webnovel
Tobi_One_Kenobi
Tobi_One_KenobiLv42yr
2022-08-28 23:35

the way you write conversation and speech e.g Jake-"" yeah that was enough to put me off. someone commented on this in the second paragraph of the first chapter and you gave it a like, but on the second chapter you did the same thing. i tried to ignore but by chapter 15 i just couldnt handle it and skimmed to the end to see if you still continued and you did. so yeah 1 star, i could'nt enjoy anything. personally found it a complete waste of time

Dragon ball Z: A True Saiyan

Ozonelayer
4.2
169 Chs

Liked by 21 people

LIKE
Replies4
Tobi_One_Kenobi
Tobi_One_KenobiLv4

you see, you liked the review. fam, usually when you like a comment, it means you acknowlage and appreciate the input given, and as an author, you apply that input in the next piece of work. to me it seems like you just skim what anyone writes about your story and then go on with your day . its.... annoying. so at leats rsspect that there are people that are not satisfied with the standards of your story and proceed to change what can be changed. and i think taking out names before speech is an easy fix. sucks that you're probably gonna skim this comment too and go to the next one. as it is right now, 600 people liked this story. and ita dissapointing to realize im never going to enjoy it as they did.

2yr
7
Ozonelayer
OzonelayerAuthor

Yo my man I appreciate the input, and on my second novel I have improved the dialogue between characters, just wanted to say though that I’m slighty more than 20 chapters ahead of what i post here, so changing everything would be tedious and uncomfortable as that is how I wrote the dialogue between the character in this book. Anyways thxs for the review and well, hopefully when this novel ends and I start posting the second novel, you can come and read that one.👍🏾😘😍

Tobi_One_Kenobi:you see, you liked the review. fam, usually when you like a comment, it means you acknowlage and appreciate the input given, and as an author, you apply that input in the next piece of work. to me it seems like you just skim what anyone writes about your story and then go on with your day . its.... annoying. so at leats rsspect that there are people that are not satisfied with the standards of your story and proceed to change what can be changed. and i think taking out names before speech is an easy fix. sucks that you're probably gonna skim this comment too and go to the next one. as it is right now, 600 people liked this story. and ita dissapointing to realize im never going to enjoy it as they did.
2yr
2
Ozonelayer
OzonelayerAuthor

Also the reason i like almost every comment is beacuse that tells me someone went out of their way to read my novel, and thats the reason why I made this novel in the first place.

Ozonelayer:Yo my man I appreciate the input, and on my second novel I have improved the dialogue between characters, just wanted to say though that I’m slighty more than 20 chapters ahead of what i post here, so changing everything would be tedious and uncomfortable as that is how I wrote the dialogue between the character in this book. Anyways thxs for the review and well, hopefully when this novel ends and I start posting the second novel, you can come and read that one.👍🏾😘😍
2yr
1
Tobi_One_Kenobi
Tobi_One_KenobiLv4

aight fam say less

Ozonelayer:Yo my man I appreciate the input, and on my second novel I have improved the dialogue between characters, just wanted to say though that I’m slighty more than 20 chapters ahead of what i post here, so changing everything would be tedious and uncomfortable as that is how I wrote the dialogue between the character in this book. Anyways thxs for the review and well, hopefully when this novel ends and I start posting the second novel, you can come and read that one.👍🏾😘😍
2yr
3
Other Reviews
_BLANK_BLANK_
_BLANK_BLANK_Lv3

This review is only based on plot and plot holes. (I'm not giving it on writing quality or grammar as they aren't matter if the story itself doesn't have much.) So let's start. It start with. Author giving Mc overpowered wish. ( Lssj+ ancient ssj_ what ever that it) combined. ( which he patheticly Nerfed which I'll talk in a moment) Mc asked to be in an harsh environment( as in 10 to 100x planet Vegeta Gravity, and such which is actually good ( but wasn't executive properly) As his parents lived there for 4 year ( give or take few) and still had a pl under 50k Any dbz fan knows thats a heavy nerf ( goku in 6 days went from 9k to 90k iirc under same 100x gravity of earth and they have areas which have gravity over 20 x and more of P.V .. THATS 200 X of earth ) This story is Heavily surrounded by the element of Nerf to its characters. Unnecessary/ easily avoidable plot holes, and as much of fonon lore as author could add, which in tern makes the background of dbz meaningless. And if asked why such nerf, the answer is Mc won't have an opponent or such iirc from paragraph comments. And my question is then why gave LSSJ and the ancient Saiyan ( what ever that is but I expect it to be equally strong if not stronger) and what we get ? 25k BPL at birth, seriously? And after 4 years it around 140k . Thats all, I ain't gonna spoile more.

