webnovel
Daoofmilk
DaoofmilkLv42yr
2023-04-13 00:39

Writing quality is bad. Grammar is passable but author doesn't have a lot of creativity. Story development is bad as well. author doesn't wanna change canon and when he does it's unrealistic. character design is again bad. MC doesn't have a very defined personality and as the story progresses the author makes no attempts to define it. The Mc also takes the spot of the canon characters (Mc does what the original character) so nothing new to be added to the universe of one piece just author's very bad self-insert. I have no problem with author's who have their OC's and SI join the canon crew but if they don't change canon in any impactful way then what's the point? also why add an OC/SI if your just gonna have them do what another characters would've done. I'm also certain the author deleted bad reviews because a story this bad definitely wouldn't have anything above 2 stars. but this is webnovel and most reviews are just people putting 5 or 1 stars and then filling the word requirement on the review without actually explaining what's good or bad about the novel

Liked by 39 people

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Replies1
Jacklikestoread
JacklikestoreadLv13

on god

Other Reviews
EpicGamer123
EpicGamer123Lv4

Great story! Glad it's not your typical OP from the start MC. He starts off really weak but is progressing at a nice pace. Also cool that he's encouraged the rest of the crew to train more too. Particularly Nami and Usopp. They've got so much untapped potential that is literally waiting to burst out. Only thing that I've found a bit iffy, and they aren't even too big, is 1. Why's bro keep calling Luffy captain? Like, I get he's your captain, but he's also your friend. Call him Luffy in normal situations, but call him captain in serious ones. And 2. I feel he's giving out too much information. I know he's set up a background where it would make sense, but that background is a pretty weak one which could be easily popped, and doesn't explain why he's knows so much about certain individuals. Some things I suggest for your story, which aren't really too involved with your character as I like him. 1. Add onto his "backstory". 2. For close combat, when you reach Skypeia, have Usopp implement dials into his Hammer for close range. Maybe also have him get those bouncy boots from the Shandians (Can't remember too well, it's been quite a while). 3. Make them spar and learn off each other. By now I feel at least Robin, Franky, and Brook should've unlocked some basic haki. We've got 4 masters of it on board the ship now, there aren't much excuses. It would be cool if SH were like a Rocks second coming, although on a much smaller scale. Where all the Strawhats in their prime are atleast 3rd Commander level. And last 4. Please add in some wholesome canon chapters. Where it's not all about plot, and it's just the crew getting up to their same old shenanigans. That's all from me, sorry for the word vomit. Just wanted to get across to you how good your story is and possible things to consider. I know you've already gotten a lot of comments on it, and you've already responded, but I just wanted to emphasize how much you can't drop. Thanks!

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