “Seems like you failed.” She watched the wound on his neck heal on its own and felt shocked to her bones. “You.. what are you?” “Guess?” ----- Instagram- mynovel.20 Facebook- Author mynoveltwenty

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