This fic is boring, almost a chore to read because.1) There is too much over explanation, like seriously, there are 4 to 6 paragraphs over explaining everything in every chapter.2) The chapters are too short, and 90 percent of the chapters are just filled with those over explanation of what the mc is thinking, doing, surroundings, useless information, etc...3) I have read all the chapters as of now, from chapters 1 to 21. and all that could have been done in literally 5 or 6 chapters if being generous.there are more things to say here, but these are the main problems that need to be fixed first, that's all.
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I probably should have said it somewhere, but this will be a very slow story since that is more like what I personally enjoy. As for the over explanation you mentioned, I do that because I'd like for the characters to see more realistic. I do tend to go on tangents though.
if you want to do more of a slow story style, I suggest you do it the slice of life style because those over explanation are a chore to read, but the slice of life style will suit this more since you want this to be a slow story. and yes, please do work on those tangents it will be greatly appreciated, and I will look forward to the improvements.
TrapLover:I probably should have said it somewhere, but this will be a very slow story since that is more like what I personally enjoy. As for the over explanation you mentioned, I do that because I'd like for the characters to see more realistic. I do tend to go on tangents though.
Honestly, I don't see this story being 'good' until we're much higher in the chapter count because of all the tangents. But to a certain extent that's on purpose. Most of the things I've had tangents about are either hints toward future things or explaining background information that will help make my novel seem more 'realistic'.
sage5156:if you want to do more of a slow story style, I suggest you do it the slice of life style because those over explanation are a chore to read, but the slice of life style will suit this more since you want this to be a slow story. and yes, please do work on those tangents it will be greatly appreciated, and I will look forward to the improvements.
You could leave some things without lengthy explanations so that the reader can think about it himself. The first 8 chapters remind me more of textbook examples than a novel.
TrapLover:Honestly, I don't see this story being 'good' until we're much higher in the chapter count because of all the tangents. But to a certain extent that's on purpose. Most of the things I've had tangents about are either hints toward future things or explaining background information that will help make my novel seem more 'realistic'.
“Be more realistic” dude you made Sona reach an absurd conclusion from an extremely vague sentence at 8 years old
TrapLover:I probably should have said it somewhere, but this will be a very slow story since that is more like what I personally enjoy. As for the over explanation you mentioned, I do that because I'd like for the characters to see more realistic. I do tend to go on tangents though.
While it may have been a bit of a stretch, Sona is extremely good at finding out hidden details such as these even in cannon. And as realistic as I want it to be, a certain amount of plot armor is neccessary. It wouldn’t be fantasy if it was too reaistic.
Zbara_1577:“Be more realistic” dude you made Sona reach an absurd conclusion from an extremely vague sentence at 8 years oldimage
Dude, even then this is too much. Hinting at future plot threads is better done in moderation. Some writers have previously described writing a story as showing people a 'snapshot' of a world, seeing just enough to understand the story and let it progress without overloading the reader. Quality should be relatively consistent as well; further chapters are allowed to enhance the previous chapters but if the first bunch of chapters aren't good on their own then people won't be willing to read until then. You have a lot of potential plot-wise and character-wise, but the over-explaining is definitely doing more harm than good. You can just hint at things vaguely on occasion.
TrapLover:Honestly, I don't see this story being 'good' until we're much higher in the chapter count because of all the tangents. But to a certain extent that's on purpose. Most of the things I've had tangents about are either hints toward future things or explaining background information that will help make my novel seem more 'realistic'.
I’d like to think I’ve improved on that front recently though obviously I am biased.
Ramses_The_Third:Dude, even then this is too much. Hinting at future plot threads is better done in moderation. Some writers have previously described writing a story as showing people a 'snapshot' of a world, seeing just enough to understand the story and let it progress without overloading the reader. Quality should be relatively consistent as well; further chapters are allowed to enhance the previous chapters but if the first bunch of chapters aren't good on their own then people won't be willing to read until then. You have a lot of potential plot-wise and character-wise, but the over-explaining is definitely doing more harm than good. You can just hint at things vaguely on occasion.
just found this and now I'm interested to see what everybody is talking about lol
TrapLover:I’d like to think I’ve improved on that front recently though obviously I am biased.
