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Yirikalische
YirikalischeLv1311mth
2024-05-01 02:51

You are making story way worse by trying so hard. There is a good reason for so many similar novels to exist, because it works! Your starting template is similar to 'global lord' types, yet instead of following the fast paced formula, you write an extremely slow paced progression, which doesn't fit this sub-genre at all. Literally whenever ANYTHING happens, MC starts thinking about it for ungodly amount og paragraphs. Then he says something like "wait this is not important now", which I 100% agree, it is indeed not important in the slightest. And more importantly , MC feels WAY too clueless for someone who literally studied this world, this is not a transmigration novel. He even had high grades, how is he so flustered? In such an education system, he should already be completely familiar with everything and should be mentally prepared. I can tell that author is trying to make MC weak-willed so that he can change it afterwards and call it character progression, but it just doesn't work. The idea is cool, if you simply delete half of the text, or perhaps even a bit more than half, this could be a good novel.

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Nehode
NehodeLv2

I don't care about Michael Fang ir his territory. The author didn't manage to make me care about the MC. The story was enjoyable for a while even if it wasn't the greatest but at some point I realized I never was invested in the characters and so I stopped reading after 300 chapters.The author never gives information until it's too late. It's like he didn't have an idea in mind but kept writing and when he made a decision he gave us the information out of the blue.One example is the MC's family. His parents disappeared and we don't know why but we learn hundreds of chapters later the MC knew all along why. It was just never shared with the reader and we thought there was some mystery but no.Another one is the way the author nerfs MC to make him struggle. It was never explained why he was slow in cultivation until the author gave us the information. Information which is widely known and his teachers could have told him but same thing, the information was shared when the author thought about it, it wasn't something secret or anything so why the wait?I feel like the author isn't sure of hiw his story will unfold so he describes nothing.MC made plans with people and he has insightful ideas. We don't know the plan and what MC's ideas are.His territory gets bigger and better but no details about his territory. We don't know how his people live, what's around it and who manage it when MC is away. It should be the maid but she is also busy with fighting monsters. 20000 people in his territory, he is away often and apparently there is no governing body.Too many things are so vague, secondary characters aren't developed and like always, MC has a very short time to save the day. I will remove the novel from my library.

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