Ignore the cool cover, the first 17 chapters are largely babyfic, then toddler fic once the exceedingly long prologue is over. Its well enough written, the paragraphs could be smaller to be more phone friendly, but it's honestly the long childhood that doesn't work for me. It feels like the story is stuck in mud with how slowly it progresses.
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Thanks for the review, you are not the first person to point out the slow burn of the story. I planned to write a slower story because I find the build up to be better and it helps with fleshing out the story and character over all. I have written over 30 chapters and the MC is currently 3 years old... So ya, it's going to be a slowish story over all.
I really recommend adding some timeskips in man, the story is really good but I’m losing interest in it seeing how many chapters it’s been and how young he is. Slow burn is good, but slowburn like this is just unsatisfying
Sorry, I have a lot of foundation to build and this is the only way to do it. I will be time skipping a bit more, but I think the main thing people want is action... So I will have to add some more of it soon.
Honestly ya, the last bunch of chapters has been much better, now that he’s actually getting things done. Gonna have to do some skips eventually though or else we’re never gonna make it to canon before he rules the world
LOL, I have so many notes on what needs to happen before cannon. He won't rule the world but the ground work will be there.
Thanks for saving my time, slowburn is ok maybe good but if the story is already 30 chapters in and the mc is not even 5 years old then that just too much, why even bother putting an adult character on the cover when the mc is even a teen? lol
Yeah sorry too much, come here cuz cool pic and curious but seeing that you require more than 30 chapter to make foundation, I think it too slow for me. What foundation he need to make pre 5 years old?
You only like 1-2 chapters to make a foundation, and even then, 2 chapters are a lot. By the time it's chapter 30, the first training arc of an MC should be over and are having conflict with another character(s).
That's the nice thing about writing a story yourself, you can write it however you like.
Yet, look at what happened to the story. There should be a balance in some type of way in a story to not make it too fast or slow. Anyway, this doesn't even matter because what's done is done. I just hope you better next time.
Honestly it’s your story you can do what you want with it. I do like how it’s well written and you do get what you want across but I would agree that you might be focusing to much into his child years. I agree you may have to need setup and I was with it. But I feel after geting there base and there lastest people you could go with a time skip to get the actual story off the ground. Lastly it feels like we’re on a plane and we’ve been on the runway accelerating all this time without taking off lol. If you need to explain some things later you could always use flashbacks.
Ah that's kind of disappointing. A certain pokemon fanfic ruined slow burn fanfics for me. over 500 chapters and the MC still hasn't started his journey. very disappointing
I respect that like I said I do enjoy what’s written I just forget in the middle sometimes that he’s still 3 lol
Thats true. I dont even publish anything I write thanks to perfectionism, so honestly major kudos for being able to post anything in the first place. I usually have like 3-4 times worth the content in back story figured out for pretty much every detail, but because my mind is exponentionally getting further ahead from where I am with writing it all, I lose interest too fast getting me mired down around the 50k - 100k word mark as by then my mind has already moved on to the next story. so again major kudos for being able to be this meticulous about litterally writing the characters whole life story. Its not for me, but I do respect dedication to ones work where I see it, and dedication you have in spades.
thank you. I hate those
thanks for the warning. Slow burn is ok, 30 chapters before teen years, that's no longer slow burn, that's burning down a forest one match at a time
dont worry author there are alot of people including me who appreciate those who bother making a strong foundation, even if it is abit to slow thats just part of the story and without those parts the future chapters wouldnt be as good as they are now, i really like your work and dedication to make that many chapters just for the MC's beginning, anyways although i would have prefered it to be only about 20 chapters long atmost but since this fanfic is really good i really have nothing to complain about here oh and uhh keep up the good work. over-all the fanfic is great and i really appreciate the foundational work for his beginning
Never spoken truer words my dawg
is there romance
For the MC? No, not really.