2yr

AnAxeToGrind
AnAxeToGrindLv5

As long as you don't use your brain or look at the numbers he uses then it can be an alright novel... ,.......................................

2yr
Immortal_Dao
Immortal_DaoLv2

I'm gonna tell that I'm agree with everything _BLANK_BLANK_ said , but I want to add something, and that is at sage's age, broly could fight with vegeta blue and goku blue, with this I mean that something better and stronger is expected from sage, but it seems that sage is a copy very nerfed of broly although sage is a fusion of the ancient and the legendary lineage.

2yr
InternetSaint
InternetSaintLv1

"God gives me wishes" story. ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ......

2yr
Dynamic321
Dynamic321Lv1

I think you should change the overpowered tag from weak to strong cause the Mc is so weak. The new version of the same name, and I think I would have been the most popular connection for it.

2yr
Fanfic_Lovers
Fanfic_LoversLv3

Not good Not good Not good Not good Not good Not good Not good Not good Not good Not good Not good Not goodNot good Not good Not good Not goodNot good Not good Not good Not good

2yr
MrShark123
MrShark123Lv4

so far I love this fic pls don't drop it. I hope you keep updating regularly..................... ..........................................

2yr
PainIsReality
PainIsRealityLv3

Ignore the power levels and how many times he nerfes charictors

2yr
Haku_Ouroboros
Haku_OuroborosLv12

No le bastaba con hacer al MC un mono literalmente, que también le puso como futura pareja un mujer con cola de serpiente sin piernas. Esto es creado por un fanático de los furros o que?

2yr
Related Stories

Warhammer: Starting as a Planetary Governor

In the 41st millennium, darkness rages across the galaxy! The Imperium of Man has lost half of its territories. Millions of planets have fallen victim to the invasion of Chaos! Famine, crime, and heretical cults spread like wildfire… On the planet of Urth, located in the Imperium's dark zone, extreme suffering is taking place. Fortunately, the savior, Eden, has arrived! He awakens to the essence of the Warp and leads his people to prosperity! Starting from a small, broken territory: Farming, building armies, managing internal affairs, unifying the planet, creating Space Marines, forming a fleet, embarking on a grand expedition... When the Lord Regent leads the Imperial fleet to reclaim lost lands, he gazes upon the flourishing star systems and the sky-darkening armada, then looks back at his own ragged ships and is left dumbfounded... Who is the true Imperium? [Raw: 官场职场 > 战锤：从行星总督开始]

Zaelum · Anime & Comics
4.8
276 Chs

Pokemon: Skybound

Transported to the world of Pokémon, Kai begins his journey in Kanto with his trusted Ralts. Along the way, he battles iconic Trainers, encounters legendary Pokémon, and thwarts the plans of villainous teams. From the Indigo League to the Galar League, Kai’s relentless pursuit of championship glory takes him across generations and regions. As both a Trainer and special investigator, he uncovers mysteries, forges powerful bonds, and even catches the eye of Champion Cynthia. In a world of battles, bonds, and adventure, what legacy will Kai leave behind? ---- •I don't own Pokemon or any other characters other than the Oc's. This is purely a fanfiction. *"*"*"*"*"* This is a Translation Alternative names:我收服了宝可梦 Author: 侵掠如火

iamxeno · Anime & Comics
4.3
355 Chs

Mash-up Anime World: Creating the SCP Foundation to Contain Anomalies

Takamine Haruto transmigrated into a crossover anime world. His childhood friend is Eriri, his deskmate is Yukinoshita, the school beauty next door is Kaguya, and his new neighbor is Gabriel. He originally thought he could enjoy a peaceful life in this slice-of-life anime setting! But then—he stepped outside and found the Female Titan, Annie. Around the corner, he ran into the gluttonous Kamishiro Rize. A concrete statue that twists people's necks the moment they look away? A shy entity that hunts you to the ends of the earth if you make eye contact? An immortal lizard that adapts to any environment and continuously evolves? Takamine Haruto was overwhelmed. To maintain his peaceful daily life, he established the SCP Foundation to contain anomalies from across the multiverse! Note: This is a translation (Raw: 人在综漫：打造基金会，收容万界) Advance Chapters Here: p@treon.c0m/VenerableZayUnderHeaven Join Responsibly

