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fangman
fangmanLv52yr
2022-08-03 16:39

It was good before the reveal of the devil fruit of mc its just the ability of the fruit is complicated and its going in the same pattern as the other one piece fanfiction i read, because the ability of the fruit is complicated it will fall in the same category of the other story of excuse of rewrite or drop or loss interest or no idea to navigate the story sooner or later it will definitely happen im sure of of it so sorry

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Replies7
R_O_B
R_O_BLv1

what another fanfic?

Might_Cho
Might_ChoLv14

whats the MC DF ability?

Infinite_Shadow_57
Infinite_Shadow_57Lv14

Did you find out what his Devil Fruit ability is?

Might_Cho:whats the MC DF ability?
Might_Cho
Might_ChoLv14

no, I'm still waiting for an answer

Infinite_Shadow_57:Did you find out what his Devil Fruit ability is?
Crimson_King
Crimson_KingLv6

What type of devil fruit is it? Whats the power?

Apollyon_
Apollyon_Lv4

Mc gets a dec of cards and gambles with himself, increasing or decreasin ghis strength. There’s a weird mental luck meter tube thing mentioned but I didn’t stay long enough to figure out what that was supposed to mean.

Crimson_King:What type of devil fruit is it? Whats the power?
Crimson_King
Crimson_KingLv6

Honestly that sound pretty boring. Not worth reading then.

Apollyon_:Mc gets a dec of cards and gambles with himself, increasing or decreasin ghis strength. There’s a weird mental luck meter tube thing mentioned but I didn’t stay long enough to figure out what that was supposed to mean.
Other Reviews
EpicGamer123
EpicGamer123Lv4

Great story! Glad it's not your typical OP from the start MC. He starts off really weak but is progressing at a nice pace. Also cool that he's encouraged the rest of the crew to train more too. Particularly Nami and Usopp. They've got so much untapped potential that is literally waiting to burst out. Only thing that I've found a bit iffy, and they aren't even too big, is 1. Why's bro keep calling Luffy captain? Like, I get he's your captain, but he's also your friend. Call him Luffy in normal situations, but call him captain in serious ones. And 2. I feel he's giving out too much information. I know he's set up a background where it would make sense, but that background is a pretty weak one which could be easily popped, and doesn't explain why he's knows so much about certain individuals. Some things I suggest for your story, which aren't really too involved with your character as I like him. 1. Add onto his "backstory". 2. For close combat, when you reach Skypeia, have Usopp implement dials into his Hammer for close range. Maybe also have him get those bouncy boots from the Shandians (Can't remember too well, it's been quite a while). 3. Make them spar and learn off each other. By now I feel at least Robin, Franky, and Brook should've unlocked some basic haki. We've got 4 masters of it on board the ship now, there aren't much excuses. It would be cool if SH were like a Rocks second coming, although on a much smaller scale. Where all the Strawhats in their prime are atleast 3rd Commander level. And last 4. Please add in some wholesome canon chapters. Where it's not all about plot, and it's just the crew getting up to their same old shenanigans. That's all from me, sorry for the word vomit. Just wanted to get across to you how good your story is and possible things to consider. I know you've already gotten a lot of comments on it, and you've already responded, but I just wanted to emphasize how much you can't drop. Thanks!

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