VenerableZay · Anime & Comics
4.6
294 Chs

Naruto: Ren the Sealmaster

A man who would have preferred not to be there was reincarnated into Narutoverse. Much to his chagrin, he received no powers, system or anything the fanfic protagonists he read about in his past life usually got. Eventually, finding his calling in the art of sealing and excelling, he has only his own determination and smarts to survive the upcoming apocalyptic events. Now, if only Sarutobi for some reason did not butterfly most of his foreknowledge away with his superb decision-making. What has life in store for him now? One thing is certain, things don't always go his way. ------------------------------------------------ Think of this world as an alternate universe. It started as canon but the MCs existence caused butterflies. Unknown even to him, he said the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong person... and here we go. But don't tell him. He is going to find out much later on in the story that his problems were caused by himself. ------------------------------------------------ Anyone who wants to support me: https://www.patreon.com/kasicair

KasiCair · Anime & Comics
4.4
95 Chs

Sign-In System: One Piece, Demon Slayer & Beyond

Ron finds himself reborn in the world of One Piece, stranded on a remote island in the East Blue. But he's not just any ordinary child—he’s bonded to a mysterious sign-in system that grants him powers with every new location he visits. At his first sign-in, he unlocks the legendary Sun Breathing Technique, along with a boost to his vitality. From Shitmotsuki Village to Skypiea, Enies Lobby to Marineford, Ron travels the world, collecting extraordinary rewards that make him a force to be reckoned with. The Raikiri, one of the 21 Great Grade Swords, Armament Haki, Observation Haki, and more fall into his hands. As Ron steps onto the battlefield of Marineford during the legendary Summit War, the mightiest warriors—Four Emperors and Marine Admirals alike—pause, stunned by his presence. But Ron merely waves them off, "Don’t mind me. I’m just passing through." Join Ron on his journey across the Grand Line as he signs in at iconic locations, growing stronger with every step. This is not just an adventure—it’s a legend in the making. -------------- This is a multiverse fanfiction starting in One Piece, transitioning into Demon Slayer, then to One Punch Man, and more. If you’re only here for One Piece, feel free to stop when that arc concludes. If you love crossovers, you can continue reading :) -------------- Access 40+ chapters in advance on my Patreon: pat reon.com /ElvenKing20.

ElvenKing20 · Anime & Comics
4.8
207 Chs

MHA : Cursed by Fate

The story starts at the end of another. A young boy reincarnated in the world of 'My Hero Academia' and he was born with the template system of 'Ryomen Sukuna' from Jujutsu Kaisen. He was born decades before the canon story starts and he was in the same generation with people like Rumi, Ryukyu, Aizawa etc. He lived the typical reincarnated life. He had a great family this time around, went to UA, faced multiple challenges and overcame them, fell in love and went on to fight the main villain All for One. But here is the twist. This story will start only after the main character complete the Sukuna Template which is the end of his story. We will skip the whole part of getting to UA, training his power, falling in love, completing system mission etc. This is because the main character is truly himself only after the system is completed. That is when the main character became truly free again, without system missions and Sukuna's influence. This story will be like 'Frieren: Beyond Journey's End' where the story will reveal the past while also moving forward. I am not very good with synopsis so please just read the first few chapters. .. .. //////////////////////// What to expect : #A good MC but fate wants him to be evil. Being good and having Sukuna template does not go well. #Rumi as the main romantic partner with a few girls here and there. It's complicated but ultimately in the harem category. #Overpowered MC from the start. Only All Might and All for One are even in his level of strength. #Revenge and tragedy. This mostly happen before the story starts but in the current timeline there will be no tragedy. #Although MC is in an older generation, the canon timeline will still be relevant. #Slight AU on the years of characters. Mostly the old heroes so that they can be in the same generation. For Example Midnight is like two years younger so that she was MC's classmate That is all.

Willbe · Anime & Comics
4.8
17 Chs
Login